Don't wait to have a life-threatening disease to learn what I learned. When you think you'll die from cancer in six months you wonder why you've spent so much of your life rushing to get more done. At least I did. Let me explain: I grew up believing that I'd be loved, or not, because of what I did and that belief drove me to constantly try to please people.
I craved approval and finally found it in the workplace. I loved it. It wasn't long before I figured that if I worked faster, harder, longer hours I'd get even more approval. And I was right, I did! Coffee breaks? Who needs them? Take time to get to know other employees to understand their role in the company? Plodding away at my desk would show how much more responsible I was than my coworkers. Through the years I developed a bad habit of staying late, and coming in early, and as if that wasn't bad enough, I spent all my evenings and weekends writing so I could have more approval as an author.
You know, when a car is out of control it has to either stop or crash. It's simple for us to understand this and so we're careful not to let our actions cause the car to be out of control.
Not so easy to make that connection in our lives. Too often, when we realize we're out of control we just pick up the pace, try to do whatever we're doing faster, harder, longer hours hoping that we can regain control. Not only does that not work, but most of the time we don't even connect the inevitable crash to our earlier behavior.
Once (okay, more than once) I had a job that was so stressful that some days I could barely bring myself to go to work. Did I quit? Uh uh. I kept showing up, kept putting my poor body through incredible stress until it crashed.
In October 1997 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. One of the things I realized was that if I died, very few of the projects I was pushing myself to get done would matter ? at least to me. And everyone could appreciate my hard work a lot at the funeral but I'd still be dead.
I had the lump removed, didn't do the other things the surgeon wanted me to do and I made a commitment to learning to take care of myself. I trusted a naturopath for my after care.
I stopped putting myself at risk by trying to do what everybody else wanted me to do. I stopped being a workaholic and took time to relax, to have fun, to eat healthy food even if it took a few minutes longer to prepare.
I learned to focus on a few projects instead of trying to get everything done. I learned to schedule meetings and social lunches into the next week, never the current one.
Last year I took off a whole day to think about my filing system and developed one that works for me (everything goes into a labeled folder, every folder goes into an 8-inch plastic filing tub, a 3x5 card with identifying information gets stuck on a corkboard to remind me about callbacks).
I learned that a lot of what it takes to slow down is just deciding to. In your car you back off a little, ease the pressure on the gas pedal, maybe even put on the brakes to avoid a crash. In your life, sometimes you need to back off a little, ease the pressure on yourself, put on the brakes. Don't wait to get sick to learn what I learned. Slow down now; avoid a crash.
Karin Ireland, author of the award-winning Learning to Trust Myself: Lessons From Cancer and Other Life Dilemmas and 10 Practices That Will Bring You Peace, Confidence and Success: The Workbook is a popular speaker, workshop leader, and personal coach. Visit her at http://www.irelandcommunications.com
family-safe home cleaners Morton Grove ..Workplace stress is on the rise and it's costing corporate... Read More
One of my favorite stories about change is the story... Read More
1. 5-minute rule. How many times do we say, "This... Read More
In my experience, most of us spend a lot more... Read More
Managing stress is not easy if you don't have the... Read More
Question 1"How do I get more time to play?"Answer: Schedule... Read More
The fast pace of life is taking toll on every... Read More
While free-lancing for business magazines, I was assigned to write... Read More
Syndicated columnist Dale Dauten recently wrote, "One of life's great... Read More
Conceptualizing stress: Stress often has a negative connotation. Failure, illnesses,... Read More
Workers across America will tell you that stresslevels are increasing.... Read More
The fall season signals a shift in most people's minds.... Read More
Everyday can be full of stress but we all deserve... Read More
On a beautiful summer day years ago, I went water... Read More
ResentmentsA wise friend once said that holding onto resentments is... Read More
One of the best ways to relieve yourself from the... Read More
1)Excessive worryNo, I'm not saying "don't worry, be happy."Well-used worry... Read More
We all have it; we live with it daily: stress.... Read More
When was the last time that you truly took a... Read More
The United Nations declares workplace stress to be a worldwide... Read More
Traffic jams. Toddler tantrums. Deadlines at work. Money troubles. Too... Read More
1. Acknowledge that requesting support, guidance and partnership is not... Read More
Most of us lead busy lives, trying to successfully juggle... Read More
"I've got too much to do, I've just got too... Read More
Mark Twain once said, "It's not what we don't know... Read More
home cleaning services Wilmette ..We function at our best when we are free from... Read More
What part of no don't you understand? - Bumper stickerThe... Read More
Why Stress Management programmes don't work?It seems that every week... Read More
Most people know of the importance of exercise as a... Read More
I love a good story and I know I'm not... Read More
Q. I've been told that I need to learn from... Read More
* The material presented in this article is provided for... Read More
Living in our world today can be very stressful. While... Read More
The Problem You don't need me to tell you how... Read More
1) Create the life you desireTwo of our most underdeveloped... Read More
Workers across America will tell you that stresslevels are increasing.... Read More
Among the hardest parts of living in the modern world... Read More
In a hectic world, it's all too easy to reach... Read More
So many of us live a stressful life. Unfortunately, when... Read More
Fear, and its accompanying seriousness, causes our suffering. Fear restricts... Read More
"Watch your language."We all heard this admonition as kids and... Read More
Anyone who has ever worked knows that stress is part... Read More
David Bowie once sang, "Ch-ch-changes, tryin' to face the strain."And... Read More
If you find symptoms of anxiety disorder in any of... Read More
No this is not related to praying, this is how... Read More
When we think about stress in the workplace, we usually... Read More
When Army leaders fail to control battlefield stress, they lose... Read More
Picture the following scene:It's Sunday evening, the weekend is winding... Read More
There are many kinds of daily grinds. In the U.S.... Read More
On a beautiful summer day years ago, I went water... Read More
Stress Management |