Why is it that some people become totally stressed when the smallest thing goes wrong while others can cope with extraordinary amounts of pressure with it batting an eye?
There can be many factors at play here. We become more easily stressed when we are tired or unwell. But with all things being equal it is what we think about a situation that will determine whether we are stressed by it or not.
For example, let's look at two people waiting for a phone call from a potential romantic interest and how differently they respond when they do not receive the phone call.
Person A starts to fret and draws many conclusions about why the person hasn't called and will most likely start to think about all the times in the past that they have been let down in a similar manner. They might start to think things like - "men never call when they say they will, there must be something wrong with me because no one wants to go out with me, men are totally unreliable, no one is ever going to want to go out with me again etc." With all these negative thoughts and self-talk, person A is likely to become stressed, depressed and/or defensive.
Person B on the other hand simply thinks that the potential caller forgot, were busy or changed their minds. They may feel a little disappointed that the phone call did not occur but they do not get involved in a lot of negative thinking and simply let it go and get on with their day.
There are two important differences occurring with our two people.
Person A is taking it personally and is then inventing stories about the situation.
Person B is just sticking to facts. Person B is not dredging up the past and making things up about what is going on and is not jumping to conclusions about what this one missed phone call will mean to their future.
When you look at it like this, you see how ridiculous we can be, when we feel that someone has let us down. We search our past for every related incident and this makes us feel even worse and makes us project into the future and all we can then see is that we are going to be unhappy forever more.
But in reality what has really happened is that we have talked ourselves in to becoming stressed and unhappy.
If we want to stop stressing ourselves with our thinking we need to get control of our wandering minds and instead stick to the facts. With our missed phone call the facts simply are
1. Someone told us they would phone at a certain time
2. They did not phone when they said they would.
3. We probably feel disappointed
So those are the facts - the rest of it we invent.
So next time you are getting stressed, stop a moment and consider what the facts are and what you are inventing about those facts. You may even be able to stop the stress dead in its tracks and laugh at how our own minds can be our worst enemy.
Need ways to reduce your stress levels? See Kerry-Ann Cox's latest book "10 spiritual laws for stress reduction". For information go to http://www.exaltedliving.com/stress.htm It covers more ways that we stress ourselves with our thinking and how to get control or your mind and become calmer.
elite cleaning services Mundelein ..What part of no don't you understand? - Bumper stickerThe... Read More
Many of my readers write to me about the tensions... Read More
Ask a hundred different people how to deal with stress... Read More
Whether we are at work, traveling, or at home, we've... Read More
The right amount of stress can be good for you,... Read More
David Bowie once sang, "Ch-ch-changes, tryin' to face the strain."And... Read More
Of all the forms of stress in today's world, computer... Read More
Most humans experience unexpected setbacks which can cause huge stress... Read More
If you live in the early part of the twenty-first... Read More
Perhaps you've heard of the 80/20 rule, but don't know... Read More
Do you feel tense and anxious at work? Do your... Read More
Lake Hopatcong, NJ (PRWEB) November 30, 2004 -- Here are... Read More
Everyone knows that stress isn't good - that it can... Read More
Everywhere I go, I hear the same unpleasant sentence repeated... Read More
Have you recently moved or started a new job? Do... Read More
A stressless lifestyle? That's very easy to say. Yet it... Read More
The fall season signals a shift in most people's minds.... Read More
Q. So many times in my life, I seem to... Read More
"The great lesson from the true mystics, from the Zen... Read More
"We do not stop playing because we grow old. We... Read More
Comedian George Carlin once remarked, "Have your ever noticed? Anyone... Read More
Insomnia is usually the result of the modern way of... Read More
This heading may seem like a contradiction in terms. How... Read More
... Read More
When was the last time you took a day just... Read More
Airbnb cleaning service Mundelein ..When was the last time you took a day just... Read More
1. Acknowledge that requesting support, guidance and partnership is not... Read More
What is the greatest fear of man? Is it death?... Read More
No this is not related to praying, this is how... Read More
Picture the following scene:It's Sunday evening, the weekend is winding... Read More
Meditation seems to have arrived in the mainstream of late,... Read More
This is the time for daydreaming about your annual vacation.... Read More
Quote of the week"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." Leonardo da... Read More
Workplace stress is on the rise and it's costing corporate... Read More
"The great lesson from the true mystics, from the Zen... Read More
Over the years I've collected scores of comics and cartoons... Read More
Do you have stress in your life?......I know you answered... Read More
10 Ways to Monitor Corporate Stress LevelsGood military leaders work... Read More
In a hectic world, it's all too easy to reach... Read More
"Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into... Read More
Loneliness and separation are the real illness of our times.... Read More
Stress is an interpretation of an event or circumstance which... Read More
Living in our world today can be very stressful. While... Read More
Everyone experiences stress at some point in their life. In... Read More
My grandmother, a feisty and athletic woman in her younger... Read More
Breathing is the vital force of life. It is considered... Read More
Work stress has become a major problem today. The nature... Read More
"Watch your language."We all heard this admonition as kids and... Read More
Everybody deals with fear and anxiety, however some people have... Read More
According to the StressPulse survey by ComPsych Corporation completed at... Read More
Stress Management |