One of the dumbest things I have ever done is grab a hot iron by the bottom.
We were rushing out of the house for a trip a few years back. The last time I had used it was hours ago that morning, and had left it on the ironing bourd in the bed room. I didn't know Lauren had used it just a moment before.
I've never dropped anything so fast before or since!
Most of you are probably a whole lot smarter than me and have never picked up a hot iron. At the same time, I bet everyone has had the experience of picking up something hot, getting burned, and dropping it right away.
Would it make any sense to keep holding something hot like that? Of course not.
That's why we drop them so quickly.
Then why do we hold on so tightly to hot emotional issues and allow them to keep burning us?
Yet we do it all the time. Something inconvenient, bad, or even traumatic occurs, and we hold on to it for dear life. I've worked with people who had experienced trauma and were doing fairly well not too long after. I've also worked with people who had experienced trauma years and years ago, yet it seemed as if it had just happened.
How to Hold On
Holding on to something that is burning us requires a lot of conscious attention, just like flunking gym class in school. Here's a few "tips" for holding on:
*Play the situation or offense over and over in your mind. Be sure to make a little "mental movie" for your own viewing pleasure.
*Make sure it's the first thing you think of in the morning and the last thing you think of at night.
*Tell everyone who will give you an ear the whole entire story, in play by play detail.
*Make it the defining moment in your life.
*Isolate yourself from other people
*Rant and rave about the injustice and unfairness of it all.
*Look at yourself as a victim.
How to Drop It
Just as holding on to something requires conscious attention, dropping something requires a conscious decision. Here's a few tips for dropping it:
*as stated above, decide to. You must decide to do it before any ot the other tips will work.
*take away from it what you can learn, leave behind anything else.
*find a symbol of the event and burn it, bury it, or both. I know this might sound a little silly, but it works.
*remember the saying "Success comes from good judgement. Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement."
*and perhaps the most important: make a place for it in your life, because it did happen. And then put it in it's place, which is behind you.
Hold on and get burned or drop it and move on. It's a choice.
And it's yours to make.
Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
disinfecting cleaning services Winnetka ..Life is so busy and as mothers we spend so... Read More
Work stress has become a major problem today. The nature... Read More
At what age does the benefit of play cease? Child... Read More
Do you attack problems and solve them or do you... Read More
Workplace stress is on the rise and it's costing corporate... Read More
Author and speaker H. Stephen Glenn has said,"In terms of... Read More
Don't let stress wear you down. Next time you are... Read More
Everywhere I go, I hear the same unpleasant sentence repeated... Read More
We all know what it feels like to have our... Read More
Often, in today's fast paced world, we forget to take... Read More
We are currently living in a capitalist society where money... Read More
"Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into... Read More
We've all been there, right? We find ourselves living with... Read More
Do you ever feel stressed? Is stress a regular component... Read More
I'm so excited that I have discovered this secret today.... Read More
If you find symptoms of anxiety disorder in any of... Read More
This heading may seem like a contradiction in terms. How... Read More
Too much driving, too much shopping, too much rushing around,... Read More
The moment I read the story I'm about to share... Read More
Health Impacts of StressStress is a funny concept, try to... Read More
Imagine driving down the road. You are driving with a... Read More
Stress is defined as a response by your body to... Read More
Training Your Mind For Better Business and LeisureModern life moves... Read More
I recently received this e-mail message about stress management (author... Read More
Did you ever feel like your "get-up-and-go" got up and... Read More
last minute cleaning help Highland Park ..I'm sure you have heard of IBS, irritable bowel syndrome,... Read More
Burt Reynolds revealed his vulnerable side when he realized he... Read More
Picture the following scene:It's Sunday evening, the weekend is winding... Read More
Q: Someone told me that the Chinese symbol for crisis... Read More
One of my favorite stories about change is the story... Read More
We function at our best when we are free from... Read More
When we think about stress in the workplace, we usually... Read More
This anger management Practice draws on the dual wisdom of... Read More
Why do we resist change? As the saying goes, the... Read More
When it is all said and done, do you feel... Read More
If you are an anxiety and panic sufferer, then you've... Read More
One of the hardest forms of stress to avoid is... Read More
Conceptualizing stress: Stress often has a negative connotation. Failure, illnesses,... Read More
Here's an amazing quote from Time magazine:"At birth a baby's... Read More
Are you a person who has a keen imagination, a... Read More
When was the last time you took a day just... Read More
1)Excessive worryNo, I'm not saying "don't worry, be happy."Well-used worry... Read More
Stress is an interpretation of an event or circumstance which... Read More
IntroductionTime magazine called stress the "The Epidemic of the Eighties".... Read More
There is good stress, and there is bad stress. Good... Read More
Quote of the week"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." Leonardo da... Read More
My grandmother, a feisty and athletic woman in her younger... Read More
Many CEOs see stress as an intractable problem which would... Read More
We've all experienced it-computerized technology that doesn't function properly. PCs... Read More
In my experience, most of us spend a lot more... Read More
Stress Management |