Don't wait to have a life-threatening disease to learn what I learned. When you think you'll die from cancer in six months you wonder why you've spent so much of your life rushing to get more done. At least I did. Let me explain: I grew up believing that I'd be loved, or not, because of what I did and that belief drove me to constantly try to please people.
I craved approval and finally found it in the workplace. I loved it. It wasn't long before I figured that if I worked faster, harder, longer hours I'd get even more approval. And I was right, I did! Coffee breaks? Who needs them? Take time to get to know other employees to understand their role in the company? Plodding away at my desk would show how much more responsible I was than my coworkers. Through the years I developed a bad habit of staying late, and coming in early, and as if that wasn't bad enough, I spent all my evenings and weekends writing so I could have more approval as an author.
You know, when a car is out of control it has to either stop or crash. It's simple for us to understand this and so we're careful not to let our actions cause the car to be out of control.
Not so easy to make that connection in our lives. Too often, when we realize we're out of control we just pick up the pace, try to do whatever we're doing faster, harder, longer hours hoping that we can regain control. Not only does that not work, but most of the time we don't even connect the inevitable crash to our earlier behavior.
Once (okay, more than once) I had a job that was so stressful that some days I could barely bring myself to go to work. Did I quit? Uh uh. I kept showing up, kept putting my poor body through incredible stress until it crashed.
In October 1997 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. One of the things I realized was that if I died, very few of the projects I was pushing myself to get done would matter ? at least to me. And everyone could appreciate my hard work a lot at the funeral but I'd still be dead.
I had the lump removed, didn't do the other things the surgeon wanted me to do and I made a commitment to learning to take care of myself. I trusted a naturopath for my after care.
I stopped putting myself at risk by trying to do what everybody else wanted me to do. I stopped being a workaholic and took time to relax, to have fun, to eat healthy food even if it took a few minutes longer to prepare.
I learned to focus on a few projects instead of trying to get everything done. I learned to schedule meetings and social lunches into the next week, never the current one.
Last year I took off a whole day to think about my filing system and developed one that works for me (everything goes into a labeled folder, every folder goes into an 8-inch plastic filing tub, a 3x5 card with identifying information gets stuck on a corkboard to remind me about callbacks).
I learned that a lot of what it takes to slow down is just deciding to. In your car you back off a little, ease the pressure on the gas pedal, maybe even put on the brakes to avoid a crash. In your life, sometimes you need to back off a little, ease the pressure on yourself, put on the brakes. Don't wait to get sick to learn what I learned. Slow down now; avoid a crash.
Karin Ireland, author of the award-winning Learning to Trust Myself: Lessons From Cancer and Other Life Dilemmas and 10 Practices That Will Bring You Peace, Confidence and Success: The Workbook is a popular speaker, workshop leader, and personal coach. Visit her at http://www.irelandcommunications.com
apartment cleaning near Highland Park ..How much attention is paid to one of the biggest... Read More
Do you get out of your car with a queasy... Read More
"The great lesson from the true mystics, from the Zen... Read More
Don't let stress wear you down. Next time you are... Read More
Do you feel that you just don't have the time... Read More
What would you say if I told you I know... Read More
Positive self-esteem is very important for our general health and... Read More
We all know that stress levels in the workplace are... Read More
"I'm stressed out."If you find yourself thinking--or saying--this on a... Read More
"Learn how to turn frustration into fascination. You will learn... Read More
Adversity is an unavoidable part of life. Death of a... Read More
Living in our world today can be very stressful. While... Read More
As we celebrate yet another Labor Day, I thought it... Read More
Q. Help! I moved from the Dallas to Denver. I... Read More
Imagine going through your whole life in the constant fear... Read More
This is the time for daydreaming about your annual vacation.... Read More
Looking for all of the answers in how to manage... Read More
1)Excessive worryNo, I'm not saying "don't worry, be happy."Well-used worry... Read More
Voice: Bill!Bill: I thought I heard a voice.Voice: Bill! This... Read More
1. 5-minute rule. How many times do we say, "This... Read More
Quote of the week"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." Leonardo da... Read More
Several studies, including one of medical students around exam time,... Read More
Tough leaders are usually seen as ogres. Their exacting demands... Read More
Most of us lead busy lives, trying to successfully juggle... Read More
"One day I'm a mother, One day I'm a lover,... Read More
cleaning lady near Arlington Heights ..Are you a person who has a keen imagination, a... Read More
After a stressful day as a computer programmer, Jim pulled... Read More
IntroductionTime magazine called stress the "The Epidemic of the Eighties".... Read More
More than two-thirds of visits to doctors' surgeries are for... Read More
Conceptualizing stress: Stress often has a negative connotation. Failure, illnesses,... Read More
Worry, big or small blocks positive vibrations from entering your... Read More
There is good stress, and there is bad stress. Good... Read More
Modern stress is habitual, and is something that the vast... Read More
1. Take a relaxing bath. Add music, candles and a... Read More
1. The Law of EveryoneIt is not neccessarily wrong to... Read More
Meditation, relaxation and visualisation are the standard recommendations for reducing... Read More
Living in our world today can be very stressful. While... Read More
This heading may seem like a contradiction in terms. How... Read More
The National Center for health statistics reported that in 1997,... Read More
Do you have stress in your life?......I know you answered... Read More
Tough leaders are usually seen as ogres. Their exacting demands... Read More
Of all the forms of stress in today's world, computer... Read More
CHICAGO - According to a recent article in the September... Read More
First, let's make a distinction between pressure and stress. We... Read More
Life would be so wonderful if it weren't for other... Read More
The future is nothing but a fantasy or a daydream,... Read More
Stressed? Relax Right Now with 5 Super-Simple Stress-BustersStressed-out? Don't know... Read More
There may be so much you want to change in... Read More
Picture the following scene:It's Sunday evening, the weekend is winding... Read More
So many of us live a stressful life. Unfortunately, when... Read More
Stress Management |