Home
>
Spirituality
>
Christian Forums: The Heroic Battle Between the Forces of Good and the Demon of Anti-Access

Christian Forums: The Heroic Battle Between the Forces of Good and the Demon of Anti-Access

Saturday I was hangin' ten on my Dell when I ran across a Christian Forum. Not just any Christian forum, THE Christian Forum. How did I know? It said so: ChristianForum.com.

I looked at a couple of the posts and thought it might be cool to sing a few lines of "Pass It On" while holding cyber-hands with my bros around the warm glow of a CRT. Just like camp.

Kinda made me misty?

So I checked out the registration and applied. Being the self-promoter I am, I chose "WhoreChurchcom" as my user name. Couple of extra visitors can't hurt, huh?

So I hit submit expecting to be ushered into the stained glass chat rooms of cyberdom.

Drats! they have to approve me first. Just when I was ready to test my speedy typing skills.

My hunger for fellowship still burning in my gut, I fire up Google and search for "Christian Forums". Sure 'nuff, there's quite a few out there. I settled on one and clicked.

With blazing T1 speed, I was propelled to the hallowed halls of CrossWalk.com.

I quickly located the registration form and entered my information. With no little amount of anxiety I hit "submit", hoping against all hope that no moderator had to approve my admission, denying me precious moments of blessed fellowship.

Hallelujah! All I had to do was confirm my email address and I was in! A few moments and I was there: In The Cyber Cathedral with Hundreds, nay Millions of my Fellows.

A topic caught my eye: "Walking in Truth." I read with great anticipation my Brother's thoughtful post. Did I have a word of encouragement? Correction? Addition? My fingers, Matrix-like, became a blur over the keyboard. First one post, then two.

I was in the Holy-Spirit-Helpin'-Zone.

Within a few moments I had helped five of my fellow pilgrims. Spent, I collapsed in my chair. Emotionally drained yet strangely fulfilled. I was a part of The Body.

Needing sustenance, I used the last of my strength to stumble to the refrigerator where I passed out. I heard an angel saying, "Get up, the journey is too much for you," placing a Diet Coke in my weakened hand and one of my wife's oatmeal cookies in my mouth.

Strengthened by the Angel Food, I returned to my chair. Had another caring soul responded to my posts? Is there a word of encouragement for me? A "Thank You" from someone whom I just saved from a life of error?

Access Denied.

What? Certainly this is a glitch. I tried logging in again?Access Denied. Possibly this must be a Demonic Attack spawned of the Evil One. Access Denied. Fowl Spawn from Earth's Bowels, I will not be defeated! You will not deny me access!

I logged in again. Again the screen taunted me: Access Denied. Demon of Anti-Access I rebuke you in the Name of Jesus!

Still the 17" Diagonal Imp taunted me: Access Denied!

Wait! How silly of me. Certainly in my euphoric fatigue I had forgotten the password. This was no demon, it was simply my humanity.

I clicked over to email-and that's when it happened. No, it cannot be. But yes, it had.

Ben, Moderator of the Cross-Walk, notified me. I had violated rule 20 and been banned from the forum.

Rule 20? Had I in my human weakness progressed far beyond the 10 Commandments and transgressed not rule 11 or even rule 18, but that hallowed "Rule 20".

Crushed I wandered into bed. "Been having fun on the computer, honey?" my wife inquired. Without reply I rolled over and sobbed myself to sleep.

Kevin Scott is the owner of http://www.whorechurch.com exposing the luncacy going on in the name of Christ. Visit now for a whole new perspective on your faith. You might get mad, but it will surely make you think.

same day cleaning service Des Plaines ..

In The News:

New Android banking trojan Sturnus steals credentials, reads encrypted messages and controls devices.

Denmark's 3D-printed student village proves automation builds 36 apartments faster than traditional methods. Skovsporet project shows housing future.

Discover Android's new Sound Notifications feature that alerts you to smoke alarms, doorbells, and baby cries even when wearing headphones.

New SantaStealer malware reportedly threatens holiday shoppers with password theft. This Christmas-themed info-stealer targets browsers and crypto wallets.

The Christmas season brings a surge in Netflix phishing scams targeting shoppers with fake emails. Stacey P received convincing scam but verified account first.

San Francisco Giants invite Jamie Grohsong to throw ceremonial first pitch at Oracle Park after he learned to play baseball with a bionic hand following an injury.

FBI warns cybercriminals are stealing family photos from social media to create fake proof of life images in virtual kidnapping scams targeting victims.

Instagram's new 'Your Algorithm' tool lets you control your Reels feed in real time. The app now gives you power to customize what videos you see.

Major Marquis fintech breach exposes 400,000-plus Americans' data through unpatched SonicWall vulnerability, with Texas hardest hit at 354,000 affected.

Free up iPhone storage fast by clearing large photos and videos from Messages app. Simple steps for iOS users to delete attachments without losing chats.

Scammers are flooding inboxes with fake tracking alerts that mimic real carriers, exploiting the holiday rush to steal logins and personal data.

The Fox News AI Newsletter brings you the latest news on AI technology advancements and the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Texas family reunites with missing 11-year-old cat Grayson after 103 days using Petco Love Lost's AI photo matching technology and community help.

Tired of AI customer service loops? These insider tricks help you escape "frustration AI" and get real human help when you need it most for urgent issues.

Unlock richer audio from your streaming apps with simple tweaks to volume normalization, equalizer settings, and quality preferences for cleaner sound.

Scammers are sending fake Facebook settlement payout emails that mimic legitimate notices from the privacy settlement administrator to deceive users.

Holiday shopping scams surge as fake refund emails target distracted consumers during Black Friday and holiday seasons, costing Americans billions annually.

The AI-powered IRMO M1 exoskeleton features four modes, including turbo, eco, training and rest for hiking, running, cycling and sports with eight-hour battery life.

OpenAI announced upgrades for its ChatGPT Images platform on Tuesday, saying the program can now make more precise edits and produce images more quickly.

Chrome for Android now turns web articles into AI-powered podcast conversations. Get hands-free browsing with Google Gemini's natural audio summaries.

LastPass faces $1.6 million fine from U.K. regulators after 2022 data breach exposed 1.6 million users. Password manager failed proper security controls.

Petco disclosed a data breach exposing customer Social Security numbers, financial account details, and driver's license information due to a software error.

Baseball teams can now analyze complete swing mechanics in normal training environments using Theia's markerless AI system that processes standard high-speed footage.

Smart home hacking fears overblown? Expert reveals real cybersecurity risks and simple protection tips to keep your connected devices safe from hackers.

MIT develops needle-free glucose monitor using light technology. Revolutionary device could replace painful finger pricks for diabetes management.

Christian Forums: The Heroic Battle Between the Forces of Good and the Demon of Anti-Access

Spirituality