Q. So many times in my life, I seem to hold myself back from what I want to do. I make great plans and have great intentions, but then end up holding myself back in some way. Do you have any suggestions for changing this?
A. When you were a kid, did you ever do something wrong and get put on restrictions? You know, no TV, stay in your room, can't play with friends, for what seemed like an eternity?
What would it be like if we were still on the same restrictions from when we were kids?
It would seem kind of silly, would it not?
And yet we tend to keep ourselves "on restriction" in so many areas of our lives.
These restrictions tend to fall into certain categories. See if any of these fit for you.
1) I can't:
Ask for what I want.
Be successful.
Get the right job.
Stand up for myself.
2) I shouldn't:
Go for what I want.
Act selfish.
Say no.
Think for myself.
3) I'm only:
Good at one thing.
A young person.
An old person.
4) I don't have:
The right genes.
The right connections.
5) I have:
Too much against me.
A bad attitude.
6) They said:
I couldn't do it.
I wouldn't make it.
7) I'm too:
Young, old, fat, thin.
If you recognized yourself in any of these restrictions, don't despair. Look at it this way. When we were kids, parents could put us on restrictions and take us off. But now we are adults. We can take ourselves off restrictions.
How? There are three steps.
1. Question the restriction. Here are some questions to ask:
Does this make sense?
Does this fit in my life?
Does it help me meet my goals?
Does it help me to feel and act the way I want?
If you can't get a yes to any of these questions, it's time to discard the restriction as no longer useful in your life.
2. Make fun of the restriction.
Have you ever gently teased yourself about something in your life? I don't mean in a negative or mean sense. You need to be able to laugh at your own self-imposed limitations.
3. Replace it with an ability.
Here's a general rule about changing restrictions: Never remove a restriction without replacing it with a belief that strengthens you.
Take, for example, one of the statements above: "I can't ask for what I want." After you have questioned and laughed at the restriction, simply replace it with "I can ask for anything I want, I just need to learn how."
See the difference?
Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
house refresh service Lincolnshire ..In my experience, most of us spend a lot more... Read More
June is the month of the honey moon. Custom holds... Read More
Do you feel stress at work? Do you carry your... Read More
Is your in-tray or inbox full? I don't normally check... Read More
Several studies, including one of medical students around exam time,... Read More
Do you often overreact to situations? Are you a constant... Read More
Caring for a chronically ill loved one can be one... Read More
The National Center for health statistics reported that in 1997,... Read More
Everywhere I go, I hear the same unpleasant sentence repeated... Read More
Are you feeling stressed out? Too many things to do,... Read More
For those of you who have been living in a... Read More
We all know that stress levels in the workplace are... Read More
"Watch your language."We all heard this admonition as kids and... Read More
Do you worry all the time?Do the following symptoms bother... Read More
File this one under the category of "watch your language."The... Read More
Imagine driving down the road. You are driving with a... Read More
We are currently living in a capitalist society where money... Read More
Health Impacts of StressStress is a funny concept, try to... Read More
?And holding it way down inside you like an old... Read More
Amazing thing, overwhelm!You don't usually see it coming. It just... Read More
Q: We recently had someone come to our company to... Read More
Today we have more stress in our lives than ever... Read More
1. The Law of StagnationThis is also known as first... Read More
What would you say if I told you I know... Read More
I have yet to see a scientist talk about the... Read More
licensed cleaning services Lake Forest ..Anyone who has ever worked knows that stress is part... Read More
This summer, get away, without going away. Take a mini... Read More
When a great Zen Master returned to his country after... Read More
Imagine going through your whole life in the constant fear... Read More
With almost 50% of workers complaining that their jobs are... Read More
My work often deals with proactive, preventive means to Overcome... Read More
Don't wait to have a life-threatening disease to learn what... Read More
The predominant role human conditioning plays in a stressful environment.... Read More
"Slow down, you move too fast, you've got to make... Read More
"One day I'm a mother, One day I'm a lover,... Read More
Life can offer us many challenges having to do with... Read More
My son was watching a Richard Scarry video this morning... Read More
Often, in today's fast paced world, we forget to take... Read More
1. The Mentor Method: think of your favorite person. Someone... Read More
Something the successful business person needs is - lots of... Read More
Think back a few years to the nine coal miners... Read More
"Smash!" It was a sunny autumn Saturday. My cousins and... Read More
Why do we resist change? As the saying goes, the... Read More
It is an inescapable fact, we live in a stressful... Read More
Have you ever considered sewing a handbag as an act... Read More
?And holding it way down inside you like an old... Read More
The World Health Organization calls stress "the health epidemic of... Read More
Deceiving? You bet they are. How? Without your even knowing... Read More
Elizabeth, 32, cried during anger management class as she told... Read More
Do you ever fret? In today's materialistic age, sometimes fretting... Read More
Stress Management |