We set goals, strive for them and only consider ourselves successful if we attain them and attain them well. Reaching milestones is important BUT when we equate those milestones with "success", we get ourselves in trouble. Sometimes reaching certain goals just doesn't happen because there are circumstances that are completely out of our control or there are other factors that prevent our accomplishment. That being the case, we can't "succeed" if success only means getting to our goal.
What is the opposite of success? Failure.-a huge, stress-filled word in our vocabulary. If success is reaching our desired outcome, failure is not reaching it. Try changing how you think:
1. What exactly is your definition of success?
I would be a success if?.. Example: I would be a success if I could get my weight down 20 pounds by New Year's Eve. Example: I would be a success if my boss likes my ideas.
2. Is there anything that could happen that would prevent you from achieving your definition of success?
Example: Oh yes, I could cheat on my diet and end of only losing 5 pounds....or gaining 5 pounds.
Example: My ideas may not be what my boss is looking for.
3. What is your definition of failure? (it's going to be the opposite of success)
I would fail if?.
Example: I would fail if I don't lose the 20 lbs by New Year's. I don't lose them so I conclude: I am a failure.
Example: I would fail if my boss doesn't like my ideas. He doesn't so I conclude I am a failure.
4. How would it change your life if you knew it was nearly impossible to fail and that you would succeed almost 98% of the time?
Make your definition of success as easy to achieve as possible.
Example: My definition of success is to always learn something from any given situation.
Example: It would be great to lose 20 pounds by New Year's. That would be my desired outcome, true, but I'm going to stop a minute and ask myself a few questions.
What makes it important to me to lose 20 pounds? Who would I be losing it for? How did I gain this extra weight in the first place?
(Here, we might discover some obstacles that become clues to emotional eating or other factors that contribute to excess weight that aren't related to food choices.)
Example: It would be great if my boss liked my ideas. But, if he doesn't what could I learn from that?
What does it say about me that I was even willing to put my ideas out there?
What do these feelings of rejection tell me about myself and where my security lies?
Do I want to be dependent on the approval of my boss to feel good about my ideas?
Do I understand the guiding principles behind the company that I work for and do my ideas fall in line with that?
Understanding and learning about yourself BECOMES YOUR SUCCESS because it turns you back to your own character. Your most excellent life is not based on actions but on your character ? the core of who you are.
These kinds of questions teach you more than all the self-imposed discipline you can muster.
(Regarding our weight loss example, this approach to weight loss is far superior than the temporary fix that most diets are.)
So: If success is learning all I can from every situation, then my definition of failure is to sit down and refuse to ever learn again. This might be a temptation at times but is actually very difficult to do.
Success becomes easy.
Failure becomes hard.
It will take time but practice this in every situation that comes up. Over the next few weeks take time to develop your definition of success and failure. This changed way of thinking is worth the work!
Bernice Lupo is a Life Energy Performance Coach, author and speaker/trainer. Her life purpose is to inspire others to discover and live out the adventure of being who they are designed to be. Through her highly acclaimed GOLD Life Performance System, she has taken many to a place in life where they know freedom and a new, energized love for living. Tap into this incredible resource at http://goldrefined.com/
affordable house cleaning Wilmette ..How can anyone with the brain of a cockroach make... Read More
"The mind grows by what it feeds on." J.... Read More
Reggie Yates, a pop song presenter, was singing on 7th... Read More
Driven by cultural imperatives and inner promptings, we drive ourselves... Read More
Perfect the fine art of the end run From time... Read More
Please repeat these four words out loud: "Maximum Impact....Minimal Touch"... Read More
Many years ago, forty to be exact, I started my... Read More
The First step to success is to think and decide... Read More
According to Bill Gates there are 3 keys to success... Read More
Success starts in your mind. Positive Thinking creates the advantage.Success... Read More
I recently was made aware of two comparative statistics that... Read More
"You will be the same person in five years except... Read More
Have you ever had such thoughts like "I always fall... Read More
Commit yourself to spending time only with people who are... Read More
Accelerated learning is not only practical, it is profitable. Acquiring... Read More
Hello again! I have some more useful tips you can... Read More
What is "success"? Why does it seem everyone wants "success"?... Read More
(Excerpted from the 1999 Weekend Seminar audio/CD series)Parents, leaders, employers,... Read More
There have been a lot of really good movies made... Read More
Skills or beliefs; this may well be another example of... Read More
The ten-year period which followed the stock market crash of... Read More
An old fable tells about a religious man and a... Read More
In my work with clients, the issue of perspectives comes... Read More
In this brief article we will explore four methods that... Read More
Today I am going to tell you the #1 secret... Read More
quick home cleaning Northbrook ..Courage is something that is reflected and reciprocated, and is... Read More
1. Believe in yourself and what it is you do.... Read More
Work addiction is an unrestrained, unfulfillable internal demand for constant... Read More
Thomas Edison has done it. Naomi Watts often jokes about... Read More
Your Head, think about what you want and move towards... Read More
If you are like me you have probably lost a... Read More
In a recent article (What is The Ultimate Lifestyle), I... Read More
There are no two greater ironic comparisons than that of... Read More
So you've bought into the idea that you need to... Read More
"If you think you can or you think you can't... Read More
I have noticed that though my clients often have created... Read More
Something's missing! As a Hispanic in this great country, I... Read More
Want to be successful in whatever it is you choose... Read More
You can be a master achiever by developing the same... Read More
The purpose of man is in action not thought -... Read More
Our expectations get us into a lot of trouble and... Read More
People often ask me how I became successful in that... Read More
Step 1: List all the business activities that you complete... Read More
One of the greatest compliments I ever received in my... Read More
Why do diets end up in gained weight? Why do... Read More
Your mind is the only tool that can create success... Read More
Hello everybody and a good day (or night !) to... Read More
Do you think you have an "average" or perhaps an... Read More
Following are a series of questions I needed to ask... Read More
What would happen if you lived your life by design... Read More
Success |