Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrell recently starred in the movie version of the 1960s TV sitcom "Bewitched." For those of you who missed the movie or are too young to remember the TV show, here is the basic plot:
Samantha Stevens is the wife who looks like a regular woman, but is in fact a nice witch, able to wiggle her nose and create any object, situation, or person she desires. Darren Stevens is a somewhat nerdy architect who tries to get his wife to not use her abilities and act normal. Mayhem and laughter ensue.
As a little kid back in the late 60s, I wondered what in the world could be wrong with Darren.
Here was a guy who could have anything he ever wanted because of the gifts of his wife, and all he could do was try to get her not to use her gifts and "be normal."
Even as a little kid, I knew this guy had to be some special kind of idiot.
The entire situation reminds me of one of my favorite quotes about marriage:
"When you marry, you don't marry one person, you marry three. The person you think they are, the person they really are, and the person they will become as a result of marrying you."
One of the purposes of marriage is to help the other person grow into the best possible version of themselves.
Yet I believe we all too often do just the opposite and act just like Darren Stevens.
How to be a Darren
In a word, lousy. This is a great way to create distance in a relationship. You will also prevent your relationship from reaching it's full potential. If you have kids, it's a horrible model for how to treat someone you supposedly love and an equally horrible model for how to do relationships and marriage.
You have been a very poor influence on your partner. At best, you have a very fertile breeding ground for resentment. At worst, you have a breakup looking for a place to happen.
How to do much better than Darren
Become a student of your partner. Make it your assignment to know this one person very well.
Then use your database. Most couples who have been together for any length of time actually know each other quite well if they stop to thing about it. Most couples just don't use what they know in a positive way.
Celebrate the gifts of your partner. Encourage them in their gifts. Support them in discovering and exploring their gifts and skills.
Take advantage of the information available today about how to do relationships. Visit www.secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips.
Brag about your partner to others.
Tell your partner, often and in detail, what you admire in them.
Results
A great place to come home to. A great model for your children, and to others, about how to do marriage and relationships. Richard Bach, in his book "The Bridge Across Forever" talks of a kind of relationship in which you are better off and stronger together than you would be alone. When you support and lift up your partner, you are creating a relationship where you are stronger together than either of you would be alone.
In which situation would you prefer to live?
Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
taxi to O'Hare Belle Rive .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareEden, the garden of ecstasy is no longer available to... Read More
"Self-Actualization" is the process of making our self "actual." Our... Read More
For the last 35 years, I have been working with... Read More
I am not enlightened, and yet,... Read More
I do not want curiosity seekers, who come for a... Read More
Matthew 3:4-6 John Baptizes the People4 Now John wore a... Read More
The Birth of Jesus Christ18 Now the birth of Jesus... Read More
In my work with clients who have physical illnesses there... Read More
In his book, Stress Without Distress, Dr. Selye suggests that... Read More
Realisation and repeated memorization of the true knowledge is the... Read More
If you spend a hundred bucks and buy the right... Read More
We all hear of the concept of the "Enlightened Master",... Read More
I am a big believer in the strength of a... Read More
"It's a big challenge. It's a journey into the unknown.... Read More
Animal spirit totems can be viewed in different ways according... Read More
If you're going to listen to anyone you're going to... Read More
In one forum, one participant posted this query:I think quite... Read More
What is Enlightenment?What do we really mean when we talk... Read More
I had visions of my daughter for about five years... Read More
"Mama, save me!"My six year old son jumped into my... Read More
"Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because... Read More
Following are 17 questions that can be used as a... Read More
Maybe once in a lifetime, we find ourselves seeking spiritual... Read More
Each time our children graduate from one stage to another... Read More
John Eldredge writes in his book Waking the Dead, "God... Read More
ohare limo service Bristol ..What kind of foolishness is astrology? You read about Sun... Read More
"In the sixth century of the sixth millennium, the gates... Read More
As more and more alternative and spiritual healings are being... Read More
It's an almost unbelievable thought, but could you be getting... Read More
"It's a big challenge. It's a journey into the unknown.... Read More
"What does it profit a man to have gained the... Read More
Today I was in rather a whimsical mood, and so... Read More
... Read More
Within every obstacle there is an equivalent or greater benefit.~Napoleon... Read More
Meeting someone so attractive, so beautiful. Your heart beats like... Read More
Here they are, our Ladies of Mercy and Divine Benevolence.... Read More
As a Psychiatrist I spent most of my life training... Read More
Worldwide extensive research is being published related to the mind-body... Read More
The atmosphere surrounding the earth is still a matter of... Read More
God made humans in his image but these days very... Read More
We all sin. To avoid using the "s" word, we... Read More
Does this ever happen to you? You ask God for... Read More
As I listen with pastors and preachers in the body... Read More
Some say praising Jesus is just singing. Others say it... Read More
In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the... Read More
There are no better people to be around than those... Read More
The second verse of Amy Grant's song, "Angels Watching Over... Read More
What we think is what we are. Our lives are... Read More
The time has come for the mass population on Earth... Read More
We know that David did much to stabilize the Kingdom... Read More
Spirituality |