=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-
Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life by Kevin B. Burk
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-
I'd like to invite you to consider a powerful concept. This concept is essential--we must learn how to master it if we want to experience the levels of joy, happiness, love and prosperity that are our birthright. Many of us, however, resist this concept. We use it sparingly, if at all, and occasionally, we won't even consider it as an option. In fact, for many of us, this concept is so emotionally charged that I hesitate to even name it, because if I call it anything other than the "f-word" it could put our egos on high alert.
You see, in many cases, avoiding this concept is the ego's front line defense--an effort to protect us from experiencing pain. The ego believes that if we embraced the "f-word" we would be defenseless at best, and at worst, we would be destroyed completely. Of course, it doesn't help that most of us have a somewhat ego- and fear-based understanding of the "f-word" that makes it less than appealing. The truth is that embracing the "f-word" is the secret to experiencing genuine freedom in our lives.
So, what is the "f-word"? Forgiveness.
In order to improve our lives, our relationships, and our reality, we must learn and practice forgiveness. We must forgive freely, liberally, and often. We must forgive everything and everyone--especially the people we are the most reluctant to forgive. But let's take a few moments to consider the true nature of forgiveness.
Guy Williams, a friend of mine who also happens to be a minister of Religious Science, suggested this take on the nature of forgiveness. Forgiveness simply means to give as before. When we are angry with someone, when we harbor resentment towards someone, we have stopped giving to him or her. We no longer give that person our love or our compassion. They have betrayed us and caused us pain. And we know what happens anytime we have a painful experience, right? Our egos immediately create a new frame and a new belief in an effort to protect us from experiencing that pain again in the future.
Our egos are reluctant to accept the truth that sometimes unpleasant and painful experiences are unavoidable. Our egos need to believe that they can protect us. Our egos need a scapegoat--something (or someone) concrete that can be identified, isolated and avoided. Holding onto our anger and resentment keeps us separate from the person or persons who betrayed us. This, in turn, reinforces the illusion that we are separate from those individuals, and distances us from the truth that there is no separation: We are all aspects of All That Is. The less we remember the truth of who we are, the more our essential spiritual and life lessons seem to present challenges rather than opportunities. Everyone always does the best they can at any given time, and that's all we can ever expect.
It's worth noting that when we choose to hold a grudge and to remain angry, we carry the pain of the betrayal with us. We experience a small amount of pain each time we think of it. The ego actually wants us to experience this pain, because the little pain will serve to remind us how important it is to avoid the big pain. And the only way to avoid the big pain is to protect ourselves from close, supportive relationships with those who have hurt or betrayed us.
Frequently, the person that we most need to forgive is our self. We betray ourselves each time we listen to the ego and forget the truth of who we are. And the more we betray ourselves, the more our egos try to protect us (from ourselves, yet!) by strengthening the illusion of separation from the Source. And of course, the more we believe the illusion of separation, the more we betray ourselves, and experience pain. The way to break out of this vicious circle is to forgive ourselves--to "give as before." We must learn to express unconditional love and compassion for ourselves. As we experience this love and compassion, we will reconnect with our true selves. And the more we're able to forgive ourselves, the more we're able to forgive others.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-
Kevin B. Burk is the author of The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life. Visit http://www.everyrelationship.com for a FREE report on creating AMAZING Relationships.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-
home cleaning services Bannockburn ..I have held numerous teleconference workshops where I help individuals... Read More
My wife, our friend and I went to listen to... Read More
What does it take to live life holistically?It definitely does... Read More
The truth revealed as we read about Hazael also reminds... Read More
As a Coach and Psychotherapist I have found that the... Read More
One cannot make a decision in the moment of now.... Read More
What is it with angels and digital clocks? I fell... Read More
As we proceed further into the 21st century there is... Read More
Sometimes trying to be spiritual holds us back from actually... Read More
"All you who are thirsty, come and drink." ISAIAH 55:1,... Read More
Jesus said, "No one can see the Kingdom of Heaven... Read More
I come face to face with self whenever you come... Read More
I would like to share my experience, working with the... Read More
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. --ROMANS... Read More
In today's world we worry about everything, food, jobs, clothing,... Read More
"But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and... Read More
The term spirituality is a confusing term. Usually, when one... Read More
The first gospel written by Matthew,who is Levi, is the... Read More
We all hear of the concept of the "Enlightened Master",... Read More
The human body is surely a miracle of God's creation.... Read More
THE GNOSTICS, ESSENES AND THE 'OCCULT':Throughout this book I have... Read More
Can God really heal your pain? Does every trial come... Read More
Seems that everyone who writes to me signs their letters... Read More
Last NAN I explained how to petition the female Saints... Read More
Fanny J. Crosby's famous hymn, "Tell Me the Story of... Read More
eco-friendly cleaning service Winnetka ..Good morning Roy, good morning Joseth. (Channelled)From time to time... Read More
You can't help but feel a sense of electricity in... Read More
While it isn't my intention to insult anyone (Alright, for... Read More
Many of us have been taught that it is wrong... Read More
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances,... Read More
My mentor, a brilliant Ph.D, with a powerful marriage counseling... Read More
Lost, but you don't know where you're going.Lost is a... Read More
Knowing what is right and what is wrong in your... Read More
An acrostic prayer poem.The Lord loves me and is gracious... Read More
The chakras are different coloured energy centres that originate from... Read More
We have to go through some unfortunate experiences sometimes in... Read More
Before the movie "Finding Nemo", came out Steve Jobs the... Read More
I would like to share my experience, working with the... Read More
Is life challenging you to take a bigger leap? Are... Read More
An Introduction to MatthewSETTINGHave you ever been promised something wonderful,... Read More
The famous prayer of Jabez, where Jabez prayed for prosperity,... Read More
When the storms in your life are raging, just believe,... Read More
"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken... Read More
There once was a man who wanted to teach himself... Read More
We humans are a funny, funny breed. We spend our... Read More
You will become as great as your dominant aspiration...If you... Read More
Not a Failure!Those of you who are unemployed, or desire... Read More
There is no such thing as a coincidence. Albert Einstein... Read More
Judgement; What does this mean? The encyclopedia definition is, "The... Read More
Spirit DancerThe spirit dancer is the card of creative expression.... Read More
Spirituality |