Life Happens

Shit happens. I know this to be a fact, because I read it on a t-shirt. ;-)

It's one of those simple truths that most people agree with, even though they may not like the crude language. Life is full of unwelcome surprises. It does not progress in a flawless path, no matter how hard you try, no matter how cautious you are.

Sooner or later something happens to throw you off guard. It could be an accident, a disappointment or a loss of some kind. And such stuff doesn't happen only once -- it's a fact of life, just like the t-shirt implies.

Does this mean that aggravation and misery are inevitable? That human existence is one ordeal after another?

The answer is Yes or No - depending on whether you allow your inner brat to be in charge. The inner brat is that immature holdover from early childhood, which magnifies problems, blames other people and situations, and becomes furious at having to deal with the complications of life.

When the inner brat is in control, you are so distracted by its negativity that you miss possible solutions and opportunities.

Think back to a time when you were strong, or brave, or clever. Most likely this was also a time of difficulty. In order to feel strong, or brave, or clever you had to ignore the negative influences of your inner brat, and to focus on creative solutions to your problem.

EXPERIENCES OF STRENGTH ARISE NOT WHEN LIFE IS EASY, BUT WHEN IT'S CHALLENGING. Your inner brat is not equipped to deal with challenge, but *you* are.

Next time you feel victimized by circumstances, here's a quick way to help you put the problem in perspective:

Ask yourself 2 questions:

1. Does this problem change the course of my life?

2. Will I still have this problem a month from now?

If you answered No to both these questions, just get busy and look for solutions. What can you do today to get back on track? When your inner brat complains, find a way to prove it wrong. To your inner brat, this situation looks like a crisis, but actually, it's only an inconvenience.

If you answered Yes to #1 but not #2, it means you have grown from the experience. Your inner brat may protest, but you will have the upper hand.

If you answered Yes to #2 but not #1, you have some work to do in terms of minimizing the inner brat's hold on you. Treat it as you would a nagging young child. It will quiet down if you ignore it.

If you answered Yes to both #1 and #2, I truly wish you the strength to cope. Especially at times like this, you don't need your inner brat's negative energy to drain you. You do have resiliency in you - otherwise you wouldn't have made it this far. Every day ordinary people find ways to cope with extraordinary circumstances. Pay attention to that, not to your inner brat.

When "life" happens to you, take control of your inner brat. And let's hope you don't need one of those t-shirts as a reminder. ;-)

Copyright Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. 2005. All rights reserved

Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in Camp Hill, PA, and author of "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior" (Wildcat Canyon Press, 2004)

Visit http://www.innerbrat.com for more information, and subscribe to her free, monthly Inner Brat Newsletter.

no-contract cleaning service Mundelein ..
In The News:

Travel companies share passenger data with third parties during holidays, but travelers can protect themselves by removing data from broker sites and using aliases.
Xpeng's humanoid robot moves so realistically that crowds believed it was fake, marking a major advancement in robotics technology ahead of 2026 commercial launch.
Researchers discover phishing scam using invisible characters to evade email security, with protection tips including password managers and two-factor authentication.
iPhone and Android users can reduce battery drain and data usage by restricting Background App Refresh to Wi-Fi connections instead of mobile networks.
Scammers nearly stole an Apple account by exploiting the support system with authentic-looking tickets and phone calls, users can protect themselves with safety steps.
FoloToy restored sales of its AI teddy bear Kumma after a weeklong suspension following safety group findings of risky and inappropriate responses to children.
Threat intelligence firm Synthient uncovers one of the largest password exposures ever, prompting immediate security recommendations.
Viral video shared by Elon Musk shows Tesla's Optimus humanoid robots performing tasks from cooking to construction, garnering over 58.5 million views on social media.
Chinese hackers used Anthropic's Claude AI to launch autonomous cyberattacks on 30 organizations worldwide, marking a major shift in cybersecurity threats.
Apple's new Sleep Score feature gives you a rating for your nightly rest quality. Learn how to set it up on your Apple Watch and iPhone today.
Essential phone settings to enable before losing your device, including Find My network, location services and security features for iPhone and Android.
The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.
Cybersecurity research shows weak passwords remain a major threat, with simple patterns and number sequences putting millions of accounts at risk.
New Android malware BankBot YNRK silences phones, steals banking data and drains crypto wallets automatically. Learn how this advanced threat works.
FDA approves first human trial for Paradromics' brain-computer interface that could restore speech for paralyzed patients through neural technology.
New phishing platform QRR targets Microsoft 365 users across 1,000 domains in 90 countries. Learn how to spot fake login pages and protect your accounts.
OpenTable now uses AI to track your dining habits and share insights with restaurants. Learn what data they collect and how to protect your privacy.
Google's discontinued Nest thermostats still secretly upload home data to company servers despite losing smart features, raising serious privacy concerns.
New Android malware NGate steals NFC payment codes in real-time, allowing criminals to withdraw cash from ATMs without your card. Learn protection tips.
DoorDash confirms data breach exposing customer names, emails, addresses after social engineering attack. Learn how to protect yourself from scams.
Concerned about Google's AI scanning your Gmail? Learn how to disable Gemini features that access your emails, Drive files and Chat messages for privacy.
Google warns Android users about dangerous fake VPN apps hiding malware that steals passwords, banking details and personal data from phones and tablets.
Apple's digital passport feature lets iPhone users breeze through TSA checkpoints this holiday season using Digital ID technology at 250+ airports.
A new phishing scam targets family photos with fake "Cloud Storage Full" alerts. Criminals steal credit card information through fake sites. Learn protection tips.
South Korean scientists create ultra-thin fabric muscles that turn clothes into robotic assistants, lifting 33 pounds while weighing under half an ounce.

