Home
>
Weight Loss
>
Anger: The Unexpected Emotion After Gastric Bypass Surgery

Anger: The Unexpected Emotion After Gastric Bypass Surgery

The words I read made me furious. There it was, in black and white, the story of a fussy baby who was spoon fed ice cream to keep her quiet. I was reading a baby book and that baby was me! I was indignant ? how dare my parents comfort me ? at six months old ? with ice cream? No wonder I grew up to be a fat adult addicted to high fat sugary sweets. I was a fat baby and I became a fat child, a fat teen and a fat adult. All because at six months the solution for my tears was ice cream.

When I read dusky smelling baby book it unleashed an anger that had been building since the good doctor cut up my God-given stomach and deprived me of every comfort I'd ever known. My gastric bypass made me skinny, but it also made me angry.

I was mad as hell, and I was blaming them ? my parents ? for twenty-five years of obesity. Twenty-five years of suffering and self-loathing. Twenty-five years of social inferiority because I was fat. It was their fault! A normally docile person, I was livid. I was enraged. I was heartbroken. There is so much pain associated with obesity, particularly for children and adolescents, how dare they ? they who gave me life ? put me in harm's way by making me fat? How dare they?

I harbored my anger for weeks festering it in my mind until it took on a life of it's own. I was no longer in control of my thoughts because I had surrendered to the anger. Here I should have been at the most exciting moment of my adult life for I had become the new me, yet I was a bitter angry unhappy thin person.

Most gastric bypass patients experience anger as they lose weight.

I understand now that this phase of anger is common for the recovering morbidly obese person. Most of our anger is about how obesity caused us to be self-loathing: about learning to hate ourselves ? since childhood ? because of our obesity. We are angry for blaming ourselves for lack of control that caused obesity, we are angry at others who blamed us. We are angry at the people who have belittled us for being fat, then belittled us as "weak" for taking the easy way out ? surgery ? to lose weight. We are angry at doctors who've told us to lose weight, but didn't tell us how. We are angry at the media that bombards us with pictures of rail thin skeleton models sending the message that unhealthy anorexic behavior is fashionable and obesity is loathsome. That is the same media that advertises thin people joyously eating heaping portions of unhealthy processed fat laden food. We are angry at employers who fail to promote the obese and who make us work twice as hard to prove that obese does not equal stupid. We are angry at the diet industry that has taken billions of our dollars when we fell for their promise of "instant weight loss guaranteed". We are angry at every person who said, "You have such a pretty face, if you could just lose the weight." We are angry at a society that deems it politically incorrect to insult people for their race, religion or sexual preference, but leaves the field wide open to defame and humiliate the obese.

The recovering obese are very angry. And finally, after years of stuffing angry feelings inside, the anger erupts when we lose weight and discover our new selves. And that makes us angry too! Why did we have to lose weight in order to allow ourselves to be angry?

We are entitled to be angry. As a class of people we are subject to the most tolerated form of socially accepted bigotry: it is in our home and social lives, in the workplace, in our leisure activities. We live in a society where half the people are obese ? half of those morbidly obese ? yet that same society condemns the obese as today's untouchables. We are entitled to be angry.

Anger leads us down a path of blaming. We want to blame someone or something for our suffering. It's true, not one single fat person has chosen to be fat. Obesity is not a choice. We want to blame someone else because for most of our lives we have blamed ourselves: that's what fat people learn to do ? we hate ourselves for a choice we did not make.

But a new movement in psychology, the science of happiness, says there is a better way. This practice says, sure, bad things happen to good people. The science of happiness calls people to muster their inner resilience and accept bad things happen as a matter of fact and then move forward.

The science of happiness has us focus on our strengths. According to Dr. Dan Baker, a leader in the science of happiness and author of What Happy People Know: How the New Science of Happiness Can Change Your Life for the Better: "focusing on our strengths works because it feels better than focusing on weakness. It creates energy, which is always necessary for transformation. Also, it's self-sustaining and full of rewards." When I began to understand that my obesity was the result of converging anthropic change ? the industrial revolution ? that my parents did not intend for me be fat, and that I'd done the best thing I could for my health by having surgery ? then my anger subsided.

