A grandfather, whose grandson came to him angry at a schoolmate who had done him an injustice, said,
"I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those who have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down and doesn't hurt your enemy. It's like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die.
"I have struggled with these feelings many times," he continued. "It is as if there are two wolves inside me: One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and doesn't take offense when no offense was intended. He will fight only when it is right to do so and in the right way. But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The smallest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."
The boy looked intently into his grandfather's eyes and asked
"Which one wins?"
The grandfather solemnly replied
"The one I feed."
Anger is human
Anger is a naturally ocurring emotion that in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing. It's what we do with our anger that makes the difference.
We can either feed it and make it worse, or we can work with it and handle it in a way that makes healthy sense. It's always a choice. .
How to feed anger
Play the blame game.
Finding, placing and dramatizing blame is one of the greatest sources of creating and feeding anger. Blame talks like this,
"It's someone else's fault. He should not have done it, and I must make him pay for it."
One of the many downsides of this is that the blame game takes so much time and energy, leaving you with little for the rest of your life.
Play the enflame game.
Once you are angry, you have two choices: Defuse your anger or enflame it. The danger with enflaming your anger is that it quickly becomes a habit and you forget it's a choice.
Enflaming requires nurturing anger by running the injustice over and over in your mind. Another way to do this is to tell as many people as you can about how you feel until you get a number of folks on your side. They become assistant enflamers.
Blaming and enflaming fit dangerously well. The more you blame, the more enflamed you become. The more enflamed you become, the more you find to blame.
How to feed healthy feelings
Play the diffuse game.
Pausing to ask yourself a few questions helps reduce anger. For example: How much do I enjoy this feeling? How strongly do I want to feel this anger? How long do I want to feel it?
Anger can prevent us from thinking. Pausing long enough to answer these questions allows you to re-engage your brain and decide how you want to handle your anger.
Accept that not everything in life can or needs to be set right.
Many times when we try to set things right, we just muck it up that much more. Sometimes we just have to release it and move on. Treat it like the dust it is, shake it off your shoes and walk on into the rest of your life.
For more tips and tools for managing anger visit tools for successful living
quick home cleaning Glenview ..Perhaps you've heard of the 80/20 rule, but don't know... Read More
Workplace stress is on the rise and it's costing corporate... Read More
Have you been feeling so stressful and almost losing your... Read More
If you suffer from insomnia of any kind, the chances... Read More
The National Center for health statistics reported that in 1997,... Read More
Work related tensions, personal issues and abnormal lifestyles are the... Read More
Stress is the nastiest 4 letter word you ever met.... Read More
My grandmother, a feisty and athletic woman in her younger... Read More
Meditation seems to have arrived in the mainstream of late,... Read More
Life would be so wonderful if it weren't for other... Read More
What do you think of when you see that word?... Read More
Raise your hand if you have ever been rejected by... Read More
In a recent CMA survey of 2251 physicians, over 45%... Read More
"Smash!" It was a sunny autumn Saturday. My cousins and... Read More
What is the greatest fear of man? Is it death?... Read More
The brain uses feel-good transmitters called endorphins when managing daily... Read More
Learning methods of stress elimination is a vital skill in... Read More
We all know that stress levels in the workplace are... Read More
Most of us lead busy lives, trying to successfully juggle... Read More
I just got through reading some troubling news in the... Read More
This is the time for daydreaming about your annual vacation.... Read More
Conceptualizing stress: Stress often has a negative connotation. Failure, illnesses,... Read More
IntroductionTime magazine called stress the "The Epidemic of the Eighties".... Read More
... Read More
I hope by reading this article you will see the... Read More
scheduled maid service Winnetka ..Q:We recently had someone come to our company to talk... Read More
Caring for a chronically ill loved one can be one... Read More
Imagine going through your whole life in the constant fear... Read More
"Let your mind be quiet, realizing the beauty of the... Read More
We strive for excellence in our lives, going at full... Read More
Here's a fun little experiment:Take a few seconds and look... Read More
In these times when companies are constantly down-sizing and right-sizing... Read More
The Problem You don't need me to tell you how... Read More
It is an inescapable fact, we live in a stressful... Read More
The fall season signals a shift in most people's minds.... Read More
I just got through reading some troubling news in the... Read More
One of the best ways to combat stress and depression... Read More
Every day we are faced with a situation where our... Read More
We all have it; we live with it daily: stress.... Read More
Stress seems to have become a constant factor in today's... Read More
What good is Personal or Business Success...if your Health is... Read More
Self-Care Strategies:Substantial breakfast daily Regular sleeping habits (minimum of 7... Read More
When a great Zen Master returned to his country after... Read More
If you suffer from insomnia of any kind, the chances... Read More
Shit happens. I know this to be a fact, because... Read More
Tough leaders are usually seen as ogres. Their exacting demands... Read More
Looking for mindfulness? Who ya gonna call?Try dialing M.It's easy... Read More
Stress is the nastiest 4 letter word you ever met.... Read More
* The material presented in this article is provided for... Read More
1. Acknowledge that requesting support, guidance and partnership is not... Read More
Stress Management |