There's a Native American belief that before we are born, we choose our parents. It actually ties in pretty nicely with the reincarnation idea that we prearrange certain circumstances before each life so as to learn different lessons. Either way, our parents teach us so much more than they ever mean to. Through their choices, circumstances, faults, talents and ability to show their love and support, they mold us. If life is a rat race, then our folks determine what we come out of the starting blocks with.
The gifts they give us are so much more than biological. Yeah, there's the basics of whether or not you go through life as pretty, ugly, or just sort of plain looking. I don't have to tell you that physical looks, athletic abilities, and general health definitely effect how we go through life. Our parents can decide whether or not we're deformed or mentally challenged by deciding to create alcohol syndrome or drug addicted babies. And they genetically predispose us to various future challenges, like breast cancer or heart disease. Other than by taking care of our bodies with proper rest and nutrition while growing up, there isn't a whole lot that they can do about most of the physical characteristics they pass along to us.
Most of us are average, that's what average means. So most of us inherit average bodies with average talents and average health. So what does it matter who we choose as our parents? For proof, just look at the people who were raised by adopted parents or those who were raised in blended step-families. Their biology isn't really what comes to mind when we look at the gifts and challenges they received from their 'folks.'
Our parents - whether biological, adopted, or stepparents - determined what our environment would be while growing up. They chose our financial health, spiritual health, educational health, social health, and mental health. They may have consciously sat down and made the decisions and acted on them, or they may have paid no attention whatsoever to how those things would turn out. Many parents are themselves uneducated or unhealthy in some of these areas and don't even know that there were other choices to be made. It's not always intentional, what they chose. Either way, they made choices that determined all of those things for us.
It's really easy if we had blessed childhoods to give thanks to our parents for making wonderful choices on our behalf. If we believe in that theory that we choose our parents before birth, then we can nod and say, "Yep, I certainly did pick some winners! Sure am glad I picked those two as my parents. They supported me in everything I ever wanted to do and paid for my music lessons and never stopped loving me no matter what!"
But what if you were one of those kids whose childhood sucked? Was your dad an alcoholic? Was your mom the queen of guilt trips? Was your dad the overachiever who pressured you to carry on his legacy? Was your mother a gold digger hopping from one wealthy man to the next, never really paying attention to you? Were your folks ignorant and uneducated, not having a clue that you were a bored genius with nobody to talk to? Did they make choices constantly based on themselves instead of their children? Were they artists who got so carried away in the creative process that they'd forget you existed at times? Whatever the story, you get the idea. You may or may not love your folks, but you know that if you had it to do over again you certainly wouldn't have picked those two people to be in charge of your early years. The last thing you want to hear is that you might have chosen that upbringing for yourself.
Shift gears with me here, for just a minute. Look into yourself and tell me what you are most proud of. Is it your tenacity? Your ability to pick yourself up and carry on no matter what? Your moxie? Your incredible ability to read other people and know just how to reach out and help them? Your artistic ability to create music that sings to the soul of the lonely and uplift them for just a minute? Your incredible work ethic? Your own ability to really be present and in the moment with your own kids? Sit for a moment and look at the incredible strength and amazing traits that you created for yourself despite your parents.
If I had been the spoiled pampered princess I wanted to be, I would never be able to write for you today. It's because I come from a broken home that I know how important true loving connection is regardless of whether the original two parents are the ones raising you or not. It's because I was under the impression that I was abandoned that I found out how to be strong and independent and no longer clingy and needy. I wouldn't have the pride and self assurance that I can overcome anything life throws at me if I had always had the safety net of family to fall back on. Look into your own life. Would you be the amazing person you are today if you had been raised with a silver spoon and ideal parents?
Initially when we begin our healing process, we can identify what particular flavor of 'screwed up' we are and who's fault it is that we turned out that way. Continuing on the path of healing, we get to a place where we can forgive those who helped create the mess that we became. Finally, we come to realize what a blessing it was that we got to go through that particular journey and to learn those particular lessons and to gain those particular tools and gifts as a result. Then we can be grateful that we chose the parents we did.
Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge
About The Author
Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. Go to www.tomorrowsedge.net to read more of her articles and to get a free preview of one of her books.
Brookfield limo Midway .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareRose Ann Schwab is an internationally and world renowned professional... Read More
Make no mistake about it, change is challenging whether it... Read More
Christians all over the world will all be tempted in... Read More
In the game of billiards there are two things you... Read More
If you were Satan and your goal is to destroy... Read More
With excitement and anticipation I jumped on a plane last... Read More
As Christian's we are often very independent. We try to... Read More
Years ago, my minister spoke to us about how you... Read More
I find myself floating on a cloud as heavenly music... Read More
Stress is amazingly persistent, even seductive. We get used to... Read More
Often, in being dishonest about our own faults and failures,... Read More
I love rivers. I have for many years lived away... Read More
In Corrogue I feel wonderful.As friends know I love singing.... Read More
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances,... Read More
My thoughts can get a little edgy at night. Possibly... Read More
Angels, those divine beings of love and light, are here... Read More
Mrs. Dixon the famous prognosticator and psychic to the stars... Read More
What does it mean to be comfortable in your own... Read More
No one appreciates mothers enough. In this life, that's a... Read More
Fanny J. Crosby's famous hymn, "Tell Me the Story of... Read More
Obviously, if you really want to learn about the meanings... Read More
I come face to face with self whenever you come... Read More
We, a group of ordinary people who believe in Jesus... Read More
There's a lot of talk in meditation circles about emptying... Read More
The human body is surely a miracle of God's creation.... Read More
Medinah cheap limo ..It will all be clear in a minute, but first... Read More
We make sense of our world via the senses. The... Read More
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and... Read More
If you're going to listen to anyone you're going to... Read More
In the spring of 2003, I spent three weeks in... Read More
Coming face to face with yourself in the space between... Read More
Angels, those divine beings of love and light, are here... Read More
'Jesus answered, are there not twelve hours in a day?... Read More
Don't be confused that a saint is a religious leader... Read More
I want to share with you something that happened to... Read More
For some of us, EVERY DAY IS HALLOWEEN!!! If you... Read More
Oceans... There's water in 'em! :-)It may seem a bit... Read More
Spending 'Quiet Time' with the LordFrom the beginning of my... Read More
Divining Rods, also known as Dowsing Rods, have been used... Read More
I am not enlightened, and yet,... Read More
While it isn't my intention to insult anyone (Alright, for... Read More
One of the first things you will find that God... Read More
What kind of foolishness is astrology? You read about Sun... Read More
"Spirit is beyond the void of space. This realm, beyond... Read More
As human beings it is inherent to want to self-actualize... Read More
For the past several years I have struggled with getting... Read More
One of the things I have had to deal with... Read More
The smart 'spiritual' answer is 'you always get what you... Read More
... Read More
A new chapter in my life begins today, the anniversary... Read More
Spirituality |