We set goals, strive for them and only consider ourselves successful if we attain them and attain them well. Reaching milestones is important BUT when we equate those milestones with "success", we get ourselves in trouble. Sometimes reaching certain goals just doesn't happen because there are circumstances that are completely out of our control or there are other factors that prevent our accomplishment. That being the case, we can't "succeed" if success only means getting to our goal.
What is the opposite of success? Failure.-a huge, stress-filled word in our vocabulary. If success is reaching our desired outcome, failure is not reaching it. Try changing how you think:
1. What exactly is your definition of success?
I would be a success if?.. Example: I would be a success if I could get my weight down 20 pounds by New Year's Eve. Example: I would be a success if my boss likes my ideas.
2. Is there anything that could happen that would prevent you from achieving your definition of success?
Example: Oh yes, I could cheat on my diet and end of only losing 5 pounds....or gaining 5 pounds.
Example: My ideas may not be what my boss is looking for.
3. What is your definition of failure? (it's going to be the opposite of success)
I would fail if?.
Example: I would fail if I don't lose the 20 lbs by New Year's. I don't lose them so I conclude: I am a failure.
Example: I would fail if my boss doesn't like my ideas. He doesn't so I conclude I am a failure.
4. How would it change your life if you knew it was nearly impossible to fail and that you would succeed almost 98% of the time?
Make your definition of success as easy to achieve as possible.
Example: My definition of success is to always learn something from any given situation.
Example: It would be great to lose 20 pounds by New Year's. That would be my desired outcome, true, but I'm going to stop a minute and ask myself a few questions.
What makes it important to me to lose 20 pounds? Who would I be losing it for? How did I gain this extra weight in the first place?
(Here, we might discover some obstacles that become clues to emotional eating or other factors that contribute to excess weight that aren't related to food choices.)
Example: It would be great if my boss liked my ideas. But, if he doesn't what could I learn from that?
What does it say about me that I was even willing to put my ideas out there?
What do these feelings of rejection tell me about myself and where my security lies?
Do I want to be dependent on the approval of my boss to feel good about my ideas?
Do I understand the guiding principles behind the company that I work for and do my ideas fall in line with that?
Understanding and learning about yourself BECOMES YOUR SUCCESS because it turns you back to your own character. Your most excellent life is not based on actions but on your character ? the core of who you are.
These kinds of questions teach you more than all the self-imposed discipline you can muster.
(Regarding our weight loss example, this approach to weight loss is far superior than the temporary fix that most diets are.)
So: If success is learning all I can from every situation, then my definition of failure is to sit down and refuse to ever learn again. This might be a temptation at times but is actually very difficult to do.
Success becomes easy.
Failure becomes hard.
It will take time but practice this in every situation that comes up. Over the next few weeks take time to develop your definition of success and failure. This changed way of thinking is worth the work!
Bernice Lupo is a Life Energy Performance Coach, author and speaker/trainer. Her life purpose is to inspire others to discover and live out the adventure of being who they are designed to be. Through her highly acclaimed GOLD Life Performance System, she has taken many to a place in life where they know freedom and a new, energized love for living. Tap into this incredible resource at http://goldrefined.com/
efficient cleaning crew Lake Forest ..Why do you need to know your focus when joining... Read More
Success is a word that is much used in our... Read More
Daddy was a very, very odd little man-possibly a schizophrenic-for... Read More
Do you want to achieve your most important goals in... Read More
Since December 1st 2004, I have written one article or... Read More
If you'd like to fulfill your long-held dreams, try a... Read More
How do we define success? Webster's dictionary defines success as... Read More
Every single one of us is trying to reach success.... Read More
"You will be the same person in five years except... Read More
Succinctly said, success is harmony. When the result is congruent... Read More
There have been a lot of really good movies made... Read More
Persistence is the foundation of success. Although there are many... Read More
Most of your behavior is determined by your habits. Everything... Read More
A farmer in Pennsylvania decided to sell his farm, but... Read More
Conditions differ from circumstances. Circumstances are changeable conditions which merely... Read More
Think back to a time in your life when you... Read More
Hey,Josh here from Investor Wealth Academy sitting 29 stories above... Read More
Champions expect pain, endure pain, and never complain. ---UnknownAfter so... Read More
We're all adults, and most of us probably like to... Read More
The most important quality you can ever develop is having... Read More
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our... Read More
One of the keys to being successful in anything you... Read More
Several years ago, I attended a "success" seminar in northern... Read More
Most sports are full of lessons for the discerning. Tennis... Read More
Understand and apply this one secret to your own life,... Read More
green cleaning service Deerfield ..What if I told you that you could be more... Read More
Success is not something that only a chosen few can... Read More
In terms of life success, there are four pretty obvious... Read More
Hold a "progressive" goal party If you have a group... Read More
Study hard, get good grades and you will have a... Read More
One of the common elements you see in almost all... Read More
When you hear the words "abundance" and "prosperity", what immediately... Read More
"If you want to increase your success rate, double your... Read More
Exercising is not one of my favorite pastimes but I... Read More
Skills or beliefs; this may well be another example of... Read More
Personal missions statements (PMS) are just nothing but the winning... Read More
One of my absolute favorite quotes is from Dwight D.... Read More
Please repeat these four words out loud: "Maximum Impact....Minimal Touch"... Read More
The power went out. Again!I looked out my second story... Read More
Trying to keep up with the Jones only drags good,... Read More
The purpose of man is in action not thought -... Read More
You can achieve whatever you want by incorporating the following... Read More
Success! Easy to talk about, but difficult to achieve. Or... Read More
In my private practice for the past 13+ years I... Read More
The 2004 final of the World's Strongest Man METRx Championship... Read More
Choose a personal theme song and soundtrack that stirs you... Read More
I was at a dinner party the other night when... Read More
Many people ask me how they can be more successful.The... Read More
Reading lots these days? Having trouble remembering and recalling? For... Read More
In this week's New Age Notebook, I am going to... Read More
Success |