Death by spam is now possible with a new device by Microsoft. The device when implanted in the user's skull allows downloading of email directly into the brain.
Niles Bookbinder, 37, an assistant working for Jon Hanson, author of Good Debt, Bad Debt was accidentally spammed to death Tuesday morning using a beta version of a new email device called, "MS Mind." A Microsoft spokesperson said, "We don't have all of the bugs worked out yet, but this is the first death we know of." Mr. Bookbinder had unwittingly "unchecked" the spam filter in the MS Mind control panel. Without the spam filter, apparently Niles unleashed the entire world of spam into his "medulla interface" and was literally spammed to death. It's likely the last words Mr. Bookbinder heard were, "You've got mail!"
Wireless Medulla Interface providers are popping up everywhere. Dr. Jack Kevorkian sees the new Wireless "G" Medulla cards as a real advance for him. With these systems, euthanasia supporters predict quick, painless death by simply bypassing the filters and downloading thousands of spam emails quickly. Kevorkian said, "I have been looking forward to killing patients by email." Kevorkian expects his prices to be competitive with AOL.
While it is not a victimless crime, it would be a crime without a knowable perpetrator. You would have no way of knowing whether your "loved one" was finished off by the breast enlargement, Viagra softabs starting at $2.99, or $ave $$$ now refinance emails.
A PETA spokesperson, Ima Chihuahua, said she found the idea disturbing because it could lead to so-called Spam Collars that would be used to kill pets as they aged, or "convenience" killings, such as when a young couple could not find a kennel on their way to Vegas or they simply change their minds about having a pet.
PETA may be right. It has long been rumored that KFC has been testing the effectiveness of spamming chickens to death versus simply whacking off their heads. In earlier tests, chickens were forced to watch Gili and Ishtar until they simply cut off their own heads, but this experiment was discontinued because of the cruelty to experimenters.
Spamicide, accidental or not, will undoubtedly set off a bitter debate in America as Anti-Spammers and Right-to-Spam groups rally to raise money and jockey for political clout.
George W. Bush seemed bewildered at this morning's briefing. He looked to his press secretary and said, "Are we Right-to-Spam or Anti-Spammers?" Elsewhere, Jesse Jackson, finding it difficult to be Right-to-Spam said, "It should be the choice of the spammee. Spamicide should be legal, available, and rare."
NEXT WEEK: Partial Spam Deletion. Should this barbaric practice be outlawed? Are thousands of viable spams being killed in spam filters, just before being downloaded? The debate continues...
Jon Hanson
www.gooddebt.com
jon[at]gooddebt.com
Jon Hanson, is the author of "Good Debt, Bad Debt: Knowing the Difference Can Save Your Financial Life"
His web site is http://www.gooddebt.com jon [at] gooddebt.com
For a bit of audio comic relief go to: http://www.gooddebt.com
Available for interviews radio, print, TV, contact Jon through the website http://www.gooddebt.com
Review of Good Debt, Bad Debt: USA Today February 7, 2005 http://www.gooddebt.com
limousine Ackley .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareFor years I didn't worry much about spam.But lately it's... Read More
When you go to your mailbox and find pieces of... Read More
Q: I am so sick of all the spam that... Read More
Unless the filters on your computer are really good, you're... Read More
1. Ignore Spam EmailDo not open an unsolicited email. Spammers... Read More
Spam can bring down your website faster than a speeding... Read More
We all hate spam and get way too much of... Read More
Are you tired of spam stealing your time, your money,... Read More
Very often SPAMMERS take advantage of catch-all email setup on... Read More
With SPAM being such a problem it might seem the... Read More
It's a nightmare isn't it? You fire up your email... Read More
If you're anything like me, you're pretty sick of it,... Read More
Spam can be a lot more damaging than you might... Read More
Junk e-mail or spam has become the scourge of the... Read More
Spam, as defined in the context of computers, the Internet... Read More
You just sat at your desk, opened your email account... Read More
Spammers get email addresses from web pages using programs called... Read More
Spam filter is the solution that most people resort when... Read More
Marketers usually think of anti-spam tactics as 'how to prevent'... Read More
2004 was really a year when the whole subject of... Read More
If you are buried in SPAM then you're not alone.... Read More
English, German, Italian - It's All SPAM To MeHas anyone... Read More
Effectively stopping spam over the long-term requires much more than... Read More
Over the past few years you've all become familiar with... Read More
If you've been around the interenet any length of time... Read More
shuttle from O'Hare Alexander ..How would you feel if you found a link on... Read More
... and you'd better sit up and take notice! Customers... Read More
You must be one of them experiencing a lot of... Read More
Spam, spam, spam. It's terrible not only for those of... Read More
Email is the quintessential business communication tool, so when it... Read More
You all tear your hair out in frustration every time... Read More
Let me ask a couple of questions:If (potential) customers sends... Read More
Block Spam and Other Email Threats From Entering Your Gateway... Read More
Junk mail works. Why does it work? How does it... Read More
The first thing I do every morning when I wake... Read More
Spammers get email addresses from web pages using programs called... Read More
Spam. You've all heard of the crazy pink meat in... Read More
I. BACKGROUNDThe CAN-SPAM Act of 2003 (Controlling the Assault of... Read More
Most of us have opened our email program and found,... Read More
Like everybody who will ever read this, I get spam... Read More
It's a nightmare isn't it? You fire up your email... Read More
RSS is the answer to the Spam epidemic of the... Read More
I'm really, truly fed up with spam. Every day when... Read More
The lifeblood of the spammer is email. They need to... Read More
You can stop unwanted email spam, you can choose to... Read More
E-mails now have a connection back to their servers. I... Read More
You may have already received a do not spam list... Read More
Effectively stopping spam over the long-term requires much more than... Read More
A blacklist, as the name implies, is a list of... Read More
Spam can be a lot more damaging than you might... Read More
Spam Blocking |