Q. So many times in my life, I seem to hold myself back from what I want to do. I make great plans and have great intentions, but then end up holding myself back in some way. Do you have any suggestions for changing this?
A. When you were a kid, did you ever do something wrong and get put on restrictions? You know, no TV, stay in your room, can't play with friends, for what seemed like an eternity?
What would it be like if we were still on the same restrictions from when we were kids?
It would seem kind of silly, would it not?
And yet we tend to keep ourselves "on restriction" in so many areas of our lives.
These restrictions tend to fall into certain categories. See if any of these fit for you.
1) I can't:
Ask for what I want.
Be successful.
Get the right job.
Stand up for myself.
2) I shouldn't:
Go for what I want.
Act selfish.
Say no.
Think for myself.
3) I'm only:
Good at one thing.
A young person.
An old person.
4) I don't have:
The right genes.
The right connections.
5) I have:
Too much against me.
A bad attitude.
6) They said:
I couldn't do it.
I wouldn't make it.
7) I'm too:
Young, old, fat, thin.
If you recognized yourself in any of these restrictions, don't despair. Look at it this way. When we were kids, parents could put us on restrictions and take us off. But now we are adults. We can take ourselves off restrictions.
How? There are three steps.
1. Question the restriction. Here are some questions to ask:
Does this make sense?
Does this fit in my life?
Does it help me meet my goals?
Does it help me to feel and act the way I want?
If you can't get a yes to any of these questions, it's time to discard the restriction as no longer useful in your life.
2. Make fun of the restriction.
Have you ever gently teased yourself about something in your life? I don't mean in a negative or mean sense. You need to be able to laugh at your own self-imposed limitations.
3. Replace it with an ability.
Here's a general rule about changing restrictions: Never remove a restriction without replacing it with a belief that strengthens you.
Take, for example, one of the statements above: "I can't ask for what I want." After you have questioned and laughed at the restriction, simply replace it with "I can ask for anything I want, I just need to learn how."
See the difference?
Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
car service from Midway Burlington .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareWhat would you say if I told you I know... Read More
Many people go through the motions during Christmas. If not... Read More
When we think about stress in the workplace, we usually... Read More
Work related tensions, personal issues and abnormal lifestyles are the... Read More
ResentmentsA wise friend once said that holding onto resentments is... Read More
Everyone needs successful stress management techniques. Easy to learn and... Read More
For those who are suffering from stress, just about the... Read More
THE ENCHANTED SELF? teaches you how to access positive states... Read More
Everyone worries. As bothersome as it is, worry isn't all... Read More
Recently the well known American news anchor Peter Jennings died... Read More
Stress is an interpretation of an event or circumstance which... Read More
The fall season signals a shift in most people's minds.... Read More
So many of us live a stressful life. Unfortunately, when... Read More
My grandmother, a feisty and athletic woman in her younger... Read More
Get at least 15 minutes of sunshine daily.Daily Exercise -... Read More
Do you attack problems and solve them or do you... Read More
Q. Help! I moved from the Dallas to Denver. I... Read More
Looking for all of the answers in how to manage... Read More
Why do we resist change? As the saying goes, the... Read More
Have you recently moved or started a new job? Do... Read More
Everywhere I go, I hear the same unpleasant sentence repeated... Read More
One of the dumbest things I have ever done is... Read More
Q. I've been told that I need to learn from... Read More
Case #1- Elizabeth, a 40 year old homemaker was always... Read More
Often, in today's fast paced world, we forget to take... Read More
Granger limo Chicago .."Do you want to be a lump of coal or... Read More
"The great lesson from the true mystics, from the Zen... Read More
Question 1"How do I get more time to play?"Answer: Schedule... Read More
Workers across America will tell you that stresslevels are increasing.... Read More
Fear, and its accompanying seriousness, causes our suffering. Fear restricts... Read More
When it is all said and done, do you feel... Read More
What is Stress?Stress may be defined as the three-way relationship... Read More
On a beautiful summer day years ago, I went water... Read More
We are currently living in a capitalist society where money... Read More
Do you worry all the time?Do the following symptoms bother... Read More
Too much driving, too much shopping, too much rushing around,... Read More
Have you been feeling so stressful and almost losing your... Read More
Case #1- Elizabeth, a 40 year old homemaker was always... Read More
Looking for mindfulness? Who ya gonna call?Try dialing M.It's easy... Read More
Life is so busy and as mothers we spend so... Read More
The right amount of stress can be good for you,... Read More
Did you know that more than half of our adult... Read More
The World Health Organization calls stress "the health epidemic of... Read More
My first real job (schedule, time clock, paycheck, boss) was... Read More
Positive self-esteem is very important for our general health and... Read More
Have you ever listened to someone, perhaps even to your... Read More
Worry, big or small blocks positive vibrations from entering your... Read More
Is your in-tray or inbox full? I don't normally check... Read More
Over the years I've collected scores of comics and cartoons... Read More
I love a good story and I know I'm not... Read More
Stress Management |