Dealing with Difficult People--Go Ahead, Rain on My Parade

"And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow."--Jerry Chin

Rain is vital to all life on earth, and is the main way that water from the sky fills our lakes and rivers, and provides nourishment and growth. Most of the time we do not look forward to the rain, but without it, we will most likely not be able to enjoy luscious fruits and vegetables, or experience the warm and moist feeling of green grass as it cushions our bare feet.

Interpersonal conflict is like a rain shower-a small local burst of rain that lasts a short time. Rain showers are usually of light to moderate intensity and likely to start and stop suddenly. You can predict when they occur by the rapid change in the sky's appearance as they approach. The same is true of most interpersonal conflict--those small micro-bursts of anger or disagreement that seem to flare up quickly and cease just as suddenly.

The aphorism rain on my parade reminds us of the unpleasantness of conflict. Yet, some unpleasant occurrences bring about better things. Conflict develops even among the finest of people. Whenever there is disagreement, a difference of opinion, a different approach, a departure from the way we do things around here, there is conflict. These little showers of light to moderate temper or anger are made to last just a short time. Yet, when we approach them the wrong way (and there is a wrong way), they can become full-blown conflict thunderstorms.

Unlike ordinary rain showers, thunderstorms are rain combined with wind and lightning. They form worldwide, spit out deadly lightning, band together to form hurricanes, and can spin up the world's fastest winds inside tornadoes. Been caught in any conflict thunderstorms lately?

THE REAL SECRET

While we cannot control or change others, we can take responsibility for our own actions, attitudes, and behavior. So how do we respond when people want to rain on our parades? Use The U-M-B-R-E-L-L-A:

U = Understand. Make an attempt to understand as well as to be understood. Don't let the other person's difficult behavior preoccupy you; then you can deal with it directly.

M = Manage. Manage conflict while it is occurring. Look for the real issue which is usually found at the root of the problem. Don't allow yourself to be distracted by minor spats or side issues that distract and get in the way.

B = Breathe. Use a variety of stress-reducing strategies when you are in the midst of conflict. Try breathing slowly and deeply to regulate stress producing adrenalin. Take a break when conversations get heated, and above all, control your impulses.

R = Respond. Remain calm and act in a non-defensive and non-reactive way. The ability to be calm in the face of conflict will help you to think more clearly and carefully.

E = Embrace. Go directly to those with whom you disagree or have a conflict. Avoid behind-the-back criticism. If this fails, then ask an objective third-party to act as facilitator in resolving the conflict.

L = Listen. Be quick to listen and when listening do so carefully. Summarize and check out what is heard before responding. Be slow to judge, avoid name-calling, and threatening.

L = Learn. Examine key learnings from the conflict. Conflict, though painful, is necessary for growth and maturity. Ask yourself, "What can I learn here? Do I need to change my behavior or offer an apology?" Enter into each conflict situation with a learning mindset.

A = Accept. Conflict is a normal part of life, so accept that it will happen and most likely happen often. The people we find the most difficult are also those who offer the greatest opportunities for growth.

WHAT ABOUT COMMUNICATION?

Wherever conflict exists, no matter what its cause or reason, communication has played a key role. Poor communication has either initiated the conflict or kept it going. Good communication will lead to a mutually agreeable solution. It promotes a give-and-take open dialogue that focuses on the problem not the emotion.

We all have difficult people in our lives-you know, those folks of radically differing viewpoints who anger, exasperate, frustrate, and nearly drive us out of our minds! Difficult people tend to rain on our parades. Just when things are going well and we're marching in the success procession, a short but violent conflict shower or thunderstorm will often break out. An instinctive response is usually not the best one because we are caught unawares. So we reply back with a storm of our own, and before you know it, a deluge accompanied by hurricane force winds floods our relationships and ruins our parades.

IN THE END, YOU MATTER?

You are responsible for deciding how you will respond to conflict and difficult people. The U-M-B-R-E-L-L-A along with good communication will ensure that you don't get wet!

So, let it rain...It's Just a Parade!

Althea DeBrule is co-owner of RADSGroup Organizational Consultants, a Stamford, CT based firm that helps organizations to increase their effectiveness and individuals to maximize their professional and leadership potential. She has over 30 years demonstrated and celebrated leadership experience both domestically and internationally in human resources and executive development. Entrepreneur and seasoned executive, she has focused throughout her career on helping workers achieve their career goals. For information on how The RADSGroup can help you with your career needs, visit http://www.radsgroup.com/

tidy up service Northbrook ..
In The News:

