I received an advanced copy of a book called How Full Is Your Bucket, by Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton. Gallup Press (a renowned company that provides research and scientifically based educational materials) publishes this little gem of a book filled with nuggets of wisdom and inspiration.
In my early twenties I worked in retail sales for many years and had the misfortune to work under a bitter, negative woman. Over time, daily contact with her had begun to erode my self-confidence and self-esteem. Leaving that job to join a large retain chain, I found myself in a positive environment and rose to the position of office manager in less than six months. Being treated with respect and feeling appreciated for my abilities, restored my self-confidence.
That's why I liked this book. It centers on a theme I have been practicing for years ?focusing on what's right about people instead of what's wrong.
Below is an excerpt from page 15:
The Theory of the Bucket and the Dipper
"Each of us has an invisible bucket. It is constantly emptied or filled, depending upon what others say or do to us.
Each of us has an invisible dipper. When we use that dipper to fill each other's bucket by doing and saying things to increase their positive emotions ? we also fill our own bucket. But when we use that dipper to dip from other people's buckets ? by saying or doing things that decrease their positive emotions ? we diminish ourselves.
A full bucket gives us a positive outlook and renewed energy. Every drop in the bucket makes us stronger and more optimistic. But an empty bucket poisons our outlook, saps our energy and undermines our will. So we face a choice every moment of every day: we can fill one another's buckets, or we can dip from them. It's an important choice ? one that profoundly influences our relationships, productivity, health, and happiness. "
Pioneering research studies by Psychology expert John Gottman suggests there is a "magic ratio" of 5:1 (5 positive to 1 negative) in terms of our balance of positive to negative interactions. Meaning: While a single negative interaction can have a strong emotional impact, several positive interactions will refill your bucket.
Being emotionally positive does not suggest that every comment and action should be one of only praise and acknowledgement because dealing with mistakes and helping others to learn and grow is important. The authors say that " positivity must be grounded in reality" or the result may be to create false optimism that is counterproductive and off-putting. But most people do not suffer from too much positive support. While we are not responsible for how people interpret our actions and words, how we deliver a message will affect whether it may be filling or diminishing someone's heart.
According to the Gallup poll:
1. The #1 reason people leave their jobs: They don't feel appreciated.
2. Bad bosses can increase the risk of stroke by 33%.
3. The cost of disengagement or extreme negativity: $250-$300 billion per year.
4. A study found that negative employees can scare off every customer they speak with ? for good.
5. 65% of American received no recognition in the workplace last year.
6. Praise is rare in most workplaces.
7. 9 out of 10 people say they are more productive when they are around positive people.
The bottom line ? sustaining negativity is costly to both business and personal success!
Examples of Filling People's Buckets:
Examples of Dipping into Other People's Buckets:
We are responsible for the amount of power we give to people to influence us. And we are affected by negativity especially when it is consistent.
? By recognizing and appreciating people's talents/gifts, strengths and uniqueness, we increase positive emotions in our relationships, both personally and professionally.
? When we say and do things that evoke positive feelings in people, we also feel good about ourselves. People thrive when they feel respected, appreciated and valued.
? Approaching each interaction with the intent to help others feel good is a powerfull way to initiate new relationships and deepen others.
Want to know how you score in filling people's buckets? Visit www.bucketbook.com to take the Positive Impact Test.
What kind of person are you? A bucket filler or dipper?
What would you change about yourself to be a more supportive person?
In what ways do you bring out the best in the people at work? In your personal life?
Exercise: Over the next 30 days, intentionally practice being a bucket filler to people in your world. Watch what happens!
Copyright 2004, Lorraine Cohen
____________________________________________
Lorraine Cohen of Powerfull Living (http://www.powerfull-living.biz) is a Business Coach and Life Strategist and Team Member of Solo-E (http://www.powerfull-living.biz). Integrating her therapy background with coaching, she helps people make more money, manage their time, increase self-assurance, resolve inner conflict, stay focused on the results they want, and balance work and home life.
____________________________________________
*********** Find more articles like this at http://www.powerfull-living.biz ? Keeping Solo Entrepreneurs Juiced in Business and in Life. Our team of Solo Entrepreneurs are comprised of small business experts who support others in finding business success with the flexibility and freedom to have a life, too. Network with other freelancers, self-employed and Solo Entrepreneurs in our forums, enjoy our articles and newsletter, and find other online training opportunities. ***********
disinfecting cleaning services Winnetka ..About a month ago, I was hit by a car... Read More
Coming up with new dreams and passions can be fun,... Read More
"The more you hate, the more you love."What an ironic... Read More
This summer (2005) huge crowds in England and Australia have... Read More
I was talking about my business to a stranger the... Read More
A person who is illiterate can look at a word... Read More
Have you ever wondered if there was a way to... Read More
Driven by cultural imperatives and inner promptings, we drive ourselves... Read More
Most sports are full of lessons for the discerning. Tennis... Read More
In this brief article we will explore four methods that... Read More
Do you constantly find yourself saying "I can't afford it"... Read More
"Don't get caught up in the how of things. If... Read More
It's simple and powerful.The philosophy of successful people is often... Read More
To achieve what you want, what you desire, needs a... Read More
The greatest deterrent to success in life is fear. It... Read More
You have complete control over your thoughts. Thought patterns develop... Read More
With the long-term trend of protecting employees' individual self esteem... Read More
Management by Objectives, strategic planning, quality, teams, re-engineering. Passing management... Read More
I call the following seven belief lies of success, taking... Read More
In Latin the word means 'to dare'.This word is so... Read More
They 'do it' by sharpening their FOCUS on the task... Read More
I spoke recently with the owner of a large clothing... Read More
Do you remember when you were a child and no... Read More
On your journey to moving past using food to cope... Read More
When entering second adulthood, many women will begin a journey... Read More
last minute cleaning help Highland Park ..Revolution:a sudden, radical, or complete change a fundamental change in... Read More
Overnight success seems to be happening to a lot of... Read More
We're all adults, and most of us probably like to... Read More
Life is not a competition.Not at all. Life itself is... Read More
Do you ever wonder how some people consistently get what... Read More
Do you feel like your stuck?No matter what you do,... Read More
Many UK citizens want to settle or retire in Spain... Read More
I would like to use this medium to introduce my... Read More
How many times have you thought about being successful, famous,... Read More
There are "How to" seminars on virtually every business topic.... Read More
Fourteen thousand civilised people died when the tsunami hit Andaman... Read More
What does a sharp saw have to do with lifelong... Read More
Success isn't all that it's cracked up to be... I'm... Read More
Why do so many of us lack belief in ourselves?... Read More
In this article we mention 7 tips for your success.... Read More
Have you ever heard of the "secrets of success"? Many... Read More
Our expectations get us into a lot of trouble and... Read More
Have you ever thought about how you want to live,... Read More
Success is something that happens all by itself once you've... Read More
A company entitled "Made for Success" begs the question: Just... Read More
This revelation hit me the other day while I was... Read More
Have you been struggling for years to accomplish some goals... Read More
If you called my office you will hear my voice... Read More
In my work with clients, the issue of perspectives comes... Read More
Be weary and leery when it comes to standardized tests... Read More
Success |