I received an advanced copy of a book called How Full Is Your Bucket, by Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton. Gallup Press (a renowned company that provides research and scientifically based educational materials) publishes this little gem of a book filled with nuggets of wisdom and inspiration.
In my early twenties I worked in retail sales for many years and had the misfortune to work under a bitter, negative woman. Over time, daily contact with her had begun to erode my self-confidence and self-esteem. Leaving that job to join a large retain chain, I found myself in a positive environment and rose to the position of office manager in less than six months. Being treated with respect and feeling appreciated for my abilities, restored my self-confidence.
That's why I liked this book. It centers on a theme I have been practicing for years ?focusing on what's right about people instead of what's wrong.
Below is an excerpt from page 15:
The Theory of the Bucket and the Dipper
"Each of us has an invisible bucket. It is constantly emptied or filled, depending upon what others say or do to us.
Each of us has an invisible dipper. When we use that dipper to fill each other's bucket by doing and saying things to increase their positive emotions ? we also fill our own bucket. But when we use that dipper to dip from other people's buckets ? by saying or doing things that decrease their positive emotions ? we diminish ourselves.
A full bucket gives us a positive outlook and renewed energy. Every drop in the bucket makes us stronger and more optimistic. But an empty bucket poisons our outlook, saps our energy and undermines our will. So we face a choice every moment of every day: we can fill one another's buckets, or we can dip from them. It's an important choice ? one that profoundly influences our relationships, productivity, health, and happiness. "
Pioneering research studies by Psychology expert John Gottman suggests there is a "magic ratio" of 5:1 (5 positive to 1 negative) in terms of our balance of positive to negative interactions. Meaning: While a single negative interaction can have a strong emotional impact, several positive interactions will refill your bucket.
Being emotionally positive does not suggest that every comment and action should be one of only praise and acknowledgement because dealing with mistakes and helping others to learn and grow is important. The authors say that " positivity must be grounded in reality" or the result may be to create false optimism that is counterproductive and off-putting. But most people do not suffer from too much positive support. While we are not responsible for how people interpret our actions and words, how we deliver a message will affect whether it may be filling or diminishing someone's heart.
According to the Gallup poll:
1. The #1 reason people leave their jobs: They don't feel appreciated.
2. Bad bosses can increase the risk of stroke by 33%.
3. The cost of disengagement or extreme negativity: $250-$300 billion per year.
4. A study found that negative employees can scare off every customer they speak with ? for good.
5. 65% of American received no recognition in the workplace last year.
6. Praise is rare in most workplaces.
7. 9 out of 10 people say they are more productive when they are around positive people.
The bottom line ? sustaining negativity is costly to both business and personal success!
Examples of Filling People's Buckets:
Examples of Dipping into Other People's Buckets:
We are responsible for the amount of power we give to people to influence us. And we are affected by negativity especially when it is consistent.
? By recognizing and appreciating people's talents/gifts, strengths and uniqueness, we increase positive emotions in our relationships, both personally and professionally.
? When we say and do things that evoke positive feelings in people, we also feel good about ourselves. People thrive when they feel respected, appreciated and valued.
? Approaching each interaction with the intent to help others feel good is a powerfull way to initiate new relationships and deepen others.
Want to know how you score in filling people's buckets? Visit www.bucketbook.com to take the Positive Impact Test.
What kind of person are you? A bucket filler or dipper?
What would you change about yourself to be a more supportive person?
In what ways do you bring out the best in the people at work? In your personal life?
Exercise: Over the next 30 days, intentionally practice being a bucket filler to people in your world. Watch what happens!
Copyright 2004, Lorraine Cohen
____________________________________________
Lorraine Cohen of Powerfull Living (http://www.powerfull-living.biz) is a Business Coach and Life Strategist and Team Member of Solo-E (http://www.powerfull-living.biz). Integrating her therapy background with coaching, she helps people make more money, manage their time, increase self-assurance, resolve inner conflict, stay focused on the results they want, and balance work and home life.
____________________________________________
*********** Find more articles like this at http://www.powerfull-living.biz ? Keeping Solo Entrepreneurs Juiced in Business and in Life. Our team of Solo Entrepreneurs are comprised of small business experts who support others in finding business success with the flexibility and freedom to have a life, too. Network with other freelancers, self-employed and Solo Entrepreneurs in our forums, enjoy our articles and newsletter, and find other online training opportunities. ***********
post construction cleaning Deerfield ..The best way to predict your future is to create... Read More
Remove these words from your vocabulary!The words "If only ?"... Read More
Have you ever met people who exude charm and charisma?... Read More
"Things might have been worse"This is the most powerful, dynamic,... Read More
In this brief article we will explore four methods that... Read More
Have you ever felt as if you are beating your... Read More
How does an online marketer define success ? There are... Read More
Make a game out of reaching your goals Go to... Read More
The First step to success is to think and decide... Read More
When traveling down the road it is always good to... Read More
I have written much about how, in order to have... Read More
Many different daily tasks require a strategic process to be... Read More
Wow, what an outrageous claim! Why do I say this?... Read More
Whenever I ask people this question, "what do you really... Read More
Coming up with new dreams and passions can be fun,... Read More
Today I feel inspired that I should speak more to... Read More
"If you want to increase your success rate, double your... Read More
If we hope to achieve any worthwhile goal it will... Read More
Believe it or not, there is a special 3-step formula... Read More
"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in... Read More
What do you need to have for a successful business?... Read More
People like to emerge as winners by hook or crook... Read More
Napoleon Hill, the famous inspirational writer, once met a reader... Read More
Thoughts move faster than the speed of light.Expectations jump faster... Read More
Thomas Edison wrote his quote " I have not failed,... Read More
Airbnb cleaning service Bannockburn ..If failure is the roadway, then Perseverance is the vehicle... Read More
Do you still keep that all important 'Inner Spark Alive'?... Read More
I am going to tell you something you already know... Read More
Delegate your life If you're having problems finding the time... Read More
With topics in personal development ranging from goal setting to... Read More
Here is a great way to create affirmations that may... Read More
Too many times in the pursuit of our dreams, we... Read More
Identity theft!We've all seen them. The commercials use the voices... Read More
In the first part of this article you learned some... Read More
Material or physical success is often measured by the level... Read More
I remember, about 35 years ago, reading two books by... Read More
Often, what people say about other people behind their backs... Read More
Have you failed before and wished the earth could open... Read More
A Lifelong Learning Plan is a conscious, continuous engagement in... Read More
Self-improvement; A great deal has been written on the subject,... Read More
What's holding you back?One of my clients came to me... Read More
In this week's New Age Notebook, I am going to... Read More
Accelerated learning is not only practical, it is profitable. Acquiring... Read More
You teach others how to treat you by how you... Read More
Self-sabotage is one key factor that keeps our business from... Read More
No one becomes successful by accident. Success requires making a... Read More
To achieve what you want, what you desire, needs a... Read More
It has been truly said, and history confirms, that the... Read More
So you've bought into the idea that you need to... Read More
When traveling down the road it is always good to... Read More
Success |