How Breathing Differently Can Make You Happier

"When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe,... Read More

Stress Management: Are You a Chooser or a Loser?

Author and speaker H. Stephen Glenn has said,"In terms of... Read More

Music Therapy: Can Music Really Soothe The Savage Beast?

It has long been suggested that "music soothes the savage... Read More

How To Stress Less and Smile More-The Six Fundamental Steps To Improved Health

More than two-thirds of visits to doctors' surgeries are for... Read More

Reduce Stress and Enjoy More Sleep

If you suffer from insomnia of any kind, the chances... Read More

Stress Secrets: How To Remove Hidden Sources Of Stress

Most people find it easy to identify the sources of... Read More

How Stress Effects Neurotransmitters

The brain uses feel-good transmitters called endorphins when managing daily... Read More

Stress Management: 5 Questions to Get Crisis to Work for You

Q: Someone told me that the Chinese symbol for crisis... Read More

The Best Stress Relief and Its Free!

"Let your mind be quiet, realizing the beauty of the... Read More

Technology and Stress- How to Prevent Technology From Taking Over Your Life

1. 5-minute rule. How many times do we say, "This... Read More

Create Your Own Home Spa

No need to go spend money at a spa! There... Read More

Workplace Stress: What to Do During Down Times?

The main problem in a down economy is that workplaces... Read More

Stress Management and Creating Balance

The World Health Organization calls stress "the health epidemic of... Read More

Are YOU Controlling Stress So Stress Does Not Control YOU?

Have you recently moved or started a new job? Do... Read More

[Emotional Health] Are You Feeling In Control?

When it is all said and done, do you feel... Read More

Ten Tips to Ward Off Stress at the Office

CHICAGO - According to a recent article in the September... Read More

Stress Management and Mastery: 5 Tips for Positive Anger Management

A grandfather, whose grandson came to him angry at a... Read More

Natural Stress Relief - Without a Doctor!

Are you looking for stress relief? No drugs, no meditation?... Read More

The Top Seven Causes Of Workplace Stress And Fifteen Ways To Get Rid Of Them

Anyone who has ever worked knows that stress is part... Read More

Children Playing - How Play Is Important To Kids And Adults

You can learn a lot by watching children playing. There... Read More

Stress: Daily Self-Care Habits to Manage Stress

Today we have more stress in our lives than ever... Read More

10 Ways to Reduce Commuting Stress

Do you get out of your car with a queasy... Read More

Managing Stress From Another World

Modern stress is habitual, and is something that the vast... Read More

Are You Soakin? It Up?

?And holding it way down inside you like an old... Read More

A 2-Minute Stress Buster

Meditation seems to have arrived in the mainstream of late,... Read More

maid service near Glenview ..