Q. So many times in my life, I seem to hold myself back from what I want to do. I make great plans and have great intentions, but then end up holding myself back in some way. Do you have any suggestions for changing this?
A. When you were a kid, did you ever do something wrong and get put on restrictions? You know, no TV, stay in your room, can't play with friends, for what seemed like an eternity?
What would it be like if we were still on the same restrictions from when we were kids?
It would seem kind of silly, would it not?
And yet we tend to keep ourselves "on restriction" in so many areas of our lives.
These restrictions tend to fall into certain categories. See if any of these fit for you.
1) I can't:
Ask for what I want.
Be successful.
Get the right job.
Stand up for myself.
2) I shouldn't:
Go for what I want.
Act selfish.
Say no.
Think for myself.
3) I'm only:
Good at one thing.
A young person.
An old person.
4) I don't have:
The right genes.
The right connections.
5) I have:
Too much against me.
A bad attitude.
6) They said:
I couldn't do it.
I wouldn't make it.
7) I'm too:
Young, old, fat, thin.
If you recognized yourself in any of these restrictions, don't despair. Look at it this way. When we were kids, parents could put us on restrictions and take us off. But now we are adults. We can take ourselves off restrictions.
How? There are three steps.
1. Question the restriction. Here are some questions to ask:
Does this make sense?
Does this fit in my life?
Does it help me meet my goals?
Does it help me to feel and act the way I want?
If you can't get a yes to any of these questions, it's time to discard the restriction as no longer useful in your life.
2. Make fun of the restriction.
Have you ever gently teased yourself about something in your life? I don't mean in a negative or mean sense. You need to be able to laugh at your own self-imposed limitations.
3. Replace it with an ability.
Here's a general rule about changing restrictions: Never remove a restriction without replacing it with a belief that strengthens you.
Take, for example, one of the statements above: "I can't ask for what I want." After you have questioned and laughed at the restriction, simply replace it with "I can ask for anything I want, I just need to learn how."
See the difference?
Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
same day cleaning service Des Plaines .."Smash!" It was a sunny autumn Saturday. My cousins and... Read More
Where does stress really come from? Is there any simple... Read More
When was the last time you took a day just... Read More
10 Ways to Monitor Corporate Stress LevelsGood military leaders work... Read More
Do you have stress in your life?......I know you answered... Read More
Adversity is an unavoidable part of life. Death of a... Read More
Workers across America will tell you that stresslevels are increasing.... Read More
Comedian George Carlin once remarked, "Have your ever noticed? Anyone... Read More
1. Determine your "unique ability" and capitalize on itDelegate the... Read More
Shit happens. I know this to be a fact, because... Read More
Today's workplace produces plenty of stress. Life's little hassles mount... Read More
Aromatherapy is very therapeutic when it comes to healing emotional... Read More
One of the hardest forms of stress to avoid is... Read More
Do you attack problems and solve them or do you... Read More
Let's take a look at some of the more serious... Read More
There may be so much you want to change in... Read More
Managing stress is not easy if you don't have the... Read More
Stress. The word brings to mind many different definitions doesn't... Read More
A friend has this quotation on his office wall: "I... Read More
Stress is an interpretation of an event or circumstance which... Read More
So many of us live a stressful life. Unfortunately, when... Read More
Are you looking for stress relief? No drugs, no meditation?... Read More
Meditation, relaxation and visualisation are the standard recommendations for reducing... Read More
After a stressful day as a computer programmer, Jim pulled... Read More
Q. I wonder if you could help me with a... Read More
home cleaning services Mundelein ..Modern stress is habitual, and is something that the vast... Read More
Get at least 15 minutes of sunshine daily.Daily Exercise -... Read More
Deceiving? You bet they are. How? Without your even knowing... Read More
Why is it that some people become totally stressed when... Read More
This heading may seem like a contradiction in terms. How... Read More
1. Take a relaxing bath. Add music, candles and a... Read More
Make stress less of an issue for you in your... Read More
What do you do when you wake up in the... Read More
It's summertime and chances are you can remember a summer... Read More
Raise your hand if you have ever been rejected by... Read More
In a hectic world, it's all too easy to reach... Read More
If you're like most people, you have your bouts of... Read More
In my experience, most of us spend a lot more... Read More
Where does stress really come from? Is there any simple... Read More
"The great lesson from the true mystics, from the Zen... Read More
Comedian George Carlin once remarked, "Have your ever noticed? Anyone... Read More
Seventy-five percent of all our problems ? both emotional and... Read More
Panic.Heart racing. Palms sweating. Breathing rapid and shallow. Mouth dry.... Read More
The United Nations declares workplace stress to be a worldwide... Read More
There is one sure fire medicine that cures all difficulty... Read More
All stress comes from believing a thought that argues with... Read More
Everybody deals with fear and anxiety, however some people have... Read More
Managing stress is not easy if you don't have the... Read More
When it is all said and done, do you feel... Read More
Worry, big or small blocks positive vibrations from entering your... Read More
Stress Management |