Adversity is an unavoidable part of life. Death of a loved one, breakup of a relationship, malicious action by another, job loss, natural disaster, or any other undesirable event are all circumstances people encounter. Events happen that are beyond our control.
Successfully overcoming adversity is essential for a healthy life. Overcoming adversity builds mental strength, character and endurance. You develop in ways that would not otherwise be possible.
When undesirable incidents occur, you want to avoid the pitfall of the past and becoming mired in the would of, could of, or should of trap. It's done and over. Adversity is overcome by moving forward.
Nothing you can do, say, think or feel will ever change the past. Wallowing in feelings of guilt, regret or despair will diminish the present and compromise the future. Although it's difficult to accept unpleasant events, you have no choice, they have already occurred. The goal is to adjust your outlook to enable you to function and move ahead.
Adverse reactions are not unusual when faced with adversity. Feelings of denial, sickness, giving up, retribution, being overwhelmed, inactivity, anger, guilt, and "why me" are not uncommon. These reactions are counter-productive causing you to feel worse. Anger or bitterness poisons you and impedes your recovery.
You have control over your reaction to adversity. You have been conditioned by how others respond to unpleasant circumstances. However, most people aren't a good role model for effectively dealing with adversity.
Adverse situations can be divided into three categories; events you have no control or influence over, situations resulting from decisions you made, and circumstances caused by someone else's actions. Effort spent on lamenting the past drains you of energy needed to handle the present and plan for the future. Your energy is best spent ensuring that you will be OK.
After experiencing a loss, a period of grieving is normal but should not become a way of life. Everything in life is temporary. What varies is the timing. As much as you may miss someone, there are people who depend on and need you. Focusing on the needs of others is an effective and positive way to move forward.
Perhaps you are unhappy with the results from your decisions. Everyone makes bad calls. There are no "do-overs" -- life goes on. How do you get back on track? Learn from your experiences and keep going. Inaction will cause you to feel worse.
Channeling your energy into positive action is one of the best cures for being disheartened. For example, if you've lost a job, immediately begin the process of getting another one. No matter how bad unemployment is, the odds are always weighted heavily in your favor. Even if the unemployment rate was an astronomical 15% you have an 85% chance of finding a job.
If a relationship has ended without any chance of reconciliation, take comfort in the fact that there are numerous people in the same boat. Get out, circulate, and meet people.
If you've made a bad decision and are unhappy with your circumstances, resolve to change direction. Effecting a correction can be difficult, but persisting in an unhappy state is torture.
Everyone encounters adversity. No one is ever singled out. No one knows why some things happen, they just do. Some decide to regain their footing, catch their breath and keep walking forward. Others choose to give up.
Each time you overcome adversity you get stronger and wiser and can teach others by example how to do it also.
copyright 2005 Bryan Golden
Bryan Golden is a self-development and motivational expert, author, and adjunct professor. He is the author of "Dare to Live Without Limits," and writes a nationally syndicated newspaper column. For more information please visit: http://www.daretolivewithoutlimits.com or http://www.daretolivewithoutlimits.com
disinfecting cleaning services Winnetka ..We are currently living in a capitalist society where money... Read More
Of all the sources of stress in our lives, faulty... Read More
It was one of the first words you learned to... Read More
When I pay attention, I clearly see the arresting ways... Read More
Is your in-tray or inbox full? I don't normally check... Read More
Do you get frustrated with your spouse, your kids, your... Read More
In the body, the stress response is mediated by the... Read More
Stress is normal. Stress is OK. Stress is the same... Read More
If there was a way of relaxing quickly and easily... Read More
I hear from many people that they see ever increasing... Read More
Q: Someone told me that the Chinese symbol for crisis... Read More
Part 1: Recognize the importance of family stress managementJoe and... Read More
Learning methods of stress elimination is a vital skill in... Read More
I learned a valuable lesson recently. A short while ago,... Read More
How much attention is paid to one of the biggest... Read More
When we think about stress in the workplace, we usually... Read More
A friend has this quotation on his office wall: "I... Read More
David Bowie once sang, "Ch-ch-changes, tryin' to face the strain."And... Read More
Statistics tell us that more people have migraine headaches on... Read More
Health Impacts of StressStress is a funny concept, try to... Read More
Breathing is the vital force of life. It is considered... Read More
Meditation seems to have arrived in the mainstream of late,... Read More
If you find symptoms of anxiety disorder in any of... Read More
Do you feel that you just don't have the time... Read More
Many people recognise the warning signs that stress may be... Read More
last minute cleaning help Highland Park ..CHICAGO - According to a recent article in the September... Read More
Why Stress Management programmes don't work?It seems that every week... Read More
Anyone who has ever worked knows that stress is part... Read More
Have you ever listened to someone, perhaps even to your... Read More
Imagine driving down the road. You are driving with a... Read More
Insomnia is usually the result of the modern way of... Read More
Q: We recently had someone come to our company to... Read More
David Bowie once sang, "Ch-ch-changes, tryin' to face the strain."And... Read More
Do you often overreact to situations? Are you a constant... Read More
Here's an amazing quote from Time magazine:"At birth a baby's... Read More
If you've recently experienced loss or are going through a... Read More
You probably think I'm wacko, but it's true - stress... Read More
26 ways to minimize and manage the unhealthy effects of... Read More
* Play Romane's stress control seminar recordings, and read "The... Read More
When something happens in our lives, we automatically assess the... Read More
Q. I've been told that I need to learn from... Read More
When September rolls around, does it generally hit you like... Read More
There may be so much you want to change in... Read More
Do you ever fret? In today's materialistic age, sometimes fretting... Read More
Think back a few years to the nine coal miners... Read More
Stress, America's #1 health problem, is a leading cause of... Read More
Do you feel tense and anxious at work? Do your... Read More
Meditation seems to have arrived in the mainstream of late,... Read More
Among the hardest parts of living in the modern world... Read More
To combat modern day stressors, you need to realize that... Read More
Stress Management |