Dealing with Difficult People--Go Ahead, Rain on My Parade

"And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow."--Jerry Chin

Rain is vital to all life on earth, and is the main way that water from the sky fills our lakes and rivers, and provides nourishment and growth. Most of the time we do not look forward to the rain, but without it, we will most likely not be able to enjoy luscious fruits and vegetables, or experience the warm and moist feeling of green grass as it cushions our bare feet.

Interpersonal conflict is like a rain shower-a small local burst of rain that lasts a short time. Rain showers are usually of light to moderate intensity and likely to start and stop suddenly. You can predict when they occur by the rapid change in the sky's appearance as they approach. The same is true of most interpersonal conflict--those small micro-bursts of anger or disagreement that seem to flare up quickly and cease just as suddenly.

The aphorism rain on my parade reminds us of the unpleasantness of conflict. Yet, some unpleasant occurrences bring about better things. Conflict develops even among the finest of people. Whenever there is disagreement, a difference of opinion, a different approach, a departure from the way we do things around here, there is conflict. These little showers of light to moderate temper or anger are made to last just a short time. Yet, when we approach them the wrong way (and there is a wrong way), they can become full-blown conflict thunderstorms.

Unlike ordinary rain showers, thunderstorms are rain combined with wind and lightning. They form worldwide, spit out deadly lightning, band together to form hurricanes, and can spin up the world's fastest winds inside tornadoes. Been caught in any conflict thunderstorms lately?

THE REAL SECRET

While we cannot control or change others, we can take responsibility for our own actions, attitudes, and behavior. So how do we respond when people want to rain on our parades? Use The U-M-B-R-E-L-L-A:

U = Understand. Make an attempt to understand as well as to be understood. Don't let the other person's difficult behavior preoccupy you; then you can deal with it directly.

M = Manage. Manage conflict while it is occurring. Look for the real issue which is usually found at the root of the problem. Don't allow yourself to be distracted by minor spats or side issues that distract and get in the way.

B = Breathe. Use a variety of stress-reducing strategies when you are in the midst of conflict. Try breathing slowly and deeply to regulate stress producing adrenalin. Take a break when conversations get heated, and above all, control your impulses.

R = Respond. Remain calm and act in a non-defensive and non-reactive way. The ability to be calm in the face of conflict will help you to think more clearly and carefully.

E = Embrace. Go directly to those with whom you disagree or have a conflict. Avoid behind-the-back criticism. If this fails, then ask an objective third-party to act as facilitator in resolving the conflict.

L = Listen. Be quick to listen and when listening do so carefully. Summarize and check out what is heard before responding. Be slow to judge, avoid name-calling, and threatening.

L = Learn. Examine key learnings from the conflict. Conflict, though painful, is necessary for growth and maturity. Ask yourself, "What can I learn here? Do I need to change my behavior or offer an apology?" Enter into each conflict situation with a learning mindset.

A = Accept. Conflict is a normal part of life, so accept that it will happen and most likely happen often. The people we find the most difficult are also those who offer the greatest opportunities for growth.

WHAT ABOUT COMMUNICATION?

Wherever conflict exists, no matter what its cause or reason, communication has played a key role. Poor communication has either initiated the conflict or kept it going. Good communication will lead to a mutually agreeable solution. It promotes a give-and-take open dialogue that focuses on the problem not the emotion.

We all have difficult people in our lives-you know, those folks of radically differing viewpoints who anger, exasperate, frustrate, and nearly drive us out of our minds! Difficult people tend to rain on our parades. Just when things are going well and we're marching in the success procession, a short but violent conflict shower or thunderstorm will often break out. An instinctive response is usually not the best one because we are caught unawares. So we reply back with a storm of our own, and before you know it, a deluge accompanied by hurricane force winds floods our relationships and ruins our parades.

IN THE END, YOU MATTER?

You are responsible for deciding how you will respond to conflict and difficult people. The U-M-B-R-E-L-L-A along with good communication will ensure that you don't get wet!

So, let it rain...It's Just a Parade!

Althea DeBrule is co-owner of RADSGroup Organizational Consultants, a Stamford, CT based firm that helps organizations to increase their effectiveness and individuals to maximize their professional and leadership potential. She has over 30 years demonstrated and celebrated leadership experience both domestically and internationally in human resources and executive development. Entrepreneur and seasoned executive, she has focused throughout her career on helping workers achieve their career goals. For information on how The RADSGroup can help you with your career needs, visit http://www.radsgroup.com/

no-contract cleaning service Des Plaines ..
In The News:

