Raise your hand if you have ever been rejected by anyone, for anything, at any time. C'mon, be honest.
When I ask this question in seminars, nearly all the people raise their hand, except for those select few who never raise their hand in public no matter what the question.
The bottom line is this:
Every one of us has felt the sting of rejection at some time in our lives. And although rejection can and does hurt, there is an important distinction to be made. Most of the people I have worked with have a more difficult time with the fear of rejection than the rejection itself.
From the teen-age boy who hangs up the phone when the girl answers (did that more than once myself) to the adult afraid to ask for a raise, the fear of rejection stops many people from doing what they want.
When it comes to rejection or the fear of rejection, it's just like many other challenges in life: It's not what happens to you that matters as much as what you do about it. With rejection, we have the choice to either let it define us or refine us. Let's take a closer look at each of these two options.
How we let rejection define us
Believe that FEAR stands for Forget Everything And Run. Most people get rejected once and give up.
Believe that the rejection reflects the sum total of your worth as a person.
After being rejected, never take a risk again.
Play the rejection over and over again in your mind. This helps keep it fresh.
Have a large and ongoing pity party, even though you're the only invited guest.
Take a tip from Rabbit in ``Winnie the Pooh'' and think: ``Why does this always happen to me? Why, oh why, oh why?''
Practice being afraid to ask.
Believe that everyone knows you were rejected and is looking at you and talking about you.
Get stuck. Stay focused on the rejection and never worry about moving forward.
How to use rejection to refine you
Believe that FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Realize that most of what you worry about (false evidence) does not happen.
Take a tip from the world of sales: Studies show that most sales are made not on the first contact, but on the fourth, fifth or sixth contact. Keep swinging.
Keep in mind that just because someone says ``no'' right now, does not necessarily mean the person will say ``no'' in the future. That might happen, and then again, it might not. Ask again.
Learn from the rejection. Focus on how to ask more skillfully, asking the right questions, asking the right person, etc.
Practice the QTIP response to rejection. According to stress management expert Tim O'Brien, QTIP stands for Quit Taking It Personally.
And now, my favorite response to rejection: How would you like a nice four-letter word to use whenever you are rejected?
The next time you're rejected, say loudly to yourself: NEXT!
The power of NEXT! is that it allows you to put the rejection behind you and focus on your present and future goals.
Remember, everyone has been rejected. It's a big club. Whether rejection defines us or refines us is our choice. Which will it be for you?
Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
recurring cleaning service Wilmette ..According to the Australian Council of Trade Unions' (A.C.T.U.) 1997... Read More
When Army leaders fail to control battlefield stress, they lose... Read More
A stressless lifestyle? That's very easy to say. Yet it... Read More
What good is Personal or Business Success...if your Health is... Read More
Stress ReliefStress is a big business in Western society. We... Read More
Make stress less of an issue for you in your... Read More
Q:We recently had someone come to our company to talk... Read More
There are many kinds of daily grinds. In the U.S.... Read More
Of all the sources of stress in our lives, faulty... Read More
If you find symptoms of anxiety disorder in any of... Read More
Workplace stress is on the rise and it's costing corporate... Read More
With almost 50% of workers complaining that their jobs are... Read More
Imagine driving down the road. You are driving with a... Read More
Why are you so busy? Do you really have too... Read More
Among the hardest parts of living in the modern world... Read More
One of the hardest forms of stress to avoid is... Read More
Author and speaker H. Stephen Glenn has said,"In terms of... Read More
There may be so much you want to change in... Read More
IntroductionTime magazine called stress the "The Epidemic of the Eighties".... Read More
The National Center for health statistics reported that in 1997,... Read More
Looking for all of the answers in how to manage... Read More
10 Ways to Monitor Corporate Stress LevelsGood military leaders work... Read More
Lake Hopatcong, NJ (PRWEB) November 30, 2004 -- Here are... Read More
The moment I read the story I'm about to share... Read More
Positive self-esteem is very important for our general health and... Read More
reliable maid service Morton Grove ..Q: "My career, though very very stressful, is one that... Read More
Mark Twain once said, "It's not what we don't know... Read More
Today's workplace produces plenty of stress. Life's little hassles mount... Read More
Have you been feeling so stressful and almost losing your... Read More
Stress affects different people in different ways, but affect them... Read More
If you're like most people, you have your bouts of... Read More
I hope by reading this article you will see the... Read More
Do you have the desire for a stress free life?... Read More
Understanding StressStress has been called "the invisible disease". It is... Read More
David Bowie once sang, "Ch-ch-changes, tryin' to face the strain."And... Read More
"Watch your language."We all heard this admonition as kids and... Read More
You probably think I'm wacko, but it's true - stress... Read More
Adversity is an unavoidable part of life. Death of a... Read More
This summer, get away, without going away. Take a mini... Read More
On a beautiful summer day years ago, I went water... Read More
Author and speaker H. Stephen Glenn has said,"In terms of... Read More
The moment I read the story I'm about to share... Read More
Genuine enthusiasm...real feeling of accomplishment...sense of satisfaction and fun. Welcome... Read More
While free-lancing for business magazines, I was assigned to write... Read More
Stress, America's #1 health problem, is a leading cause of... Read More
Amazing thing, overwhelm!You don't usually see it coming. It just... Read More
Stress is amazingly persistent, even seductive. We get used to... Read More
10 Ways to Monitor Corporate Stress LevelsGood military leaders work... Read More
We function at our best when we are free from... Read More
For those who are suffering from stress, just about the... Read More
Stress Management |