Fear, or negative anxiety, is the modern day bubonic plague, infecting millions upon millions of people. It spreads with viral effect, and leaves behind consequences of mediocrity and regret. This "plague" is partly due to societal influences (particularly in a post-9/11 era) and partly due to individual issues (the tendency to avoid confrontation of that which we fear). However, whatever the cause, a vaccine is available, and it takes the form of moving towards that which we are most afraid of. Immediately.
Fear as an acronym stands for "False Evidence Appearing Real". This false evidence can take many forms, but the key is that it appears real. We perceive something to be scarier than it really is. One good example can be found in sports, when we fear losing (or failing). Think about it: Is there really anything to be scared of? If you do in fact lose, what then will happen? Sure, it might be painful, but hasn't everyone lost at one point or another in competition? Of course! So why fear losing if it happens to everyone? Not only is fear of losing or failure a waste of time-it also puts you in a reactive, more passive mode of competing. Reactive, passive competitors are more likely to perform poorly in a competitive environment. So don't waste your time fearing losing. Instead, spend your time:
1. Identifying your biggest fears (in sport, in competition, in life). These are the fears that hold you back the most. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of injury, fear of risk taking.
What are the consequences of harboring some of these fears?
-Fear of failure: you will never fully give all of yourself to competition if you are afraid of losing
-Fear of success: you're less likely to win, obviously, if you have mixed emotions about being able to deal with success (and the responsibilities that come with it)
-Fear of injury: you're more likely to be injured, as you will be more tentative
-Fear of risk-taking: you'll never risk, and therefore, never gain.
2. Setting about a plan to attack these "falsehoods". Without a plan, there is no prescription for removal of these fears.
Dr. Smith's prescriptions:
-For fear of failure: Go out and fail on a daily basis. Get used to it, because humans do fail, and you are human. Might as well learn to live with it.
-For fear of success: Get straight in your mind that success is a great alternative to mediocrity. Really.
-For fear of injury: Get back on the bull (so to speak) as soon as possible after being injured (but cleared to compete). The longer you wait, the greater your fear will be.
-For fear of risk-taking: take risks, but on a large and frequent scale, and in every area of your life. Ask people out on dates. Ask for favors. Tell someone who is bugging you how you really feel. Ask a sport psychologist for assistance. (Just kidding, but not really!)
3. Moving towards instead of away from these fears. You will discover that the closer you move towards that which you fear, the less scary those fears are. Sort of like the first time you stood up to the school bully and realized that he or she was not so tough when confronted. You were perceiving based on "false evidence".
Moving towards fear in your daily life means doing that which you hate/detest/fear/loathe/don't want to do, and doing that thing first, before all else. For me, that means going jogging at 7 am on these dark, winter mornings. For you it might mean something else. However, the key to beating back our irrational and disabling fears is to run, not walk, towards them at every chance. By doing so, you will prove to yourself how silly those fears are in the first place, as they provide no inherent value in your life. They merely hold you back from reaching your true potential.
Copyright (2003) Leif H. Smith, Psy.D. All rights reserved.
Performance expert Leif H. Smith, Psy.D, is the president of Personal Best Consulting, a consulting firm located in Hilliard, Ohio. To learn more tips and techniques to immediately improve performance in your life and to sign up for his FREE monthly advice newsletter, visit http://www.personalbestconsulting.com
weekly home cleaning Highland Park ..Three key words to remember: weigh, count and measure. Now,... Read More
One of the first things most of us remember hearing... Read More
I prefer to call the challenges, obstacles, side-tracks, and barriers... Read More
Success is a word that is much used in our... Read More
Change is one of the biggest concepts facing today's society.... Read More
(excerpted from The Challenge to Succeed audio series)It is a... Read More
Everyone wants success.Some people spend their every waking moment pursuing... Read More
Routinely, I rise out of bed before the birds, and... Read More
I am writing this article to cement two key success... Read More
Start a "round robin" goal letter with others who need... Read More
Of course by now we are all becoming aware of... Read More
I've long been a student of those who have achieved... Read More
There is a close link between respect for another person's... Read More
"If you want to increase your success rate, double your... Read More
Having clear goals and desires for our future, and planning... Read More
So you want to be successful (whatever that means to... Read More
Does your life feel less than fulfilling? Are you waiting... Read More
One of my absolute favorite quotes is from Dwight D.... Read More
In his audio e-book, 10 Habits to Swell Your Bank... Read More
As a professional speaker, father and business owner I often... Read More
Think back to a time in your life when you... Read More
"I have learned, that if one advances confidently in the... Read More
The approach of a new year usually causes us to... Read More
I wrote an article on this very subject, with the... Read More
Noted author and self-worth teacher Eric Butterworth* says, "Poverty is... Read More
whole house cleaning Park Ridge ..If it comes to the question what we really want... Read More
"When you talk to yourself, you listen. No matter what... Read More
We're all adults, and most of us probably like to... Read More
If you were to evaluate the major influences in your... Read More
Perfect the fine art of the end run From time... Read More
Congratulations! You are the president of your own nation, and... Read More
Success is creating what you want the way you want... Read More
Signs of DiscontentYou don't need a degree in psychology to... Read More
Napoleon Hill, the famous inspirational writer, once met a reader... Read More
An old fable tells about a religious man and a... Read More
Success begins with a personal dream that is bigger than... Read More
Hey Future Millionaire,There's so much value in reading about the... Read More
The ultimate expression of life is not a paycheck. The... Read More
If that sounds like you, you're not alone. Everyone needs... Read More
It was one of the worst periods of time in... Read More
Have you ever wondered why you're not where you want... Read More
The Enlightened Warrior's 'Keys to Success' Through the Power of... Read More
There is a disquieting trend emerging among women particularly -... Read More
Friendly competition Get together with a group of like-minded friends... Read More
Let me tell you story about a friend of mine... Read More
I've been thinking a lot about what I believe to... Read More
It's really all we have... the "Moment". Think about it,... Read More
(Excepted from the book The Five Major Pieces to the... Read More
In Latin the word means 'to dare'.This word is so... Read More
Those of you who know me, know that I am... Read More
Success |