Home
>
Success
>
Life Lesson--Be, Do, Have

Life Lesson--Be, Do, Have

This revelation hit me the other day while I was listening to a cassette on having financial balance in your life. On the tape, the author talked about a goal setting seminar he went to. The lesson he was revealing is that too often when we set goals, we are setting the "have" part of the equation, then "doing" the work of getting to the goal without ever making the effort to "be" anything.

If you're paying attention, there's a math lesson that translates to this message. Any math person will tell you that there is a definite order to life. A + B = C, and if you get it out of that order, even the simplest of ideas can become overwhelmingly confusing. So this equation must begin with "be" not "do" or "have."

For example, people set a goal of meeting the right person. That is the "have" that they want, so they begin "doing" the things the world says make sense to get to that goal. They go to bars, they go to church, they go to work, they go to parties, they go to school-all with the spoken or unspoken intention of acquiring what they do not have, a partner. Years ago they called the females with this mindset, "Mrs. Majors." They were not in college to get a degree; they were in college to get a husband.

In today's world some of these types-men and women-have the "have" and "do" parts down to a science. One manifestation of this is the book, "The Rules." This book purports to explain exactly what you have to "do" to get the goal of "having" a mate. The problem is that this is completely senseless when you understand the equation of "be-do-have."

When you truly get this life lesson, it will have a profound impact on every aspect of your life. No longer will you focus solely on the goal-now you will focus on who you must first become, and the attainment of the goals will follow.

I know, it sounds Pollyanna. It sounds so simple. But it's the simple-sounding things that are often the most difficult to actually do. I see this turmoil in teenagers a lot. They think that their identity is created by who they are with, what they wear, what their outward appearance is. The reality, however, is that identity is based on who you are.

That's why you hear of 10- and 20-year high school reunions in which the popular kids are now struggling and some of the most unpopular kids are now the successful adults. When you understand this equation, it makes perfect sense. Think about it. In high school, the "popular" kids already "have." They have the status, the good looks, the admiration of others. Why work for something you already have?

The unpopular kids on the other hand are forced to find their true identity not in the outer world, but in the inner world. So they work on themselves rather than on what the outside world says is important. Thus, 10 or 20 years down the road, they who have been forced to "be" are now "doing" and "having" in much greater proportion than those who "had" everything. To be sure, this is a vast generalization. There are popular kids who take time out to work on themselves and "become," and there are unpopular kids who want to "have" so badly that they contort who they are trying to fit in. The exceptions are there, but so is the rule.

You have to be before you can do, and you have to do before you can have. If you don't, nothing you ever get will be enough. And if you do, whatever you have will be plenty. With this in mind, find some time today to fit a little "being" time into your "to-do" list. It may just turn out to be the best time investment you could ever make.

Life can make sense again! Sign up for the monthly newsletter by Staci Stallings, the author of this article. Insights, quotes, inspiration and even a free novel by Staci sent two chapters at a time! To sign up, send a blank email to: newsletter@stacistallings.com You'll feel better for the experience!

detailed home cleaning Lake Forest ..

In The News:

The Jetsons Act aims to position Pennsylvania as a leader in advanced air mobility by establishing regulations for hybrid ground-air vehicles.

Fake Geek Squad invoice emails are targeting users with convincing charges and urgent phone numbers to steal personal information and money.

Fox News Digital's artificial intelligence newsletter digs into a robot in Russia that faceplanted, George Clooney's alarm and OpenAI's rivalry with the New York Times.

Major data breach at Conduent exposes personal information of 10+ million people. Government contractor hit by cyberattack affecting Medicaid, child support systems.

Texas startup Janta Power raises $5.5M for innovative vertical solar towers that generate 50% more energy than traditional panels while using just one-third the land.

NASA's twin ESCAPADE spacecraft launched aboard Blue Origin's New Glenn rocket Thursday afternoon from Cape Canaveral, beginning their journey to Mars with arrival expected in 2027.

Learn how to set email reminders on iPhone and Android so you never forget to reply again. Simple built-in features help you stay organized and on top of messages.

Discover how Apple's passkeys revolutionize Mac security by replacing vulnerable passwords with biometric authentication and encryption for ultimate protection.

New survey reveals 78% of parents fear AI scams targeting their kids, yet nearly half haven't discussed these threats. Learn why this dangerous gap exists.

Chrome now autofills passport and driver's license info automatically. Google's latest browser update adds official document support with encryption and user control.

Scammers impersonate Department of Veterans Affairs employees claiming veterans owe money, but real VA communications only direct to VA.gov or official channels.

The AltoVolo Sigma hybrid-electric aircraft flies 500 miles at 220 mph while operating 80% quieter than helicopters, featuring safety systems and compact design.

Google search scam alert: fake customer service numbers can give scammers remote control of your phone. Learn how to spot these traps and protect yourself.

Electric vehicles overtake gas cars in total CO2 savings after just two years of driving, with emissions benefits growing over time as power grids get cleaner.

Louvre Museum reportedly used "Louvre" as password for surveillance system during $100M jewel heist. Learn how weak passwords put even famous institutions at risk.

Bipartisan AI jobs bill from Sens. Hawley and Warner would require companies to report AI-related layoffs and hiring to Department of Labor quarterly.

Joe A. from Shelton, Connecticut, lost $228,000 to a ZAP Solutions cryptocurrency investment scam after his divorce, highlighting rising online fraud.

AI-powered autonomous trucks from Waabi and Volvo target U.S. freight driver shortage with Level 4 self-driving technology and NVIDIA computing platform integration.

Survive flight disruptions with expert travel tips: Book early morning flights, download airline apps and know your refund rights during service cuts.

Apple's iOS 26.1 update delivers major security fixes, performance boosts and enhanced privacy controls for your iPhone. Discover why updating now protects your data.

Russian hackers use fake CAPTCHA tests to spread dangerous malware targeting governments and journalists. Learn how to protect yourself from these deceptive attacks.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Miami-Dade debuts America's first autonomous police SUV with AI cameras, drone deployment and real-time crime detection in groundbreaking law enforcement pilot.

Bank impostor scams cost Americans $2.9 billion as criminals use AI voices and caller ID spoofing to steal life savings. Learn nine essential fraud protection tips.

Foreign-owned apps secretly harvest personal data from seniors, making them prime targets for scams. Learn how to protect your privacy and stop data brokers today.

Life Lesson--Be, Do, Have

Success