A 2025 data breach at fintech company 700Credit exposes personal information of more than 5.8 million people through compromised third-party integration partner.
Retailers lose $76.5 billion annually to return fraud as nearly 10% of U.S. retail returns involve fraudulent activity, with $850 billion in returns expected in 2025.
ShinyHunters claims responsibility for stealing 94GB of Pornhub user data affecting over 200 million records and demands Bitcoin ransom.
ChatGPT 2025 now connects to Apple Music, Canva, Expedia, TripAdvisor and OpenTable through built-in apps that help users create playlists, design graphics and more.
Apple releases emergency patches for two zero-day vulnerabilities actively exploited in attacks. iPhone and iPad users urged to update immediately.
DoorDash launches Zesty, an AI-powered social app that recommends restaurants through conversational search, now testing in San Francisco and New York.
Cybersecurity firm Infoblox reveals that over 90 percent of parked domains now redirect visitors to scams and malware, making simple typos extremely dangerous.
The Fox News AI Newsletter covers the latest artificial intelligence technology advancements, including the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
GPT-5.2 is now live for all ChatGPT users with improved coding, writing and image interpretation, with Kurt Knutsson offering his review.
New iPhone replacement scam uses pressure tactics and fake carrier calls to steal devices from buyers. Criminals claim shipping errors and demand urgent returns.
Amazon Ring's new facial recognition feature sparks privacy controversy as Electronic Frontier Foundation critics argue the AI upgrade expands surveillance risks.
New Android banking trojan Sturnus steals credentials, reads encrypted messages and controls devices.
Denmark's 3D-printed student village proves automation builds 36 apartments faster than traditional methods. Skovsporet project shows housing future.
Discover Android's new Sound Notifications feature that alerts you to smoke alarms, doorbells, and baby cries even when wearing headphones.
New SantaStealer malware reportedly threatens holiday shoppers with password theft. This Christmas-themed info-stealer targets browsers and crypto wallets.
The Christmas season brings a surge in Netflix phishing scams targeting shoppers with fake emails. Stacey P received convincing scam but verified account first.
San Francisco Giants invite Jamie Grohsong to throw ceremonial first pitch at Oracle Park after he learned to play baseball with a bionic hand following an injury.
FBI warns cybercriminals are stealing family photos from social media to create fake proof of life images in virtual kidnapping scams targeting victims.
Instagram's new 'Your Algorithm' tool lets you control your Reels feed in real time. The app now gives you power to customize what videos you see.
Major Marquis fintech breach exposes 400,000-plus Americans' data through unpatched SonicWall vulnerability, with Texas hardest hit at 354,000 affected.
Free up iPhone storage fast by clearing large photos and videos from Messages app. Simple steps for iOS users to delete attachments without losing chats.
Scammers are flooding inboxes with fake tracking alerts that mimic real carriers, exploiting the holiday rush to steal logins and personal data.
The Fox News AI Newsletter brings you the latest news on AI technology advancements and the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
Texas family reunites with missing 11-year-old cat Grayson after 103 days using Petco Love Lost's AI photo matching technology and community help.
Tired of AI customer service loops? These insider tricks help you escape "frustration AI" and get real human help when you need it most for urgent issues.

Success Doesnt Always Come Easy

On a raw, cold day in the European Alps, Lance... Read More

iPod - The Ultimate Self-Help Tool

Wow, what an outrageous claim! Why do I say this?... Read More

Finding Your Purpose

What is success? As author and speaker Earl Nightingale said,... Read More

Can You Think Your Way To Riches?

I am going to tell you something you already know... Read More

Success: The Slight-Edge Formula

Self-improvement; A great deal has been written on the subject,... Read More

Stop Juggling, and Start Achieving! Three Steps to the Top!

Want more success in your business or professional life? Here's... Read More

The Lazy Mans Way To Riches

The title of this article also happens to be the... Read More

How to Maintain Your Energy and Enthusiasm in Your Career: Needs versus Wants!

Most of my clients had a vision of the contribution... Read More

The Parable of the Touchstone

The Great Library of Alexandria once held the wisdom of... Read More

Reach Your Goals - Review and Refine

Periodically re-check and refine (or redefine) your goals It's no... Read More

Parable for a New Age

Daddy was a very, very odd little man-possibly a schizophrenic-for... Read More

Top Ten Breakthrough Behaviors For Excellence

1. Be Courageous. Flex your risk muscle and step out... Read More

How To Acheive Your Full Potential

If you want to make more of your talents -... Read More

Glimpsing Your Personal Heaven

In my private practice for the past 13+ years I... Read More

Powering Up Your SUCCESS Mechanisms!

An effective self- concept generates the desire to strive for... Read More

Like It or Not, In This Life... The Name of the Game is Change

Most of us fear change, because - as we've all... Read More

5 Key Ways to Attract Abundance and Prosperity

When you hear the words "abundance" and "prosperity", what immediately... Read More

Will You Be Successful?

We all want success. You do. So do I. Some... Read More

Blessing The Money You Spend

A young girl opens a birthday card from her grand... Read More

The Power Of Partnerships

Everything we have in life is because of the help... Read More

Reach Your Goals - Create A Nurturing Environment

Create an environment that is so inspiring and nurturing that... Read More

10 Tips on How to Get the Best from Changing Situations

It can be great to do something new 'for a... Read More

The Bulging Right Pocket

It was one of the worst periods of time in... Read More

10 Critical Success Clues

I don't need to be a gypsy fortune teller to... Read More

Evaluating Your Associations (Part One)

If you were to evaluate the major influences in your... Read More

bathroom cleaning service Lake Forest ..