Don't wait to have a life-threatening disease to learn what I learned. When you think you'll die from cancer in six months you wonder why you've spent so much of your life rushing to get more done. At least I did. Let me explain: I grew up believing that I'd be loved, or not, because of what I did and that belief drove me to constantly try to please people.
I craved approval and finally found it in the workplace. I loved it. It wasn't long before I figured that if I worked faster, harder, longer hours I'd get even more approval. And I was right, I did! Coffee breaks? Who needs them? Take time to get to know other employees to understand their role in the company? Plodding away at my desk would show how much more responsible I was than my coworkers. Through the years I developed a bad habit of staying late, and coming in early, and as if that wasn't bad enough, I spent all my evenings and weekends writing so I could have more approval as an author.
You know, when a car is out of control it has to either stop or crash. It's simple for us to understand this and so we're careful not to let our actions cause the car to be out of control.
Not so easy to make that connection in our lives. Too often, when we realize we're out of control we just pick up the pace, try to do whatever we're doing faster, harder, longer hours hoping that we can regain control. Not only does that not work, but most of the time we don't even connect the inevitable crash to our earlier behavior.
Once (okay, more than once) I had a job that was so stressful that some days I could barely bring myself to go to work. Did I quit? Uh uh. I kept showing up, kept putting my poor body through incredible stress until it crashed.
In October 1997 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. One of the things I realized was that if I died, very few of the projects I was pushing myself to get done would matter ? at least to me. And everyone could appreciate my hard work a lot at the funeral but I'd still be dead.
I had the lump removed, didn't do the other things the surgeon wanted me to do and I made a commitment to learning to take care of myself. I trusted a naturopath for my after care.
I stopped putting myself at risk by trying to do what everybody else wanted me to do. I stopped being a workaholic and took time to relax, to have fun, to eat healthy food even if it took a few minutes longer to prepare.
I learned to focus on a few projects instead of trying to get everything done. I learned to schedule meetings and social lunches into the next week, never the current one.
Last year I took off a whole day to think about my filing system and developed one that works for me (everything goes into a labeled folder, every folder goes into an 8-inch plastic filing tub, a 3x5 card with identifying information gets stuck on a corkboard to remind me about callbacks).
I learned that a lot of what it takes to slow down is just deciding to. In your car you back off a little, ease the pressure on the gas pedal, maybe even put on the brakes to avoid a crash. In your life, sometimes you need to back off a little, ease the pressure on yourself, put on the brakes. Don't wait to get sick to learn what I learned. Slow down now; avoid a crash.
Karin Ireland, author of the award-winning Learning to Trust Myself: Lessons From Cancer and Other Life Dilemmas and 10 Practices That Will Bring You Peace, Confidence and Success: The Workbook is a popular speaker, workshop leader, and personal coach. Visit her at http://www.irelandcommunications.com
personalized cleaning services Mundelein .."Learn how to turn frustration into fascination. You will learn... Read More
How much attention is paid to one of the biggest... Read More
Let's take a look at some of the more serious... Read More
Workers across America will tell you that stresslevels are increasing.... Read More
Do you worry all the time?Do the following symptoms bother... Read More
Imagine driving down the road. You are driving with a... Read More
When something happens in our lives, we automatically assess the... Read More
Burt Reynolds revealed his vulnerable side when he realized he... Read More
Recently the well known American news anchor Peter Jennings died... Read More
Life can offer us many challenges having to do with... Read More
... Read More
Do you ever feel stressed? Is stress a regular component... Read More
1. Determine your "unique ability" and capitalize on itDelegate the... Read More
According to the StressPulse survey by ComPsych Corporation completed at... Read More
The number one most popular issue that users of a... Read More
For those of you who have been living in a... Read More
1. The Law of StagnationThis is also known as first... Read More
Stress and anxiety can prematurely age our mind and body.... Read More
?And holding it way down inside you like an old... Read More
Life is funny.Throughout the day, there are plenty of humorous... Read More
After a stressful day as a computer programmer, Jim pulled... Read More
A while back, I was in a minor fender-bender accident,... Read More
Meditation, relaxation and visualisation are the standard recommendations for reducing... Read More
This is a tool to measure the amount of stress... Read More
If you're like most people, you have your bouts of... Read More
one time home cleaning Buffalo Grove ..The fast pace of life is taking toll on every... Read More
If you are an anxiety and panic sufferer, then you've... Read More
When Army leaders fail to control battlefield stress, they lose... Read More
Every day we are faced with a situation where our... Read More
Many of my readers write to me about the tensions... Read More
For those of you who have been living in a... Read More
Ask a hundred different people how to deal with stress... Read More
At what age does the benefit of play cease? Child... Read More
"Learn how to turn frustration into fascination. You will learn... Read More
Author and speaker H. Stephen Glenn has said,"In terms of... Read More
Did you know that taking a short trip, such as... Read More
1. Take a relaxing bath. Add music, candles and a... Read More
I had the unpleasant experience of being pulled over the... Read More
Writing down our thoughts and feelings, as in keeping a... Read More
I just got through reading some troubling news in the... Read More
"Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into... Read More
Insomnia is usually the result of the modern way of... Read More
ResentmentsA wise friend once said that holding onto resentments is... Read More
It is no secret that stress and related disorders are... Read More
Anyone who has ever worked knows that stress is part... Read More
Often, in today's fast paced world, we forget to take... Read More
Elizabeth, 32, cried during anger management class as she told... Read More
Of all the forms of stress in today's world, computer... Read More
In the fast-paced world that we live in today, it... Read More
The main problem in a down economy is that workplaces... Read More
Stress Management |