Often, what people say about other people behind their backs is a nasty reflection on the talker. You might be surprised by what I heard from an IRS executive.
Several years ago, my office received an e-mailed inquiry about hiring me to keynote an upper-level management meeting for the U.S. Treasury Department. I personally called to follow-up and during the conversation the potential client stated she worked for Treasury. It's a huge organization so I asked, "Which agency in Treasury?" With hesitation and in a lowered voice she said, "the IRS." "Oh! I've done programs for the IRS before, which division?" There was a pause. It was obvious she was uncomfortable. Then she said in a tone that makes a non-question sound like a question, "Tax collections? Some people are uncomfortable with them -- you know, because of their reputation?" She told me she had worked there for years but she kept referring to coworkers as they. She said things like, "They are having problems with morale," instead of choosing to say, "We are having problems with morale." And I thought, "You don't sound too smart. You're ashamed of where you work and you're distancing yourself from it. You can't be contributing much. Do the agency and yourself a favor and change your attitude or get out."
Was I harsh? All I did was instinctively react to the silent message she sent. When I hear someone knocking where they work, I hear them down-grading themselves. Saying they when talking about the organization implies the talker is not a team player, not a leader, not committed, not willing to shoulder responsibility for improvement, and not particularly valuable in the grand scheme of things. And to me, that doesn't sound smart.
The bottom line is this: When you are on a boat, you never benefit from punching holes in the hull. Never denigrate the people you work with. This includes your boss, co-workers, and customers. If you ever find yourself on a boat you no longer want to be on, do everyone a favor and get off the boat!
Doug Smart is the co-author of the book, Irresistible Leadership. He is a management development consultant, professional speaker, and host of the daily motivational radio show, "Smarter by the Minute." For more information, email doug@dougsmart.com. Copyright 2005 by Doug Smart
efficient cleaning crew Northbrook ..Reggie Yates, a pop song presenter, was singing on 7th... Read More
Back from my amazing summer excursion, a month long drive... Read More
Time taken for self-analysis is so important in developing your... Read More
The secrets of our body language have been around forever... Read More
Think how often you see a friend or an acquaintance... Read More
Everything we have in life is because of the help... Read More
Wealth is more than money. It's abundance, or as the... Read More
I did it my way -Frank SinatraWhat is a successful... Read More
I want to focus our thoughts on each of these... Read More
"What a week!" you say at the end of a... Read More
Have a "Pitch Party" Invite friends and work together to... Read More
If you are like me you have probably lost a... Read More
If you were to evaluate the major influences in your... Read More
You talked but didn't get a response. You talked but... Read More
I was hired to do some training for a sales... Read More
I am going to tell you something you already know... Read More
Thomas Edison has done it. Naomi Watts often jokes about... Read More
I'm going to begin this article by sharing a little... Read More
Fourteen thousand civilised people died when the tsunami hit Andaman... Read More
Money will buy me a house, but not a home,... Read More
"If you think you can or you think you can't... Read More
From time to time I receive correspondence from individuals with... Read More
However there is one success secret that costs nothing. And... Read More
I wrote an article on this very subject, with the... Read More
Personal power is an INSIDE JOB. It doesn't mean getting... Read More
cleaning lady near Wilmette ..Most of your behavior is determined by your habits. Everything... Read More
(Excepted from the book The Five Major Pieces to the... Read More
"What a week!" you say at the end of a... Read More
"Don't get caught up in the how of things. If... Read More
"Well, you're just a busy beaver, aren't you?" You've either... Read More
Does your life feel less than fulfilling? Are you waiting... Read More
Success, in the dictionary, is defined as, "The achievement of... Read More
Much has been researched, written and taught about success. One... Read More
If you're so smart, why ain't you rich?Becoming a millionaire... Read More
Critics can destroy or inspire you. Your own self critic... Read More
I've been coaching for a few years now, and the... Read More
As kind of a hobby I like to watch people.... Read More
How many times have people asked you what you really... Read More
You must play by the rules. Everything has rules. You... Read More
Start a "round robin" goal letter with others who need... Read More
There are so many internet marketing schemes out there so... Read More
"See, I told you so," she emailed me, "it turned... Read More
When I decided to have my web site built, I... Read More
We set goals, strive for them and only consider ourselves... Read More
Successful people do not achieve success on their own, they... Read More
Whenever I ask people this question, "what do you really... Read More
Skills or beliefs; this may well be another example of... Read More
Choose a personal theme song and soundtrack that stirs you... Read More
Everybody wants to get to the top, whether it is... Read More
If that sounds like you, you're not alone. Everyone needs... Read More
Success |