Home
>
Stress Management
>
The Three Rs of Handling Your Emotions

The Three Rs of Handling Your Emotions

My son was watching a Richard Scarry video this morning as I was doing my usual rushing around, getting ready to leave the house. He's watched it countless times, but I've never managed to sit through the entire thing. This morning one song caught my attention, "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands", which I sang many many times as a child in Sunday School, and always followed with "If you're happy and you know it, then your life will surely show it ..." In the version I heard this morning, the first verse was followed by "If you're angry and you know it, stomp your feet", which made me pause a moment. I muttered to my husband, "Since when do kids need to be taught to stomp their feet when they're angry?"

What do we do with anger? What do we do with any of our emotions? Are they a right, a luxury, an indulgence, or just a part of being who we are? Some of us "wear our heart on our sleeves," leaving those around with no doubts about what we're feeling. Others (myself included) tend to keep a poker face, leaving everyone guessing. Sound familiar? Both extremes have their advantages, but as I muttered this morning, kids at least seem to start out putting their emotions out there for all to see, and aren't one bit shy about it.

The key in all of this? What do you DO with the feelings once you've looked them deep in the eye and acknowledged that they are yours? Do you stamp your feet? Clap your hands? Act them out? Give them away? The very bottom line ... do you react, do you release, and do you respond? The three basic R's ... three healthy stages.

Reactions are more or less involuntary and spur of the moment. There is no thought involved, but an instinctive gut reaction based on the emotion you're feeling. Releasing emotions has two parts. First, release everyone but yourself from any responsibility for the emotion. It's your feeling and your responsibility. Then you can choose to release the emotion entirely and give it up to God or to the universe if you wish, or follow it up with a response. Responses are based on thoughts and reasoning rather than feelings. I believe there is a place and a time for all three, so long as the emotions are acknowledged first. At times a gut reaction may be the most healthy and helpful, usually when associated with positive emotions like joy, love, affection, and so on. Negative emotions like anger usually work better when you make it past a gut reaction to release and response.

Sometimes emotions are overwhelming and we almost can't help but react. Making a very raw painting was my reaction to a super-strong feeling of anger a few weeks ago ... rather than break something (my first impulse), I grabbed the brushes and paints and went to it. I admitted I was angry, and then checked my first reaction and let fly with a slightly controlled response instead. Potential disaster and regret averted!

One last thought on sharing your feelings ... letting others know how you feel, especially in a responsive way, gives them the opportunity to respond back to you. Chances are if they can see your face or hear your tone of voice they have a good idea how you feel, but telling them has a much greater impact. The R that doesn't belong, Repression, never helps. Feelings in the open can be addressed, and I love the fact that my son is old enough now to not only stamp his feet and clap his hands, but to tell me how he feels about things so we can talk about it. Go on then ... keep the three R's in mind when dealing with your feelings ... react with abandon, release always, and respond wisely.

Bethany Rule is an experienced personal and professional life coach, championing human development, encouraging change, and helping you break your own rules. Based in NYC, she works with clients all over the world. Please visit http://www.bethanyrule.com to learn more.

trusted cleaning company Lake Forest ..

In The News:

Mac malware campaign uses fake AI chat results to deliver AMOS through terminal commands, security researchers report. Attackers exploit trust in AI-generated cleanup guides.

States require AI disclosure in healthcare as California, Colorado and Utah implement laws mandating transparency when artificial intelligence influences patient care decisions.

ETA sharing on Apple Maps and Google Maps keeps contacts updated automatically while you drive safely. Learn step-by-step instructions for iPhone and Android.

Data removal from brokers protects against AI-powered scams and deepfake threats in 2026. Learn how data brokers sell your personal information to scammers.

Learn how to act against cybercriminals in 2026 with essential security steps like two-factor authentication, software updates and credit freezing.

Choose between OpenAI releasing Sora text-to-video model, the AI race heating up, or Waymo driverless cars launching in cities across the country

Learn how to set up Google Maps and Apple Maps on your phone to automatically remember where you parked. Step-by-step instructions for enabling location services and parking detection.

Phishing scammers use rnicrosoft.com domain to impersonate Microsoft by replacing "m" with "rn" in typosquatting attacks that steal login credentials.

OpenAI announces new teen safety rules for ChatGPT users under 18, blocking romantic roleplay and requiring extra caution on body image topics.

A 2025 data breach at fintech company 700Credit exposes personal information of more than 5.8 million people through compromised third-party integration partner.

Retailers lose $76.5 billion annually to return fraud as nearly 10% of U.S. retail returns involve fraudulent activity, with $850 billion in returns expected in 2025.

ShinyHunters claims responsibility for stealing 94GB of Pornhub user data affecting over 200 million records and demands Bitcoin ransom.

ChatGPT 2025 now connects to Apple Music, Canva, Expedia, TripAdvisor and OpenTable through built-in apps that help users create playlists, design graphics and more.

Apple releases emergency patches for two zero-day vulnerabilities actively exploited in attacks. iPhone and iPad users urged to update immediately.

DoorDash launches Zesty, an AI-powered social app that recommends restaurants through conversational search, now testing in San Francisco and New York.

Cybersecurity firm Infoblox reveals that over 90 percent of parked domains now redirect visitors to scams and malware, making simple typos extremely dangerous.

The Fox News AI Newsletter covers the latest artificial intelligence technology advancements, including the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

GPT-5.2 is now live for all ChatGPT users with improved coding, writing and image interpretation, with Kurt Knutsson offering his review.

New iPhone replacement scam uses pressure tactics and fake carrier calls to steal devices from buyers. Criminals claim shipping errors and demand urgent returns.

Amazon Ring's new facial recognition feature sparks privacy controversy as Electronic Frontier Foundation critics argue the AI upgrade expands surveillance risks.

New Android banking trojan Sturnus steals credentials, reads encrypted messages and controls devices.

Denmark's 3D-printed student village proves automation builds 36 apartments faster than traditional methods. Skovsporet project shows housing future.

Discover Android's new Sound Notifications feature that alerts you to smoke alarms, doorbells, and baby cries even when wearing headphones.

New SantaStealer malware reportedly threatens holiday shoppers with password theft. This Christmas-themed info-stealer targets browsers and crypto wallets.

The Christmas season brings a surge in Netflix phishing scams targeting shoppers with fake emails. Stacey P received convincing scam but verified account first.

The Three Rs of Handling Your Emotions

Stress Management