Some weight loss patients have managed their anger by becoming advocates. Advocates for the fair treatment of the obese, for fair treatment in the workplace and improved insurance coverage for obesity treatment. I know some people who are sport and life coaches for children to teach them about nutrition and physical activity.

But most importantly, I know WLS patients who are advocates in their own homes. They are affecting healthy change for the next generation. These brave people are teaching their children to eat nutritionally and exercise and avoid the foods and habits that result in obesity. They are the advocates who will keep the next generation off the surgical table and free from the torments of growing up obese. Advocates do not have time for anger. They will step in where genetics can't keep pace and independently, one-by-one, fight the epidemic of obesity.

Is it easy to let the anger go? Not all the time. I still get very angry when I see overweight adults mindlessly feeding their children things that will make them fat. Sometimes I just want to shake them and say, "Do you know what you are doing to that child? Do you know what kind of life you are leading her toward?" I'm still looking for a response to this anger but the wounds of childhood obesity do not easily heal. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe that will be the motivation it takes to leave a better, healthier legacy for future generations ? with or without weight loss surgery.

Kaye Bailey is a gastric bypass success story having maintained her health and goal weight for more than five years. An award winning journalist, she is the author and webmaster of http://www.livingafterwls.com and http://www.livingafterwls.com - Fresh & insightful content about living after weight loss surgery is added daily, check in often.

Elk Grove (east OF 53) car service from Midway .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

The line between spam and scams is thin. Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson details his tips for identifying and avoiding phone scams, robocalls and unwanted solicitations.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents

Kurt the CyberGuy takes you through the steps to easily set your preferred web browser whether you're using a Mac, Windows PC, iPhone or Android.

Google, Instagram, Facebook and weather apps can track your location and use that data to serve you ads; here's what you can do to protect your privacy.

A new debate has emerged about whether airlines should charge passengers based on their weight to help reduce fuel consumption and lower emissions.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says Hipshipper, which is used by eBay, Shopify and Amazon sellers, exposed millions of shipping labels.

Boxabl’s Baby Box is a 120-square-foot foldable home that can be set up in 60 minutes and has off-grid features. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says it's designed to maximize functionality.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Major IoT data breach: Mars Hydro database with 2.7 billion records exposed. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says the breach is a reminder of the risks that come with using IoT devices.

Unitree H1 robots dance at gala, blending AI and tradition. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson examines the convergence of cutting-edge technology and traditional culture.

For the first time ever, SpaceX launched a rocket into space from Florida and landed the booster the Bahamas, allowing for future polar-orbit spaceflight missions.

Attackers use caller ID spoofing and AI voices to steal money. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson provides seven ways to protect yourself.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about the Genesis GV60 MIV, an electric rescue EV with snow tracks for extreme missions.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson helps you ensure a smooth online experience with a reliable, secure home network setup.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about Vollebak’s Shielding Suit, which blocks EM radiation, infrared and tracking for privacy.

Even Apple products are vulnerable to cybercriminals, and a new report suggests the owners of Mac products will have to be more vigilant this year.

An inflatable six-person tiny house from a firm called 2001 looks like a space station with its inflatable dome that is transportable and eco-friendly.

Scams cost Americans an estimated $159 billion every year and average about $3,500 in losses per victim. The CyberGuy has advice to protect yourself.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents

Zeekr and Waymo are joining forces for the world's first mass-produced autonomous vehicle, combining an electric vehicle with self-driving technology.

A humanoid robot training center has opened in Shanghai, a big step in China's efforts to become a global leader in robotics and artificial intelligence.

Security experts have discovered that hackers are targeting apps on the App Store to spread malware that steals information from saved screenshots.

A new luxury SUV combines military-inspired design and high-end luxury transportation and includes two military-grade gas masks to protect against chemical warfare.

80% of stalking victims are tracked using tech. GPS trackers, like AirTags, are among the most popular ways to do it. Here's how to protect yourself.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Anger: The Unexpected Emotion After Gastric Bypass Surgery

Weight Loss