Home
>
Stress Management
>
Stress Management: Problem Land or Solution Land

Stress Management: Problem Land or Solution Land

In my experience, most of us spend a lot more time living in problem land, griping and complaining, than we do in solution land, working hard and enjoying solving problems.

It's almost become a national past time. Just check out a talk show or a self help book. Almost all the time and space is spent describing, giving examples, and complaining about the problem, with, if we're lucky, only a glimpse at possible solutions.

Drives me nuts.

Having said all that, let's look at some signs and symptoms of problem land and some signs and solutions for solution land.

How to Live in Problem Land

Complain. A lot. Raise it to an art form.

When something goes wrong, immediately look for someone to blame.

A cousin to the one above, when something goes wrong, take no responsibility for changing things.

Keep a working list of all offenses ever done to you, and bring them up when anything bad happens.

Spend 95% of your time focusing on and complaining about the problem, and only 5% on working toward a solution. This my biggest gripe with most self-help books.

Make lots of disempowering, self-defeating statements, such as: "This isn't fair." "This shouldn't be happening" "This isn't my fault"

Follow this up with disempowering, self-defeating questions, such as: "Why is the world out to get me?" "Why doesn't God like me?"

Or as Rabbit says in Winnie the Pooh, "Why does this always happen to me? Why, oh why, oh why?"

All of above factors keep your focus on the problem instead of the solution. At best, you may be able to get someone to feel sorry for you, and at worst, you stay stuck in the problem.

How to Live in Solution Land

Number one rule. When problems arise (and they will), look for solutions. In the movie "Rising Sun", actor Sean Connery has this great line, "In America, when something goes wrong, we look for someone to blame. In Japan, when something goes wrong, they look for solutions."

Consider this quote from Richard Bach, author of "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah.": "There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in it's hands. We seek problems because we need their gifts."

Ask questions that lead to action, such as: "How can I make this work for me?" "What might be the gift for me in this problem?"

Spend no more that 5% of your time and energy complaining about the problem, and 95% of your time and energy creatively solving the problem.

Consider these solutions oriented questions from motivational expert Tony Robbins:

What's not perfect yet?

What's good about this problem? If you can't think of anything good, ask "If there was something good about this, what would it be?" What am I willing to do to solve this problem?

What am I willing to no longer do to solve this problem?

What actions can I take that will help me solve this problem and enjoy the process?

"There is a time in the life of every problem when it is big enough to notice and small enough to solve quickly." Attack problems early and head on, before they have a chance to grow.

I'll close with a fantastic quote from W. Mitchell, one to live by: "It's not what happens to us in life that makes the difference. It's what we do about it." In other words, we have the power of choice. Problem land or solution land, which will it be for you?

Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

professional maid services Glencoe ..

In The News:

Cybersecurity expert shares six essential steps to protect against dark web threats, including data removal services, password managers and antivirus software.

NVIDIA GPU space mission could revolutionize cloud services by enabling orbital data centers that make apps, games and AI tools faster and more efficient.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Microsoft warns Windows 10 users face serious security risks as 90% of ransomware attacks target unsupported systems. Learn why upgrading to Windows 11 is crucial.

Nike unveils Project Amplify, revolutionary motorized shoes developed with Dephy that add powered assistance to every step for runners and walkers.

Cybersecurity experts warn about one of the largest credential compilations ever found, urging users to check "Have I Been Pwned" and change passwords immediately.

Quick iPhone and Android battery optimization techniques help your device stay powered all day by turning off hidden features that secretly drain power in the background.

Kodiak Driver autonomous truck achieves perfect 98 safety score, matching top human fleets in groundbreaking AI evaluation by Nauto's VERA system.

New 401k catch-up contribution rules in 2026 will change taxes for high earners over 50. Learn how scammers exploit these changes and protect your retirement savings.

Kurt Knutsson's guide covers social media privacy protection through location settings, account privacy controls and two-factor authentication to prevent scams and data breaches.

Revolutionary retinal implant restores central vision in 80% of patients with advanced macular degeneration, offering hope where treatments once only slowed blindness.

Learn how to use passkeys on Windows and Mac computers without cameras or fingerprint readers. Discover secure authentication methods that replace passwords.

Tesla's FSD v14.1.2 update reintroduces Mad Max mode, enabling higher speeds and more frequent lane changes than the standard Hurry profile setting.

A phishing email scam targeting American Express customers shows how cybercriminals use fake urgent messages to steal personal and financial information.

Facebook's new Meta AI feature analyzes your camera roll photos to create polished collages automatically, but requires cloud processing and raises privacy concerns.

A New Jersey teenager filed a major lawsuit against AI/Robotics Venture Strategy 3 Ltd. over ClothOff, an AI tool that created fake nude images from her social media photos.

Microsoft reports Storm-2657 cybercriminals sent phishing emails to 6,000 addresses at 25 universities to steal payroll credentials and redirect funds.

Astronomers have discovered asteroid 2025 SC79, a skyscraper-sized space rock orbiting the sun in just 128 days. the second-fastest known.

The Fox News AI Newsletter delivers the latest developments form the world of artificial intelligence, including the technology's challenges and opportunities.

A cyberattack on SimonMed Imaging exposed personal information of 1.2 million patients, including medical records, financial details and identity papers.

Spotify's managed accounts for kids under 13 now available in at least seven countries, allowing parents to filter and block explicit content and songs.

Friendly text conversations about BBQs and social events can lead to WEEX gold trading scams that target older adults with fake investment opportunities.

California company Skyeports creates self-healing glass spheres from Moon regolith that generate solar power and support plant growth for sustainable lunar living.

Cleafy researchers discover fake VPN streaming app Mobdro Pro that installs Klopatra banking Trojan, giving attackers full control over Android devices.

Police departments across the U.S. and Canada are adopting virtual reality training to better prepare officers for high-pressure, real-world situations.