Home
>
Stress Management
>
Stress Management: How to Handle Rejection - The Power of NEXT

Stress Management: How to Handle Rejection - The Power of NEXT

Raise your hand if you have ever been rejected by anyone, for anything, at any time. C'mon, be honest.

When I ask this question in seminars, nearly all the people raise their hand, except for those select few who never raise their hand in public no matter what the question.

The bottom line is this:

Every one of us has felt the sting of rejection at some time in our lives. And although rejection can and does hurt, there is an important distinction to be made. Most of the people I have worked with have a more difficult time with the fear of rejection than the rejection itself.

From the teen-age boy who hangs up the phone when the girl answers (did that more than once myself) to the adult afraid to ask for a raise, the fear of rejection stops many people from doing what they want.

When it comes to rejection or the fear of rejection, it's just like many other challenges in life: It's not what happens to you that matters as much as what you do about it. With rejection, we have the choice to either let it define us or refine us. Let's take a closer look at each of these two options.

How we let rejection define us

Believe that FEAR stands for Forget Everything And Run. Most people get rejected once and give up.

Believe that the rejection reflects the sum total of your worth as a person.

After being rejected, never take a risk again.

Play the rejection over and over again in your mind. This helps keep it fresh.

Have a large and ongoing pity party, even though you're the only invited guest.

Take a tip from Rabbit in ``Winnie the Pooh'' and think: ``Why does this always happen to me? Why, oh why, oh why?''

Practice being afraid to ask.

Believe that everyone knows you were rejected and is looking at you and talking about you.

Get stuck. Stay focused on the rejection and never worry about moving forward.

How to use rejection to refine you

Believe that FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Realize that most of what you worry about (false evidence) does not happen.

Take a tip from the world of sales: Studies show that most sales are made not on the first contact, but on the fourth, fifth or sixth contact. Keep swinging.

Keep in mind that just because someone says ``no'' right now, does not necessarily mean the person will say ``no'' in the future. That might happen, and then again, it might not. Ask again.

Learn from the rejection. Focus on how to ask more skillfully, asking the right questions, asking the right person, etc.

Practice the QTIP response to rejection. According to stress management expert Tim O'Brien, QTIP stands for Quit Taking It Personally.

And now, my favorite response to rejection: How would you like a nice four-letter word to use whenever you are rejected?

The next time you're rejected, say loudly to yourself: NEXT!

The power of NEXT! is that it allows you to put the rejection behind you and focus on your present and future goals.

Remember, everyone has been rejected. It's a big club. Whether rejection defines us or refines us is our choice. Which will it be for you?

Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

car service from Midway Burlington .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says a malware app called SpyLend is posing as a financial tool, hitting 100,000-plus downloads.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says Clone Robotics’ Protoclone mimics humans with 1,000 muscles – too human for comfort.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson urges you to use Apple’s App Privacy Report to see what your apps are really up to.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about how to smoothly transfer your data from an old laptop to a new one using cloud storage or external drives.

Kurt the CyberGuy offers tips to safeguard your personal information as scammers become more sophisticated with scam texts and other methods.

WeRide's unmanned electric delivery van, the Robovan W5, has 194 cubic feet of cargo space and can carry payloads up to about 2,205 pounds

Kurt the CyberGuy recommends deleting 16 browser extensions immediately in response to a report saying more than 3.2 million web users were affected by a security breach.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

A robotics firm in China claims a robot has performed the world's first humanoid robot front flip, which is significantly more difficult than a backflip.

A digital ID may be even more secure than a physical ID. Storing your driver's license in your Apple Wallet is an ideal solution for commuters.

A cybersecurity firm has shed some light on just how common tax scams have become. Kurt the CyberGuy offers his advice for how to protect your refund.

Lifesize Plans offers immersive walk-throughs that allow customers the opportunity to tour a home's design before construction actually begins.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

A man invested $4 million in bitcoin and lost it all with a single click when he was targeted by a vishing scam, which uses phone calls to trick people.

Expandable's Touchdown is a designer trailer that promises a luxury off-grid living experience and unfolds into a home in about 15 minutes.

Major employee screening company data breach affects 3.3 million people. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson explains what happened and gives five ways to protect your data.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals mind-blowing tech that gives you sunlight on demand.

New malware "FrigidStealer" targets Mac computers. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers four ways to stay safe from infostealer malware.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about how lab-grown muscles power a biohybrid hand for scalable prosthetics and research.

Reports of task scams have significantly risen in the past four years, according to the Federal Trade Commission. Kurt the CyberGuy offers some red flags.

iPhones have a hidden folder that eats up storage without you knowing it. Kurt the CyberGuy offers some tricks to free up storage on your device.

A recent ransomeware attack targeted Zacks, an American investment firm, and a cybercriminal claimed to have stolen records for millions of customers.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Researchers unveiled a new soft prosthetic hand that combines the natural coordination patterns of our fingers with the decoding of motoneuron activity in the spinal column.

Accidentally deleting a text message on your iPhone or iPad is not a problem if you still need the message. Apple has a built-in way to recover it.