I received an advanced copy of a book called How Full Is Your Bucket, by Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton. Gallup Press (a renowned company that provides research and scientifically based educational materials) publishes this little gem of a book filled with nuggets of wisdom and inspiration.
In my early twenties I worked in retail sales for many years and had the misfortune to work under a bitter, negative woman. Over time, daily contact with her had begun to erode my self-confidence and self-esteem. Leaving that job to join a large retain chain, I found myself in a positive environment and rose to the position of office manager in less than six months. Being treated with respect and feeling appreciated for my abilities, restored my self-confidence.
That's why I liked this book. It centers on a theme I have been practicing for years ?focusing on what's right about people instead of what's wrong.
Below is an excerpt from page 15:
The Theory of the Bucket and the Dipper
"Each of us has an invisible bucket. It is constantly emptied or filled, depending upon what others say or do to us.
Each of us has an invisible dipper. When we use that dipper to fill each other's bucket by doing and saying things to increase their positive emotions ? we also fill our own bucket. But when we use that dipper to dip from other people's buckets ? by saying or doing things that decrease their positive emotions ? we diminish ourselves.
A full bucket gives us a positive outlook and renewed energy. Every drop in the bucket makes us stronger and more optimistic. But an empty bucket poisons our outlook, saps our energy and undermines our will. So we face a choice every moment of every day: we can fill one another's buckets, or we can dip from them. It's an important choice ? one that profoundly influences our relationships, productivity, health, and happiness. "
Pioneering research studies by Psychology expert John Gottman suggests there is a "magic ratio" of 5:1 (5 positive to 1 negative) in terms of our balance of positive to negative interactions. Meaning: While a single negative interaction can have a strong emotional impact, several positive interactions will refill your bucket.
Being emotionally positive does not suggest that every comment and action should be one of only praise and acknowledgement because dealing with mistakes and helping others to learn and grow is important. The authors say that " positivity must be grounded in reality" or the result may be to create false optimism that is counterproductive and off-putting. But most people do not suffer from too much positive support. While we are not responsible for how people interpret our actions and words, how we deliver a message will affect whether it may be filling or diminishing someone's heart.
According to the Gallup poll:
1. The #1 reason people leave their jobs: They don't feel appreciated.
2. Bad bosses can increase the risk of stroke by 33%.
3. The cost of disengagement or extreme negativity: $250-$300 billion per year.
4. A study found that negative employees can scare off every customer they speak with ? for good.
5. 65% of American received no recognition in the workplace last year.
6. Praise is rare in most workplaces.
7. 9 out of 10 people say they are more productive when they are around positive people.
The bottom line ? sustaining negativity is costly to both business and personal success!
Examples of Filling People's Buckets:
Examples of Dipping into Other People's Buckets:
We are responsible for the amount of power we give to people to influence us. And we are affected by negativity especially when it is consistent.
? By recognizing and appreciating people's talents/gifts, strengths and uniqueness, we increase positive emotions in our relationships, both personally and professionally.
? When we say and do things that evoke positive feelings in people, we also feel good about ourselves. People thrive when they feel respected, appreciated and valued.
? Approaching each interaction with the intent to help others feel good is a powerfull way to initiate new relationships and deepen others.
Want to know how you score in filling people's buckets? Visit www.bucketbook.com to take the Positive Impact Test.
What kind of person are you? A bucket filler or dipper?
What would you change about yourself to be a more supportive person?
In what ways do you bring out the best in the people at work? In your personal life?
Exercise: Over the next 30 days, intentionally practice being a bucket filler to people in your world. Watch what happens!
Copyright 2004, Lorraine Cohen
____________________________________________
Lorraine Cohen of Powerfull Living (http://www.powerfull-living.biz) is a Business Coach and Life Strategist and Team Member of Solo-E (http://www.powerfull-living.biz). Integrating her therapy background with coaching, she helps people make more money, manage their time, increase self-assurance, resolve inner conflict, stay focused on the results they want, and balance work and home life.
____________________________________________
*********** Find more articles like this at http://www.powerfull-living.biz ? Keeping Solo Entrepreneurs Juiced in Business and in Life. Our team of Solo Entrepreneurs are comprised of small business experts who support others in finding business success with the flexibility and freedom to have a life, too. Network with other freelancers, self-employed and Solo Entrepreneurs in our forums, enjoy our articles and newsletter, and find other online training opportunities. ***********
family-safe home cleaners Lincolnshire .."Perseverance allows you to get back on track when you... Read More
One way to become more successful in your life is... Read More
Greatness is all around us. From Oprah to Bill Gates... Read More
Be weary and leery when it comes to standardized tests... Read More
Never settle for what you can currently imagine You are... Read More
The story that is being used to illustrate the concepts... Read More
Most dictionary entries would define failure as the simple lack... Read More
This revelation hit me the other day while I was... Read More
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our... Read More
Think back to a time in your life when you... Read More
Are you looking for the secret or magical formula for... Read More
Everyone talks about how to be successful through hard work... Read More
For centuries Protestant Christians have argued that you can reach... Read More
Many among us, on many instances, have the habit of... Read More
With the long-term trend of protecting employees' individual self esteem... Read More
We all want success in life. We want success in... Read More
Imagine you are a fire. Fires burn at different levels... Read More
Are there any universal laws that most successful people seem... Read More
Our thought are magnetic ! Like a magnet we attract... Read More
However there is one success secret that costs nothing. And... Read More
Are you on the right track?Stop for a while, look... Read More
Having clear goals and desires for our future, and planning... Read More
A farmer in Pennsylvania decided to sell his farm, but... Read More
They 'do it' by sharpening their FOCUS on the task... Read More
How many times have people asked you what you really... Read More
maide service in Buffalo Grove ..A young girl opens a birthday card from her grand... Read More
Why do some people end up with boring jobs living... Read More
We speak every day without fully recognizing the impact our... Read More
"Perseverance allows you to get back on track when you... Read More
Okay, so you've finally made that big decision to start... Read More
"I am the greatest warrior. I have fought with gods... Read More
If you are looking for a surefire strategy to ensure... Read More
The ten-year period which followed the stock market crash of... Read More
I don't need to be a gypsy fortune teller to... Read More
Sugar Ray Leonard and Sylvester Stallone have recently hosted a... Read More
Our lives and the circumstances we live in are largely... Read More
The ability to make good decisions is an essential step... Read More
When you hear the words "abundance" and "prosperity", what immediately... Read More
Do you ever wonder how some people consistently get what... Read More
Measure twice, cut once Just as in carpentry, making sure... Read More
Wealth is more than money. It's abundance, or as the... Read More
Language constitutes our belief system. What we believe is true... Read More
Start a "round robin" goal letter with others who need... Read More
"And when it rains on your parade, look up rather... Read More
In this week's New Age Notebook, I am going to... Read More
The gambling instinct is in every man or woman. All... Read More
An effective self- concept generates the desire to strive for... Read More
There is a close link between respect for another person's... Read More
Periodically re-check and refine (or redefine) your goals It's no... Read More
Whenever I'm feeling stuck in a rut, I go out... Read More
Success |