Here's a fun little experiment:
Take a few seconds and look around you, noticing and focusing on everything you see that is blue. Just look around and notice everything that is blue.
Now close your eyes, and tell me everything you noticed that is green.
Threw you a bit of a curve ball there, didn't I?
If you are like most folks, you were expecting me to ask you to name everything that was blue. Instead I asked for something different from which you had focused on.
Here's an interesting fact from the world of race car driving:
As I understand it, when new drivers are learning how to race, one of the first things they're taught is what to focus on when they go into a spin.
The natural tendency is for them to focus on the wall they're trying to avoid hitting - and they usually end up hitting the wall. They are taught instead not to focus on the wall, but on where they want to go. In this way, they have a better chance of avoiding the wall and successfully getting out of the spin.
The exercise and story both point to the incredible power of focus in our lives. Wherever we place our focus, the rest of our mind and emotions will follow.
So how do we learn how to do this focus stuff?
One of the quickest ways to begin to strengthen your focus muscles is to practice the 5-percent/95-percent rule. That means to focus no more than 5 percent on what you don't want and 95 percent on what you do want.
Focus 5 percent on what you fear and 95 percent on getting educated and skilled to face it.
Did you know that we all have fears? Even people who appear to fear nothing. The trick is not to have no fear but to work at becoming strong and skilled enough to face and conquer your fears.
Focus 5 percent on the problem and 95 percent on the healthiest solution.
Often it's easy to get caught in the endless definition and redefinition of a problem. "What's the problem?" is the wrong question. A better question is: "How many different solutions can we create?"
Focus 5 percent on the mistake and 95 percent on learning from it.
There's a wonderful story about a new employee of a large corporation who makes a $10,000 mistake in his first week on the job. Upon being called into the CEO's office at the end of the day, he tells his boss that he realizes he will be fired and that he is sorry for the mistake. To which the CEO replies, "Fire you? No way. I just spent $10,000 training you." I bet he became a valuable employee.
Focus 5 percent on who to blame and 95 percent on making sure to heal.
Getting stuck in blame sets you up to be lame. Focusing on healing allows you to move on with your life.
Focus 5 percent on the conflict and 95 percent on the win-win-win resolution.
Conflict, especially in families, does not always have to be a win-lose situation. In any conflict, each side has needs. The question is what kind of solution can be found that meets as many of each person's needs as possible.
Focus 5 percent on what you must do and 95 percent on enjoying the process of it.
"I have to," "I've got to," "I wish I didn't have to" are all phrases that focus on having to do things we don't want to do. Better words that shift your focus would be: "How can I get all this done and enjoy the process?"
Finally, and most important:
Focus 5 percent on reading this 95 percent on applying it.
When you drive, your car follows your nose.
When you live, your life follows your focus. Where's your focus
Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
elite cleaning services Mundelein ..Panic.Heart racing. Palms sweating. Breathing rapid and shallow. Mouth dry.... Read More
It's summertime and chances are you can remember a summer... Read More
Loneliness and separation are the real illness of our times.... Read More
There is one sure fire medicine that cures all difficulty... Read More
Stress is amazingly persistent, even seductive. We get used to... Read More
Among the hardest parts of living in the modern world... Read More
Fear, and its accompanying seriousness, causes our suffering. Fear restricts... Read More
Many of my readers write to me about the tensions... Read More
So many of us live a stressful life. Unfortunately, when... Read More
At what age does the benefit of play cease? Child... Read More
Several studies, including one of medical students around exam time,... Read More
Today's workplace produces plenty of stress. Life's little hassles mount... Read More
Amazing thing, overwhelm!You don't usually see it coming. It just... Read More
Q. Help! I moved from the Dallas to Denver. I... Read More
Shit happens. I know this to be a fact, because... Read More
I'm sure you have heard of IBS, irritable bowel syndrome,... Read More
Q. So many times in my life, I seem to... Read More
For those who are suffering from stress, just about the... Read More
All people experience stress and anxiety in one form or... Read More
Breathing is the vital force of life. It is considered... Read More
What is Stress?Stress may be defined as the three-way relationship... Read More
Why Stress Management programmes don't work?It seems that every week... Read More
To be a safe and predictable person for those around... Read More
Stress, America's #1 health problem, is a leading cause of... Read More
Stress is the nastiest 4 letter word you ever met.... Read More
Airbnb cleaning service Mundelein ..In the fast-paced world that we live in today, it... Read More
Writing down our thoughts and feelings, as in keeping a... Read More
Success in recovery, or rather, staying in recovery, is dependent... Read More
1. The Law of GiftsRichard Bach, author of "Illusions" says... Read More
The number one most popular issue that users of a... Read More
On a beautiful summer day years ago, I went water... Read More
Stress is more than just unpleasant. It's dangerous. Try these... Read More
Too much driving, too much shopping, too much rushing around,... Read More
The United Nations declares workplace stress to be a worldwide... Read More
Here's an amazing quote from Time magazine:"At birth a baby's... Read More
In the body, the stress response is mediated by the... Read More
Breathing is the vital force of life. It is considered... Read More
In a recent CMA survey of 2251 physicians, over 45%... Read More
What part of no don't you understand? - Bumper stickerThe... Read More
It was a self-exploration that made me understand myself. It... Read More
Do you have the desire for a stress free life?... Read More
Burt Reynolds revealed his vulnerable side when he realized he... Read More
Do you worry all the time?Do the following symptoms bother... Read More
1) Create the life you desireTwo of our most underdeveloped... Read More
Have you ever considered sewing a handbag as an act... Read More
CHICAGO - According to a recent article in the September... Read More
10 Ways to Monitor Corporate Stress LevelsGood military leaders work... Read More
1. The Law of StagnationThis is also known as first... Read More
It is no secret that stress and related disorders are... Read More
If you suffer from insomnia of any kind, the chances... Read More
Stress Management |