We are repeatedly told that we should forget about unpleasant experiences (failures) and focus on pleasant ones (successes).
I agree totally with the last part of this proposition but only partly with the bit on forgetting about your unpleasant experiences.
Rather, I think unpleasant experiences must be confronted and "neutralized", otherwise they will always be lurking in your subconscious, ever ready to pounce upon you.
Don't delude yourself into thinking that they can simply and safely be swept under the carpet. Pull them right out and cut them down to size.
Clip their wings before they come back out to haunt you and poison your life.
These are ferocious little beasts that create pernicious feelings of guilt, anger, powerlessness leading straight to anxiety, depression and lowered self-esteem.
These are creatures of Darkness and nothing terrifies them as much as Light.
Pull them out and examine them in broad daylight and then you'll realize they are not as terrible as they seem.
In broad daylight, they melt away and become not just innocuous but even useful: they teach you lessons in what NOT to do.
And that is how you can learn from failure and turn negative experiences into positive, highly empowering lessons.
And "all's well that ends well"!
In the words of Dr. Jill Ammon-Wexler: "Every successful person throughout history has also faced and dealt with their own personal collection of fears and negative internal messages".
Anybody can do it!
Reserve some time to be by yourself or, better still, at night, before you fall off to sleep
1. Make a list of all your unpleasant experiences, all that you can remember, as far back as you can remember. Don't force yourself. Just take it easy
2. Carefully examine each one of those experiences and answer the following questions, as accurately as possible :
What happened exactly? Why? Where was it? When was it? How did it end? Why do you consider it as a negative experience? What might have been the consequences if it had ended otherwise (Envisage as many possible consequences as possible)? Don't you think things might have been worse if it had ended otherwise (Are you sure it wasn't a blessing in disguise, after all)?
3. After asking and answering all those questions, you'll find yourself relieved, as if a terrible weight had been lifted off your shoulders.
Your "negative experience" has now been reduced to its rightful size and rendered innocuous by being examined in the Light of Day. It will no longer come to haunt you.
4. From now on, you will do the same with even your most recent negative experiences and you'll soon feel that these will happen more and more rarely.
When you sit and examine your life, you'll see more and more success, less and less failure. You will carry out this exercise from time to time, maybe once a week.
5. Now get up and stand upright, Shake the dust of negative experiences off your clothes and move forward, fully aware that: You are the Maker and Owner of your Destiny.
So, why allow yourself to be ruled by your own creature and property?
Why keep worshipping a God you make with your own hands?
Focus on positive thoughts but also make sure you "neutralize" all negative thoughts!
A.M.Sall - author, coach, success mindset strategist
A 30+year experience - translator, teacher, traveler, musician, writer, plus crosscultural awareness, worldwide ancient spiritual traditions... Success Mindset Philosopher A.M.Sall helps you "be whatever you want to be and get whatever you want to get." http://www.health-beauty-wellness.com/negative.htm
Batchtown Chicago prom limo .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareAs very few people achieve enlightenment in one lifetime, as... Read More
I would like to use this medium to introduce my... Read More
Do you ever wonder how some people consistently get what... Read More
Since December 1st 2004, I have written one article or... Read More
Did you know that your past, present, and future can... Read More
Sugar Ray Leonard and Sylvester Stallone have recently hosted a... Read More
Ok, let me tell you what I mean.As some of... Read More
To make change effective, you have to BE what you... Read More
When entering second adulthood, many women will begin a journey... Read More
How do we define success? Webster's dictionary defines success as... Read More
One of my absolute favorite quotes is from Dwight D.... Read More
We all want success in life. We want success in... Read More
What makes you unique? Answering this question will provide the... Read More
When you analyze the traits of successful people, you will... Read More
Adults, with eyes to see, can learn so much about... Read More
Do you ever stop to consider how much we change... Read More
When I was in college, I heard someone say something... Read More
Depending on the person, challenges can either make or break... Read More
Ten years ago I went into the studio and recorded... Read More
Ray Winstone, the London East End barrow boy, who became... Read More
Visualize success, and what you'll do to reward yourself A... Read More
Lesson 1. Category Well Being Plan to do this.Stop blaming... Read More
Jim Rohn, noted leader and speaker in the personal development... Read More
I have been studying several books lately that deal with... Read More
The world is full of people with great intentions. They... Read More
shuttle from Midway Munster are ..Coming up with new dreams and passions can be fun,... Read More
"If you can tell the world who you are and... Read More
Everyone wants success.Some people spend their every waking moment pursuing... Read More
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our... Read More
Jim Rohn, noted leader and speaker in the personal development... Read More
What does "Lessons from My Garden" have to do with... Read More
Step 1 ? Learn a powerful key to increase financial... Read More
In my work with clients, the issue of perspectives comes... Read More
What do you need to have for a successful business?... Read More
Many among us, on many instances, have the habit of... Read More
Exercising is not one of my favorite pastimes but I... Read More
I see it happen all too often on the internet... Read More
Fear, or negative anxiety, is the modern day bubonic plague,... Read More
Overnight success seems to be happening to a lot of... Read More
If you ask most people whether they would like to... Read More
Along with time and money, energy is one of your... Read More
Success is the most desired ambition of the human beings.... Read More
What makes you unique? Answering this question will provide the... Read More
Success could be just about making money, but I think... Read More
The 90/10 secret is incredible! Very few know and apply... Read More
Failure is GreatYou are probably asking yourself what could be... Read More
So many of us want success, but how many of... Read More
Accelerated learning is not only practical, it is profitable. Acquiring... Read More
In the film 'The Rock', Sean Connery takes a dim... Read More
What are your fears? Fear of failure? Fear of success?What... Read More
Success |