One of the dumbest things I have ever done is grab a hot iron by the bottom.
We were rushing out of the house for a trip a few years back. The last time I had used it was hours ago that morning, and had left it on the ironing bourd in the bed room. I didn't know Lauren had used it just a moment before.
I've never dropped anything so fast before or since!
Most of you are probably a whole lot smarter than me and have never picked up a hot iron. At the same time, I bet everyone has had the experience of picking up something hot, getting burned, and dropping it right away.
Would it make any sense to keep holding something hot like that? Of course not.
That's why we drop them so quickly.
Then why do we hold on so tightly to hot emotional issues and allow them to keep burning us?
Yet we do it all the time. Something inconvenient, bad, or even traumatic occurs, and we hold on to it for dear life. I've worked with people who had experienced trauma and were doing fairly well not too long after. I've also worked with people who had experienced trauma years and years ago, yet it seemed as if it had just happened.
How to Hold On
Holding on to something that is burning us requires a lot of conscious attention, just like flunking gym class in school. Here's a few "tips" for holding on:
*Play the situation or offense over and over in your mind. Be sure to make a little "mental movie" for your own viewing pleasure.
*Make sure it's the first thing you think of in the morning and the last thing you think of at night.
*Tell everyone who will give you an ear the whole entire story, in play by play detail.
*Make it the defining moment in your life.
*Isolate yourself from other people
*Rant and rave about the injustice and unfairness of it all.
*Look at yourself as a victim.
How to Drop It
Just as holding on to something requires conscious attention, dropping something requires a conscious decision. Here's a few tips for dropping it:
*as stated above, decide to. You must decide to do it before any ot the other tips will work.
*take away from it what you can learn, leave behind anything else.
*find a symbol of the event and burn it, bury it, or both. I know this might sound a little silly, but it works.
*remember the saying "Success comes from good judgement. Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement."
*and perhaps the most important: make a place for it in your life, because it did happen. And then put it in it's place, which is behind you.
Hold on and get burned or drop it and move on. It's a choice.
And it's yours to make.
Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
apartment cleaning near Highland Park .."We do not stop playing because we grow old. We... Read More
We strive for excellence in our lives, going at full... Read More
I just got through reading some troubling news in the... Read More
Why Stress Management programmes don't work?It seems that every week... Read More
There are many kinds of daily grinds. In the U.S.... Read More
The World Health Organization calls stress "the health epidemic of... Read More
Meditation seems to have arrived in the mainstream of late,... Read More
"Let your mind be quiet, realizing the beauty of the... Read More
Whether we are at work, traveling, or at home, we've... Read More
Stress can affect virtually any part of the body and... Read More
Writing down our thoughts and feelings, as in keeping a... Read More
If you suffer from insomnia of any kind, the chances... Read More
Everyone knows that stress isn't good - that it can... Read More
David Bowie once sang, "Ch-ch-changes, tryin' to face the strain."And... Read More
Shit happens. I know this to be a fact, because... Read More
It was a self-exploration that made me understand myself. It... Read More
Defending your point of view can use up a lot... Read More
Ask a hundred different people how to deal with stress... Read More
If you've recently experienced loss or are going through a... Read More
1. Determine your "unique ability" and capitalize on itDelegate the... Read More
In these times when companies are constantly down-sizing and right-sizing... Read More
Picture the following scene:It's Sunday evening, the weekend is winding... Read More
Living in our world today can be very stressful. While... Read More
Raise your hand if you have ever been rejected by... Read More
If you have recently lost health insurance coverage through your... Read More
cleaning lady near Arlington Heights ..In his book, The 22 Non-Negotiable Laws of Wellness, author... Read More
Whenever we think of 'stress', negative thoughts come into our... Read More
I am worried. I have been biting my nails for... Read More
What is the greatest fear of man? Is it death?... Read More
It was one of the first words you learned to... Read More
Do you ever fret? In today's materialistic age, sometimes fretting... Read More
Whether we are at work, traveling, or at home, we've... Read More
Don't let stress wear you down. Next time you are... Read More
I learned a valuable lesson recently. A short while ago,... Read More
Genuine enthusiasm...real feeling of accomplishment...sense of satisfaction and fun. Welcome... Read More
Worry, big or small blocks positive vibrations from entering your... Read More
Did you ever feel like your "get-up-and-go" got up and... Read More
We are currently living in a capitalist society where money... Read More
Q: We recently had someone come to our company to... Read More
Several studies, including one of medical students around exam time,... Read More
If you're like most people, you have your bouts of... Read More
I was a psychotherapist for... Read More
A grandfather, whose grandson came to him angry at a... Read More
Have you been feeling so stressful and almost losing your... Read More
1. Determine your "unique ability" and capitalize on itDelegate the... Read More
Perhaps you've heard of the 80/20 rule, but don't know... Read More
Syndicated columnist Dale Dauten recently wrote, "One of life's great... Read More
One of the best ways to relieve yourself from the... Read More
Make stress less of an issue for you in your... Read More
Do you get out of your car with a queasy... Read More
Stress Management |