After 13 years of being married to the same woman and working for the same employer, I had a crisis in motivation. My marriage, ended in an unmitigated emotional and financial disaster. In short order, my career path went awry as I was 'reorganized' out of a job. My life seemed to be a study in chaos and failure. I felt somehow cheated. At 38, I was too young to quit, but felt too old to start over. I'd strived to be the devoted husband, model citizen, the ?ber employee. Still, I lost. Or did I? How was I measuring success? Weren't my efforts to be my best worthwhile? These are questions most of us will struggle with a few times in our lives. How we answer them will either fuel us for further progress or immolate us in a bonfire of self defeatism.
Dan Marino never won a championship. In pee wee, high school, college, or professional football, 'Dan the Man' never won it all. How is that possible that the greatest quarterback ever to pick up a football retired without "the ring"? How in the cosmic order, could a person excel so well at what he does and come up empty-handed? How then, can success or greatness be defined?
"It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game." To anybody who's ever really competed in anything, that aphorism is as hollow as a jack-o-lantern. We all want to win. We're hardwired for it. The traditional model of winning always involves direct competition. Today, though, 'winning' has morphed into beating countless, faceless 'others' in anything--having the hottest relationship, most impressive title, or the most money in the bank.
The truth is, however, we all don't get to drink from the victors' cup. This reality should encourage us to consider motivations that transcend besting others.
Personal excellence is a more consistent and accessible motivator because it comes from within. Achieving excellence in the pursuit of our goals isn't about the mark others set. Excelling is about us reaching our own best marks. When you excel, you win the only game worth playing.
When I was 22, I was with presented a definition of success that forever changed my outlook. "Success is the progressive realization of worthy goals." How revolutionary! You mean that I wasn't a success only when completed to goal, but while I still was attaining it? This meant for me that success was no longer tied to winning the race, or even finishing it. Success and winning were about running the best race that I could.
Could it be that easy? Why not? You can have abundance and joy in your life by setting your bar as high as you can dream and excelling at your own game. There's no competition, but infinite rewards. By this personal standard, I had two successful 13-year runs. The marriage may have ended, but I stayed committed and remain a loving father and loyal friend. The career my have taken a surprising turn, but I added value to the organization and still do my work and serve my customers with distinction. Score: Me:2 Other People's Standards: 0. Game. Set. Match.
Most football fans know that Dan "the Man's" records will last the ages. When asked what drove him to play so well for so long, his answer was simple and profound. He loves to throw balls. The actual act of launching a ball the best he could was his greatest motivator. It's amazing what towers we can build from the most humble of stones. When we pursue our passion, we find our purpose and become great along the way. The world may never see it, but we become champions nonetheless, enshrined forever in the halls of destiny.
David L. Cole is a speaker, trainer, and writer who empowers people seeking personal excellence, professional distinction, and positive social change.
He earned a Masters Degree in Educational Leadership and spent 13 years as a higher education professional. Currently he provides principle-based training through keynotes, workshops, and coaching. David helps individuals, organizations, and communities enhance their roles as scholars, leaders and citizens.
You can find out more about his work at http://davidlcole.com
You can reach David at http://davidlcole.com
recurring cleaning service Wilmette ..A wonderful quote by author and scholar William A. Ward... Read More
Why everything has to be so hard? What have I... Read More
My life is a bubble; but how much solid cash... Read More
Why is true success so rare?Why does research show that... Read More
Three key words to remember: weigh, count and measure. Now,... Read More
For every disciplined effort, there are multiple rewards. That's one... Read More
Over the years many people have offered their models of... Read More
To have a high probability of becoming prosperous, you have... Read More
In the film 'The Rock', Sean Connery takes a dim... Read More
Success isn't all that it's cracked up to be... I'm... Read More
Of course by now we are all becoming aware of... Read More
This past Memorial Day weekend I decided to revisit my... Read More
Successful people set ambitious goals. But the high standards and... Read More
Want to make success a habit in your life? If... Read More
Fear, or negative anxiety, is the modern day bubonic plague,... Read More
Is it difficult to be professional?I think from my experience... Read More
For each of us, how successful we feel will depend... Read More
Success begins with a personal dream that is bigger than... Read More
Your ability to deal constructively and effectively with mistakes and... Read More
Magic doesn't have to be complicated. Here are some very... Read More
We speak every day without fully recognizing the impact our... Read More
Study hard, get good grades and you will have a... Read More
These days success is a hotly debated subject. Nevertheless, people... Read More
If you'd like to fulfill your long-held dreams, try a... Read More
The difference between success and failure is based on behavior.... Read More
reliable maid service Morton Grove ..When you are in business every person you hire gets... Read More
I received an advanced copy of a book called How... Read More
Are you getting frustrated because the work you continue to... Read More
Pops first set the goal in high school, but when... Read More
What are your fears? Fear of failure? Fear of success?What... Read More
What characteristics are common among successful people. If you analyze... Read More
I'll be the first to admit that everyone has his... Read More
The problem with writing about success is that almost everything... Read More
Coming up with new dreams and passions can be fun,... Read More
Overnight success seems to be happening to a lot of... Read More
No matter how young or old you are, you must... Read More
"Don't get caught up in the how of things. If... Read More
There are so many internet marketing schemes out there so... Read More
In this week's New Age Notebook, I am going to... Read More
Do you constantly find yourself saying "I can't afford it"... Read More
As kind of a hobby I like to watch people.... Read More
Thomas Edison wrote his quote " I have not failed,... Read More
Do you ever wonder how some people consistently get what... Read More
When entering second adulthood, many women will begin a journey... Read More
This morning, on TV, I was amazed to see how... Read More
Can anyone become a successful businessperson? I am asked this... Read More
The First step to success is to think and decide... Read More
Trying to keep up with the Jones only drags good,... Read More
"See, I told you so," she emailed me, "it turned... Read More
Start a "round robin" goal letter with others who need... Read More
Success |