Home
>
Stress Management
>
Stress Management and Mastery: How to Learn from Mistakes

Stress Management and Mastery: How to Learn from Mistakes

Q. I've been told that I need to learn from my mistakes. But telling me to learn from my mistakes is easier said than done. How exactly does it happen?

A. People seem to go through three stages in learning how to learn from their mistakes:

Stage One: Get me out of this!

No one likes mistakes or the problems and challenges that accompany them. But each mistake, problem and challenge comes with a gift for us.

When we are rescued from our mistakes, we miss out on what we are to learn from them. There are certain lessons that each of us is to learn in life. If we don't learn the lesson the first time around, the same mistakes, problems and challenges will come back around.

I call this the "taps and 2-by-4's process of life." When we need to learn and/or change something, life begins with a small tap on our shoulder. If we don't pay attention, the taps get more forceful. If we still don't listen, life has a way of taking out a 2-by-4 and whacking us across the head to get our attention.

Having been on the receiving end of a few 2-by-4's, I recommend that you pay attention to the taps, because 2-by-4's hurt.

Stage Two: Get me through this

Instead of looking for a way out, you are looking for a way through. We begin to ask questions like "How can I get through this?" instead of "How can I get out of this?" The focus is on survival instead of escape.

The only problem is that while surviving sounds good, it's not very compelling. How excited would you be each morning if you got up thinking, "All right, I get to go survive today"?

Sometimes it seems like the very best we can do is survive a situation, but I believe there are better responses we can choose. In the words of Dan Fogelberg: "Lessons learned are like bridges burned, we only need to cross them but once."

Stage Three: What can I learn from this?

This is when you begin to learn from mistakes. If you believe that all mistakes come with hidden gifts, then this is when you can begin to discover them. Just asking the question frames the situation in a different perspective.

Here are some useful questions to ask: What was I trying to accomplish? Did it work? What ongoing themes were revealed that need to be changed? How many other ways are there to accomplish what I want? Is what I want to accomplish the right thing to do? Is it worth doing? What will happen if I keep making this mistake and/or don't learn anything from this problem?

Making a mistake is not the biggest mistake we can make; not learning from them is the biggest mistake.

Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

Batchtown Chicago prom limo .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

A virtual private network can help ensure your information remains security and your privacy remains intact. Kurt the CyberGuy explains.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Artificial intelligence-based cameras are giving air defense operators unprecedented capabilities in monitoring and protecting airspace.

Apple's iOS 18.1 Inactivity Reboot automatically reboots your iPhone if it hasn't been used or unlocked for more than three days, providing better data protection.

An inventor designed rooftop solar panels for a Tesla that draws solar energy while the car is parked, adding travel mileage without plugging in.

There are currently no laws governing what artificial intelligence can and cannot do with the information it gathers; here are 10 things to avoid telling AI chatbots to keep yourself safe.

A credit union with over 240,000 members recently revealed it was targeted by cybercriminals, resulting in a data breach that was part of a two-month attack by hackers.

Scammers have become skilled at creating convincing fake websites that can easily fool unsuspecting users. The CyberGuy offers tips to protect yourself.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

CAPTCHAs, which are used by websites to confirm whether users are people or bots, are harmless, but hackers are using them to infect PCs with malware.

Hackers recently leaked personal information of about 500,000 Americans and stole patient medical records that included lab results and insurance details.

The holiday season sees a rise in mobile shopping scams. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson helps you learn how to stay safe.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says a VPN enhances online banking security by encrypting data and protecting privacy.

Beware of these six sneaky holiday scams. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson gives you tips to avoid falling victim.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals how to securely back up and factory reset your Android to protect your privacy and data.

Artificial intelligence is making life easier for cybercriminals, allowing them to create elaborate scams to trick people. Kurt the Cyberguy explains how to protect yourself.

Cut through all the digital clutter and delete multiple emails from your Android simultaneously. Kurt the CyberGuy explains how it's done.

Tips to prevent your holiday decorations from being stolen

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson lays out the immediate steps you should take if your phone has been hacked and your personal information becomes vulnerable.

Fraudsters are sending people bogus invoices through PayPal as part of a sneaky scam that is going around; here's how to protect yourself from being fooled.

A former Colgate-Palmolive employee was shocked to discover $750,000 had been drained from her 401(k) account. "CyberGuy" offers tips on how to prevent identity theft.

Electric vehicle maker Harbinger recently showed its electric delivery truck can handle icy roads with agility and stability in winter.

To make the busiest time of year more manageable, here are some tricks for tracking your packages, taking quality family photos and curating the perfect Christmas playlist.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how to keep your online Amazon gift purchases a secret from loved ones or friends this holiday season.