Adversity is an unavoidable part of life. Death of a loved one, breakup of a relationship, malicious action by another, job loss, natural disaster, or any other undesirable event are all circumstances people encounter. Events happen that are beyond our control.
Successfully overcoming adversity is essential for a healthy life. Overcoming adversity builds mental strength, character and endurance. You develop in ways that would not otherwise be possible.
When undesirable incidents occur, you want to avoid the pitfall of the past and becoming mired in the would of, could of, or should of trap. It's done and over. Adversity is overcome by moving forward.
Nothing you can do, say, think or feel will ever change the past. Wallowing in feelings of guilt, regret or despair will diminish the present and compromise the future. Although it's difficult to accept unpleasant events, you have no choice, they have already occurred. The goal is to adjust your outlook to enable you to function and move ahead.
Adverse reactions are not unusual when faced with adversity. Feelings of denial, sickness, giving up, retribution, being overwhelmed, inactivity, anger, guilt, and "why me" are not uncommon. These reactions are counter-productive causing you to feel worse. Anger or bitterness poisons you and impedes your recovery.
You have control over your reaction to adversity. You have been conditioned by how others respond to unpleasant circumstances. However, most people aren't a good role model for effectively dealing with adversity.
Adverse situations can be divided into three categories; events you have no control or influence over, situations resulting from decisions you made, and circumstances caused by someone else's actions. Effort spent on lamenting the past drains you of energy needed to handle the present and plan for the future. Your energy is best spent ensuring that you will be OK.
After experiencing a loss, a period of grieving is normal but should not become a way of life. Everything in life is temporary. What varies is the timing. As much as you may miss someone, there are people who depend on and need you. Focusing on the needs of others is an effective and positive way to move forward.
Perhaps you are unhappy with the results from your decisions. Everyone makes bad calls. There are no "do-overs" -- life goes on. How do you get back on track? Learn from your experiences and keep going. Inaction will cause you to feel worse.
Channeling your energy into positive action is one of the best cures for being disheartened. For example, if you've lost a job, immediately begin the process of getting another one. No matter how bad unemployment is, the odds are always weighted heavily in your favor. Even if the unemployment rate was an astronomical 15% you have an 85% chance of finding a job.
If a relationship has ended without any chance of reconciliation, take comfort in the fact that there are numerous people in the same boat. Get out, circulate, and meet people.
If you've made a bad decision and are unhappy with your circumstances, resolve to change direction. Effecting a correction can be difficult, but persisting in an unhappy state is torture.
Everyone encounters adversity. No one is ever singled out. No one knows why some things happen, they just do. Some decide to regain their footing, catch their breath and keep walking forward. Others choose to give up.
Each time you overcome adversity you get stronger and wiser and can teach others by example how to do it also.
copyright 2005 Bryan Golden
Bryan Golden is a self-development and motivational expert, author, and adjunct professor. He is the author of "Dare to Live Without Limits," and writes a nationally syndicated newspaper column. For more information please visit: http://www.daretolivewithoutlimits.com or http://www.daretolivewithoutlimits.com
tidy up service Northbrook ..Work stress has become a major problem today. The nature... Read More
I once worked with a woman whose zest,joy and enthusiasm... Read More
The fall season signals a shift in most people's minds.... Read More
Many of my readers write to me about the tensions... Read More
A little stress is good for us until it becomes... Read More
The future is nothing but a fantasy or a daydream,... Read More
One question that is not asked enough by people under... Read More
The right amount of stress can be good for you,... Read More
Do you often overreact to situations? Are you a constant... Read More
Learning methods of stress elimination is a vital skill in... Read More
This is a tool to measure the amount of stress... Read More
Most of us lead busy lives, trying to successfully juggle... Read More
The best way to reduce your stress is to really... Read More
Picture the following scene:It's Sunday evening, the weekend is winding... Read More
Stress is normal. Stress is OK. Stress is the same... Read More
Don't wait to have a life-threatening disease to learn what... Read More
1. Determine your "unique ability" and capitalize on itDelegate the... Read More
All people experience stress and anxiety in one form or... Read More
Do you get frustrated with your spouse, your kids, your... Read More
One of the dumbest things I have ever done is... Read More
Success in recovery, or rather, staying in recovery, is dependent... Read More
Loneliness and separation are the real illness of our times.... Read More
Don't let stress wear you down. Next time you are... Read More
There are many kinds of daily grinds. In the U.S.... Read More
When we think about stress in the workplace, we usually... Read More
reliable home cleaners Buffalo Grove ..My first real job (schedule, time clock, paycheck, boss) was... Read More
There are times in every person's life when things do... Read More
Q. Help! I moved from the Dallas to Denver. I... Read More
Raise your hand if you have ever been rejected by... Read More
Burt Reynolds revealed his vulnerable side when he realized he... Read More
Do you often overreact to situations? Are you a constant... Read More
Did you ever feel like your "get-up-and-go" got up and... Read More
Many people recognise the warning signs that stress may be... Read More
If you've recently experienced loss or are going through a... Read More
Author and speaker H. Stephen Glenn has said,"In terms of... Read More
If you have recently lost health insurance coverage through your... Read More
These days, when people have become so conscious about what... Read More
The Problem You don't need me to tell you how... Read More
One of the best ways to combat stress and depression... Read More
Life can offer us many challenges having to do with... Read More
The fall season signals a shift in most people's minds.... Read More
One of the ways I have avoided a lot of... Read More
Worry, big or small blocks positive vibrations from entering your... Read More
Amazing thing, overwhelm!You don't usually see it coming. It just... Read More
The fast pace of life is taking toll on every... Read More
The main problem in a down economy is that workplaces... Read More
Today's workplace produces plenty of stress. Life's little hassles mount... Read More
26 ways to minimize and manage the unhealthy effects of... Read More
I hope by reading this article you will see the... Read More
Who hasn't experienced "worry" at one time or another? Almost... Read More
Stress Management |