Mac malware campaign uses fake AI chat results to deliver AMOS through terminal commands, security researchers report. Attackers exploit trust in AI-generated cleanup guides.
States require AI disclosure in healthcare as California, Colorado and Utah implement laws mandating transparency when artificial intelligence influences patient care decisions.
ETA sharing on Apple Maps and Google Maps keeps contacts updated automatically while you drive safely. Learn step-by-step instructions for iPhone and Android.
Data removal from brokers protects against AI-powered scams and deepfake threats in 2026. Learn how data brokers sell your personal information to scammers.
Learn how to act against cybercriminals in 2026 with essential security steps like two-factor authentication, software updates and credit freezing.
Choose between OpenAI releasing Sora text-to-video model, the AI race heating up, or Waymo driverless cars launching in cities across the country
Learn how to set up Google Maps and Apple Maps on your phone to automatically remember where you parked. Step-by-step instructions for enabling location services and parking detection.
Phishing scammers use rnicrosoft.com domain to impersonate Microsoft by replacing "m" with "rn" in typosquatting attacks that steal login credentials.
OpenAI announces new teen safety rules for ChatGPT users under 18, blocking romantic roleplay and requiring extra caution on body image topics.
A 2025 data breach at fintech company 700Credit exposes personal information of more than 5.8 million people through compromised third-party integration partner.
Retailers lose $76.5 billion annually to return fraud as nearly 10% of U.S. retail returns involve fraudulent activity, with $850 billion in returns expected in 2025.
ShinyHunters claims responsibility for stealing 94GB of Pornhub user data affecting over 200 million records and demands Bitcoin ransom.
ChatGPT 2025 now connects to Apple Music, Canva, Expedia, TripAdvisor and OpenTable through built-in apps that help users create playlists, design graphics and more.
Apple releases emergency patches for two zero-day vulnerabilities actively exploited in attacks. iPhone and iPad users urged to update immediately.
DoorDash launches Zesty, an AI-powered social app that recommends restaurants through conversational search, now testing in San Francisco and New York.
Cybersecurity firm Infoblox reveals that over 90 percent of parked domains now redirect visitors to scams and malware, making simple typos extremely dangerous.
The Fox News AI Newsletter covers the latest artificial intelligence technology advancements, including the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
GPT-5.2 is now live for all ChatGPT users with improved coding, writing and image interpretation, with Kurt Knutsson offering his review.
New iPhone replacement scam uses pressure tactics and fake carrier calls to steal devices from buyers. Criminals claim shipping errors and demand urgent returns.
Amazon Ring's new facial recognition feature sparks privacy controversy as Electronic Frontier Foundation critics argue the AI upgrade expands surveillance risks.
New Android banking trojan Sturnus steals credentials, reads encrypted messages and controls devices.
Denmark's 3D-printed student village proves automation builds 36 apartments faster than traditional methods. Skovsporet project shows housing future.
Discover Android's new Sound Notifications feature that alerts you to smoke alarms, doorbells, and baby cries even when wearing headphones.
New SantaStealer malware reportedly threatens holiday shoppers with password theft. This Christmas-themed info-stealer targets browsers and crypto wallets.
The Christmas season brings a surge in Netflix phishing scams targeting shoppers with fake emails. Stacey P received convincing scam but verified account first.

What Am I Going To Do With The Rest Of My Life?

Unexpected life changes. Anticipated transitions. Long, sleepless nights. What do... Read More

Do You Know Your Success Barriers?

I can tell, with 95% accuracy, if you are going... Read More

Today I Choose

Here is a great way to create affirmations that may... Read More

Still Mourning That Business Failure!

No one wants to fail. But when in business you... Read More

Six Steps to Personal Success

Trying to keep up with the Jones only drags good,... Read More

Attitude Is The Key To Success

We all want success in life. We want success in... Read More

Catching the W.A.V.E.s of Greatness

Greatness is all around us. From Oprah to Bill Gates... Read More

A Field of Multiple Opportunity

Opportunity is all around us and has many facets, but... Read More

IF and WHEN

IF and WHEN were friends. Every week they met and... Read More

Powering Up Your SUCCESS Mechanisms!

An effective self- concept generates the desire to strive for... Read More

What Is Success Anyway?

Success is creating what you want the way you want... Read More

7 Dynamic Strategies for Creating a Life that Works

Everyone wants a life that works effectively, whether that means... Read More

Changing Your Luck

In this week's New Age Notebook, I am going to... Read More

Top 5 Sources of Energy Drain

Along with time and money, energy is one of your... Read More

Are You the Reason for Your Lack of Success?

Have you ever noticed when playing a video game, or... Read More

Success: Beware The Arrival Syndrome

There is a saying that goes something like this: Getting... Read More

The Gravitational Pull of ANTs, WORMS & FEARS

What is an ANT? An ANT is an acronym for... Read More

What It Takes To Be A Champion

What is a champion really? Sure, all success oriented people... Read More

Learning From Failure--What To Do When You Blow It!

Becoming successful is not easy. We all get tossed around... Read More

Maximizing Your Potential: Using Your Brain to Think

The Chicago Times once printed that Henry Ford was an... Read More

The 7 Keys To Astonishing Success

Here are seven essential keys to success. Use these ideas... Read More

Have You Planned Your New Years Revolutions?

Revolution:a sudden, radical, or complete change a fundamental change in... Read More

Success Lessons From Boxing

Sugar Ray Leonard and Sylvester Stallone recently opened an academy... Read More

It is a Challenge to Succeed

(excerpted from The Challenge to Succeed audio series)It is a... Read More

How to Always Get Whatever You Want

Do You Know You Have the Power to Harness Huge,... Read More

reliable home cleaners Buffalo Grove ..