Adversity is an unavoidable part of life. Death of a loved one, breakup of a relationship, malicious action by another, job loss, natural disaster, or any other undesirable event are all circumstances people encounter. Events happen that are beyond our control.
Successfully overcoming adversity is essential for a healthy life. Overcoming adversity builds mental strength, character and endurance. You develop in ways that would not otherwise be possible.
When undesirable incidents occur, you want to avoid the pitfall of the past and becoming mired in the would of, could of, or should of trap. It's done and over. Adversity is overcome by moving forward.
Nothing you can do, say, think or feel will ever change the past. Wallowing in feelings of guilt, regret or despair will diminish the present and compromise the future. Although it's difficult to accept unpleasant events, you have no choice, they have already occurred. The goal is to adjust your outlook to enable you to function and move ahead.
Adverse reactions are not unusual when faced with adversity. Feelings of denial, sickness, giving up, retribution, being overwhelmed, inactivity, anger, guilt, and "why me" are not uncommon. These reactions are counter-productive causing you to feel worse. Anger or bitterness poisons you and impedes your recovery.
You have control over your reaction to adversity. You have been conditioned by how others respond to unpleasant circumstances. However, most people aren't a good role model for effectively dealing with adversity.
Adverse situations can be divided into three categories; events you have no control or influence over, situations resulting from decisions you made, and circumstances caused by someone else's actions. Effort spent on lamenting the past drains you of energy needed to handle the present and plan for the future. Your energy is best spent ensuring that you will be OK.
After experiencing a loss, a period of grieving is normal but should not become a way of life. Everything in life is temporary. What varies is the timing. As much as you may miss someone, there are people who depend on and need you. Focusing on the needs of others is an effective and positive way to move forward.
Perhaps you are unhappy with the results from your decisions. Everyone makes bad calls. There are no "do-overs" -- life goes on. How do you get back on track? Learn from your experiences and keep going. Inaction will cause you to feel worse.
Channeling your energy into positive action is one of the best cures for being disheartened. For example, if you've lost a job, immediately begin the process of getting another one. No matter how bad unemployment is, the odds are always weighted heavily in your favor. Even if the unemployment rate was an astronomical 15% you have an 85% chance of finding a job.
If a relationship has ended without any chance of reconciliation, take comfort in the fact that there are numerous people in the same boat. Get out, circulate, and meet people.
If you've made a bad decision and are unhappy with your circumstances, resolve to change direction. Effecting a correction can be difficult, but persisting in an unhappy state is torture.
Everyone encounters adversity. No one is ever singled out. No one knows why some things happen, they just do. Some decide to regain their footing, catch their breath and keep walking forward. Others choose to give up.
Each time you overcome adversity you get stronger and wiser and can teach others by example how to do it also.
copyright 2005 Bryan Golden
Bryan Golden is a self-development and motivational expert, author, and adjunct professor. He is the author of "Dare to Live Without Limits," and writes a nationally syndicated newspaper column. For more information please visit: http://www.daretolivewithoutlimits.com or http://www.daretolivewithoutlimits.com
no-contract cleaning service Des Plaines ..Life would be so wonderful if it weren't for other... Read More
David Bowie once sang, "Ch-ch-changes, tryin' to face the strain."And... Read More
At what age does the benefit of play cease? Child... Read More
To be a safe and predictable person for those around... Read More
There is good stress, and there is bad stress. Good... Read More
This is the time for daydreaming about your annual vacation.... Read More
Author and speaker H. Stephen Glenn has said,"In terms of... Read More
"Watch your language."We all heard this admonition as kids and... Read More
My first real job (schedule, time clock, paycheck, boss) was... Read More
When was the last time that you truly took a... Read More
ResentmentsA wise friend once said that holding onto resentments is... Read More
Positive self-esteem is very important for our general health and... Read More
1. The Law of StagnationThis is also known as first... Read More
I'm so excited that I have discovered this secret today.... Read More
Is your stress level higher than it should be? Are... Read More
When September rolls around, does it generally hit you like... Read More
Burt Reynolds revealed his vulnerable side when he realized he... Read More
"The great lesson from the true mystics, from the Zen... Read More
One of the dumbest things I have ever done is... Read More
In his book, The 22 Non-Negotiable Laws of Wellness, author... Read More
Have you been feeling so stressful and almost losing your... Read More
So, you've recognised that you are suffering from stress and... Read More
If you're like most people, you have your bouts of... Read More
Rhodiola Rosea is the latest natural remedy to join the... Read More
It's summertime and chances are you can remember a summer... Read More
bathroom cleaning service Lake Forest ..The predominant role human conditioning plays in a stressful environment.... Read More
I am worried. I have been biting my nails for... Read More
Why Stress Management programmes don't work?It seems that every week... Read More
Q: We recently had someone come to our company to... Read More
For those of you who have been living in a... Read More
Do you feel tense and anxious at work? Do your... Read More
Matthew 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labour... Read More
I love a good story and I know I'm not... Read More
Most humans experience unexpected setbacks which can cause huge stress... Read More
What good is Personal or Business Success...if your Health is... Read More
Whether we are at work, traveling, or at home, we've... Read More
If you suffer from insomnia of any kind, the chances... Read More
Everyday can be full of stress but we all deserve... Read More
According to the Australian Council of Trade Unions' (A.C.T.U.) 1997... Read More
Stress. The word brings to mind many different definitions doesn't... Read More
"Let your mind be quiet, realizing the beauty of the... Read More
Seventy-five percent of all our problems ? both emotional and... Read More
In these times when companies are constantly down-sizing and right-sizing... Read More
Genuine enthusiasm...real feeling of accomplishment...sense of satisfaction and fun. Welcome... Read More
Is your in-tray or inbox full? I don't normally check... Read More
Who hasn't experienced "worry" at one time or another? Almost... Read More
Q. I wonder if you could help me with a... Read More
Stress, America's #1 health problem, is a leading cause of... Read More
Every woman needs her own personal space for relaxation, not... Read More
Stress is more than just unpleasant. It's dangerous. Try these... Read More
Stress Management |