Uh, oh. I'm in trouble now. I found God. Now what do I do with Him?
It's not like I can just ask Him to go sit in a corner while I go on about my life. He's kind of hard to ignore. And while he seems kindly enough, and a whole lot more patient than I am when bumping up against the obstacles in my life, just knowing He's there makes me squirm.
Once I thought it would be cool to know Him. You know, like hanging out together. Maybe even throwing down a couple of cold ones while we shot the bull. In some regards, I think it can still be like that. But He's like, so, well, unusual that people are starting to look at me like I'm weird.
Did you ever walk into a room and know all eyes were watching your every move? Now imagine it was because you came in with someone who looked so good that you felt like an ugly duckling by comparison. And you knew they just wondered, "Why in the world is he/she hanging out with that geek?"
That's sort of how I feel now. He glows in the dark. That light is SOOOO bright it's blinding. At least, it sure seems to have that impact on everyone else I meet. They act like they don't see me at all any more. Or if they do, they treat me like I'm a leper. I can almost hear the whispers behind the stares. "There's the guy that goes with God. Oooh, yuck. Get away from him." Not God, but me.
Sometimes I get the feeling they're jealous, and that if I would just disappear, they'd all be circling Him and wanting an autograph, or some other piece of Him they could take home and put up on the wall. But since He's with me, they try to pretend they're not looking at either of us.
Funny, they didn't act that way before I found Him. I had a lot of friends, and thought people liked me. I guess, at least as much as you like your local pit bull. But now that I'm hanging out with Him, it's like I've got coodies or something.
Don't think I'm imagining things. I've heard what they're saying. That I'm blaspheming by making God one of the guys. That I should have left him up in His ivory tower instead of dragging him down here in the dirt with me. Or that I can't know Him because I don't hang out in the same places as they go on Saturday or Sunday to try to find Him. Or eat the right foods or mumble the right prayers.
Maybe they're right, and I'm the crazy one. Perhaps it's all in my head, and I'm talking to some giant, invisible rabbit. All I know is they sure seem uncomfortable. And that rubs off on me.
I don't want to make Him feel unwanted. Heck, I worked hard to find Him. Besides, He's been a good friend, always there when I needed Him, and quick to dry my tears when things weren't going so good. In fact, only recently I've started noticing the many gifts he's casually dropped into my life, even when I was so stuck up I thought I was doing it all by myself. And not once did He ever ask me for anything in return.
At least, that's what I thought. But the more I got to know Him, the more I realized there was something He wanted. Something I'd been afraid to do for the longest time. One day as we were talking over a cup of coffee, he finally blurted it out.
"If you love Me, then love yourself," He said in that soft whisper He uses in those moments of our greatest connection. "You are everything I wanted you to be when I sent you here." I just looked at Him as He continued. "There is nothing more I ask of you."
I tried to defend myself. "But what about all those things I have to do? I thought you wanted me to love others!"
"If you truly love yourself, you won't have to try. It will happen naturally," was His reply. "You've been parading me around town, thinking that somehow showed you're now a better person, secretly hoping others would think more of you. Life's not about how they see you, but how you see yourself.
"Don't hold Me up as something to show off to your friends. Just let me stoke the fire of love that already smolders inside you. When it's fanned to a flame, they'll naturally come closer to warm themselves. And in so doing, it will strike a spark that will spread 'round the world."
He reached over, and with his index finger touched my heart. "This is where I am, and will be. Find yourself, and there you will find Me." And with that, He smiled, and faded into my memory.
So, maybe all those other people were right. I am different, and my flame isn't bright enough yet for them to see. But it will be.
In the meantime, I know where to find Him. In me, where He's been all along.
Copyright 2004 by John Dennison. John is a voice for those who do not hear or know they have an inner voice. Author of Whispers in the Silence: Living by the Light of Your Soul, he can be reached at john@whisperzone.org or visit him at john@whisperzone.org, home for those who know their own way.
executive chauffeured services Bradford .. Madison to Airport carTaco Bell, the Mexican fast-food franchise, has a new ad... Read More
Today I was in rather a whimsical mood, and so... Read More
God said, "Thou shalt not?" and we continue to tell... Read More
"Spirit is beyond the void of space. This realm, beyond... Read More
Saturday I was hangin' ten on my Dell when I... Read More
Of the many individuals who were touched through the ministry... Read More
Military personnel at a U.S. prison in Guantanamo, Bay, Cuba... Read More
It's late. But it's usually those words that you cannot... Read More
I honestly am not sure why this hit me so... Read More
One of the first issues people on the spiritual path... Read More
The more that "little me" allows surrender the more is... Read More
(Channelled)I have been trying to ignore this title "A Man... Read More
What does the story of your life say about you?... Read More
Christians all over the world will all be tempted in... Read More
As we walk along our paths in life, we will... Read More
It is tough being here on this plane. You have... Read More
With those words recorded in Exodus 15:26, God proclaims to... Read More
Charity isn't the easiest virtue to master. And with St.... Read More
Talking about your "soul" and the deeper things in life... Read More
It is life, time for breathing deep, sighs and touching... Read More
Freedom....The cherished goal of humanity throughout its history.No society has... Read More
Imagine the Bible is a sharp and deadly double-edged sword,... Read More
At the start of your dream journey, one of the... Read More
It doesn't matter what magazine or newspaper you pick up... Read More
Stress is amazingly persistent, even seductive. We get used to... Read More
O'Hare Chicago prom limo .."No man is a prophet in his own country."That line... Read More
Last month, one of my readers needed a new car.... Read More
Lectio divina is a very useful and practical discipline for... Read More
Sounds like a tall order doesn't it? But I think... Read More
(Channelled)Roy, what a marvellous job you are doing on your... Read More
The normal Aquarian preoccupation with rational science is clearly seen... Read More
WOW ... what a question. But today, while I was... Read More
Self-actualization comes down to three basic premises: this is who... Read More
The second verse of Amy Grant's song, "Angels Watching Over... Read More
Although spring is just around the corner, there have been... Read More
His name sounds as Finn. He has beautiful blue eyes... Read More
There was a time in my life when I seriously... Read More
The lighter side of Tarot deals with games played using... Read More
Those of us, who are familiar with Apostle Paul's sermon... Read More
Since my departure from the traditional "Corporate Life" almost 8... Read More
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other,... Read More
While I do hope to avoid arguing the merits or... Read More
One thing that Jesus was NOT - was flashy. When... Read More
Qohelet had grown old with time when he delivered his... Read More
Billy Graham once said, "Being a Christian is more than... Read More
What is Enlightenment?What do we really mean when we talk... Read More
I was originally brought up Catholic, at the insistence of... Read More
The deeper beauty of spring is its process. In winter's... Read More
Yesterday, a marketing guru asked me a question that left... Read More
Unconditional love means unconditional freedom. Love and freedom are two... Read More
Spirituality |