"One day I'm a mother, One day I'm a lover, What am I supposed to do? Workin' for a livin' All because I'm driven ... Why do I have to wear So many things on my head?"
These lyrics from the Amy Grant song ``Hats'' seem to capture the cry of many overworked, overwhelmed and stressed-out people.
In the song, the word ``hats'' simply refers to all the different roles we must play in our everyday lives.
There is the hat of employee, parent, spouse, son or daughter, etc., etc. It might be easier if these hats could be worn one at a time; we could complete one role and move on to another. Unfortunately for most of us, we tend to wear all of our different hats in the same day, often at the same time.
TMH - a unique kind of stress
The responsibility and pressure of too many roles is a unique kind of stress. I call it Too Many Hats Syndrome. TMH syndrome can be likened to the sideshow at the circus in which a guy has several plates spinning on sticks, all at once. He has to run around constantly to make sure he keeps all of them spinning.
What are some of the characteristics of a person suffering from TMH syndrome?
She's always doing something, rushing, rushing, rushing.
She never has enough time.
She's not able to have fun and/or relax.
She has trouble falling asleep.
She wakes up during the night and is unable to go back to sleep.
She has a feeling of always being ``on.''
She thinks she's the only person who has so much to do.
She has the sense that if she stops and rests, everything will fall apart.
She works in bed until she turns off the lights.
She feels exhausted all the time.
She has fantasies of running away from it all.
Misinformation about stress
One of the most misleading ideas about coping with stress is that somehow we can eliminate it from our lives. If you are alive, you are experiencing some level of stress. In fact, it's a sign that you are alive.
The main solution is in how we respond to and therefore cope with stress. Dr. James Loehr, in his book ``Toughness Training for Life'' has this to say: ``Stress management systems usually aim at reducing stress, an unrealistic goal for most of us.'' Instead, Loehr focuses on how to be ``emotionally strong enough to thrive on the stress.''
Unless we win the lottery or become independently wealthy in some other way, most of us will simply have to learn how to cope with our own version of ``Too Many Hats.''
Here are some suggestions for thriving on stress instead of just surviving:
Organize, organize, organize your time. If you are saying you don't have enough time to organize, you're proving my point.
Pay attention to how you talk to yourself about your stress. Negative self-talk such as, ``How will I ever get all this done?'' and ``This is just not fair!'' turns stress into pressure.
Positive self-talk allows us to thrive on the stress in our lives. Reframe the stress from ``all I have to do'' to ``all I get to do'' or ``all I am able to do.''
Learn to say no when your dance card is already full. Keep handy a 3x5 card with the word ``NO'' written on it in big letters.
Delegate. Another sign of TMH syndrome is the mistaken belief that we are only ones who can do a task properly. If it can be done by someone else, allow them the privilege of helping.
Remind yourself that you usually do get everything done. This can calm you and put things in perspective.
To get a different perspective on the situation, consider how a favorite character from a recent movie or TV show would handle the situation.
Take a mini-vacation. Whether a three-day getaway or a five-minute break, getting away refreshes us.
Remember this word: balance. Make sure to leave room for the hat called fun and relaxation.
Stress is an inevitable part of our daily lives. To be able to thrive on our stress, it's important to have fun and to enjoy keeping all those plates spinning.
Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
no-contract cleaning service Des Plaines ..Q: We recently had someone come to our company to... Read More
Conceptualizing stress: Stress often has a negative connotation. Failure, illnesses,... Read More
Picture the following scene:It's Sunday evening, the weekend is winding... Read More
Raise your hand if you have ever been rejected by... Read More
Stress is the nastiest 4 letter word you ever met.... Read More
Feeling stressed? Who isn't!! In today's society, feeling "stressed out,"... Read More
Worry, big or small blocks positive vibrations from entering your... Read More
It is very true that, unfortunately, many people look to... Read More
Today we have more stress in our lives than ever... Read More
Ask a hundred different people how to deal with stress... Read More
An excellent stress reducer can be something as simple as... Read More
Matthew 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labour... Read More
Use these simple tips to minimize stress in your day... Read More
Are you a person who has a keen imagination, a... Read More
Life would be so wonderful if it weren't for other... Read More
Is your in-tray or inbox full? I don't normally check... Read More
My grandmother, a feisty and athletic woman in her younger... Read More
Stress ReliefStress is a big business in Western society. We... Read More
Mark Twain once said, "It's not what we don't know... Read More
Case #1- Elizabeth, a 40 year old homemaker was always... Read More
There are two types of anxiety:*Situational *Existential.Most of us experience... Read More
When something happens in our lives, we automatically assess the... Read More
After a stressful day as a computer programmer, Jim pulled... Read More
One of the best ways to relieve yourself from the... Read More
When was the last time you took a day just... Read More
bathroom cleaning service Lake Forest ..Q: What is Stress?A: Very basically it is the physical,... Read More
The main problem in a down economy is that workplaces... Read More
Stress is more than just unpleasant. It's dangerous. Try these... Read More
We so often take the feelings of happiness and saddness... Read More
What do you do when you wake up in the... Read More
A grandfather, whose grandson came to him angry at a... Read More
Managing stress is not easy if you don't have the... Read More
Today we have more stress in our lives than ever... Read More
It was a self-exploration that made me understand myself. It... Read More
Everybody deals with fear and anxiety, however some people have... Read More
Lake Hopatcong, NJ (PRWEB) November 30, 2004 -- Here are... Read More
Are you a "worry wart?" Is that term familiar to... Read More
Statistics show that all of us experience stress at one... Read More
In a recent CMA survey of 2251 physicians, over 45%... Read More
I'm sure you have heard of IBS, irritable bowel syndrome,... Read More
At what age does the benefit of play cease? Child... Read More
Stress seems to have become a constant factor in today's... Read More
Top Ten Ways to Reduce Your Stress at Home1. Create... Read More
On a beautiful summer day years ago, I went water... Read More
A friend has this quotation on his office wall: "I... Read More
If you're like most people, you have your bouts of... Read More
This is the time for daydreaming about your annual vacation.... Read More
Did you know that more than half of our adult... Read More
Quote of the week"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." Leonardo da... Read More
In a hectic world, it's all too easy to reach... Read More
Stress Management |