Home
>
Stress Management
>
Stress Management: 7 Universal Laws for Managing Change

Stress Management: 7 Universal Laws for Managing Change

1. The Law of Stagnation

This is also known as first order change. First order change is a type of change where there really is no change.

How's that again? Pretty foggy, huh?

Allow me to clear it up for you. Authors Waltzlawick, Weakland and Fisch, in their book "Change: Principles of Problem Formation and Problem Resolution" explain it this way:

"...A person having a nightmare can do many things in their dream - run, hide, fight, scream, jump off a cliff, etc. - but no change from any one of these behaviors to another would ever terminate the nightmare."

In other words, you can have lots of action and moving around, without any real change taking place.

A good example from the relationship world is the belief that ending one relationship for another will change everything and make you happy. Not necessarily. Remember these profound words of wisdom, "Wherever you go, you take yourself with you."

2. The Law of Transformation

This is also known as second order change. Again, according to the authors,

"The one way out of a dream involves a change from dreaming to waking. Waking, obviously, is no longer a part of the dream, but a change to a different state altogether."

In other words, transformation, or put more simply, real change, involves movement from one state to another.

3. The Law of The Clutch

This is also known as the law of conscious attention. Several years ago, the clutch went out on my two year old car. I asked the mechanic why this would happen so soon and he asked me a few questions about how I drive. It turns out I was a champion clutch rider. If it was possible for me to have the clutch in, it was in.

What's the point? Well, I found myself having to pay conscious attention to something I had been doing, kind of unconsciously, for years - driving.

There are times in our life where we have to pay conscious and careful attention to what we are doing and thinking in order to get the changes we want.

4. The Law of Others

Whenever you set out to change someone else, you are doomed to frustration and failure. The only person we can change is ourselves, and that's difficult enough sometimes.

5. The Law of Wet Diapers

The only person who always likes change is a wet baby. Sometimes change can be the last thing we want. At the same time, change is an inevitable part of our lives.

6. The Law of Waves

Like change, there are three ways to handle a wave: you can let it knock you down, you can survive it, or you can ride it and thrive. Only the wisest and most creative of people do the latter.

7. The Law of Kaleidoscopes

Remember the kaleidoscopes we played with as kids? You would look through the hole in the tube, turn the end of the tube and watch the colors change. Many times there would be a series of small shifts followed by a big shift in the picture.

That's often how we change as well. We make a series of small shifts leading to big changes.

So if you find yourself frustrated by only being able to make small changes, remember, big changes can be just one more small shift away.

Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

car service from Midway Burlington .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says a malware app called SpyLend is posing as a financial tool, hitting 100,000-plus downloads.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says Clone Robotics’ Protoclone mimics humans with 1,000 muscles – too human for comfort.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson urges you to use Apple’s App Privacy Report to see what your apps are really up to.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about how to smoothly transfer your data from an old laptop to a new one using cloud storage or external drives.

Kurt the CyberGuy offers tips to safeguard your personal information as scammers become more sophisticated with scam texts and other methods.

WeRide's unmanned electric delivery van, the Robovan W5, has 194 cubic feet of cargo space and can carry payloads up to about 2,205 pounds

Kurt the CyberGuy recommends deleting 16 browser extensions immediately in response to a report saying more than 3.2 million web users were affected by a security breach.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

A robotics firm in China claims a robot has performed the world's first humanoid robot front flip, which is significantly more difficult than a backflip.

A digital ID may be even more secure than a physical ID. Storing your driver's license in your Apple Wallet is an ideal solution for commuters.

A cybersecurity firm has shed some light on just how common tax scams have become. Kurt the CyberGuy offers his advice for how to protect your refund.

Lifesize Plans offers immersive walk-throughs that allow customers the opportunity to tour a home's design before construction actually begins.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

A man invested $4 million in bitcoin and lost it all with a single click when he was targeted by a vishing scam, which uses phone calls to trick people.

Expandable's Touchdown is a designer trailer that promises a luxury off-grid living experience and unfolds into a home in about 15 minutes.

Major employee screening company data breach affects 3.3 million people. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson explains what happened and gives five ways to protect your data.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals mind-blowing tech that gives you sunlight on demand.

New malware "FrigidStealer" targets Mac computers. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers four ways to stay safe from infostealer malware.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about how lab-grown muscles power a biohybrid hand for scalable prosthetics and research.

Reports of task scams have significantly risen in the past four years, according to the Federal Trade Commission. Kurt the CyberGuy offers some red flags.

iPhones have a hidden folder that eats up storage without you knowing it. Kurt the CyberGuy offers some tricks to free up storage on your device.

A recent ransomeware attack targeted Zacks, an American investment firm, and a cybercriminal claimed to have stolen records for millions of customers.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Researchers unveiled a new soft prosthetic hand that combines the natural coordination patterns of our fingers with the decoding of motoneuron activity in the spinal column.

Accidentally deleting a text message on your iPhone or iPad is not a problem if you still need the message. Apple has a built-in way to recover it.