Nice girls don't speak up. Nice girls take care of and support others. These are just a few of the messages girls often receive as they are socialized. Often in adulthood, these ingrained messages turn into full-blown co-dependency. Years can go by. Unmet needs build up energy; they demand attention. But without learning skills in setting boundaries, letting others feel their own pain and making oneself a priority, food often becomes the hassle-free, soothing balm to take the edge off and release that pent up energy momentarily, that is until the guilt sets in.
We are in one of the following roles when we are co-dependent ? victim, rescuer or persecutor. Following are a few examples of how these roles play out in our relationship with food:
Victim: You eat too much food. You gain weight and then can't eat what you want. No matter what you do, what diet you try, you can't lose weight. No matter how you eat, you seem to continue to gain weight, feeling worse and worse.
Rescuer: The dessert makes you feel better, especially the chocolate. It makes you feel loved. You feel comforted and nurtured when you eat certain foods. You reward yourself with food over the smallest perceived successes. Or someone may rescue you when you claim you can't lose weight. "You've tried hard. It's not working for you. Go ahead and eat it. You're not losing weight anyway. You can try that new diet tomorrow."
Persecutor: You're great at beating up on yourself. No matter what you do, you can't lose weight. Your tortured thoughts go something like this: "I'm never going to lose this weight; it's too hard to lose weight. I hate myself because I can't control my eating. I hate myself because I'm not following this diet perfectly. I'm fat. I'm ugly. I hate myself."
How do you get out of your co-dependent relationship with food? First, pay attention to your thoughts ? I mean really notice. What are you saying to yourself about food, your body, your weight, yourself? Likely you'll find that you wouldn't say those things to your worst enemy. Secondly, write those thoughts down. Ask yourself if any of your thoughts are really true about you or do they come from unconscious, past patterns. Next, ask yourself if you wish to continue to believe these thoughts. If not, forgive yourself for believing them and replace those thoughts with the ones you want.
It goes like this.
My thoughts:
I always eat too potato chips, and I can't lose weight. I'm so spineless.
Are my thoughts true?
I don't always eat too many potato chips. I've been eating dessert, which is probably why I can't lose weight. It's not the potato chips. I don't know why I said I'm spineless. I'm not.
Why do I eat so many potato chips?
When I ate them today, it was after that conversation with my friend. I felt angry. The crunch of the potato chips helped me feel less angry. Now that I think about it, I eat potato chips a lot when I'm angry.
Do I want to continue believing my thoughts?
No. I forgive myself for eating potato chips to swallow my anger. I forgive myself for calling myself spineless.
New thoughts:
When I'm angry next time, I'm going to express my anger appropriately and talk with the other person. I'm not going to eat potato chips. I can lose weight. I am successful in losing weight.
Learn to listen to yourself and not rely on outside cues for what you may or may not think and feel. It's not selfish to meet your real needs directly. When you meet your true needs, food is no longer a bandage. Then you can freely choose whether or not to eat that particular food without the intensity of unmet emotional needs. It's about valuing yourself and making decisions and choices that honor your value. New thinking will support your weight loss efforts.
About The Author
Zo Houseman is the author of Live Lightly! that describes how she lost 100 pounds and kept it off by learning to think differently. Read free excerpts. More information and resources are available at http://www.setyourheartfree.com.
http://www.setyourheartfree.com
family-safe home cleaners Morton Grove ..The vast majority of postpartum women will not return to... Read More
Cleansing: How to Kickstart your Alkaline LifestyleDue to the highly... Read More
I just finished working my quads on a weight machine.... Read More
False campaignsMore than 50 percent of Americans and Canadians are... Read More
Cellulite is probably one of the most embarrassing of all... Read More
For some of us, food is warmth and love. We... Read More
If anyone knows anything about fitness, it's that a low... Read More
One of the most important things you can do for... Read More
MYTH: Fad diets work for permanent weight loss.FACT: Fad diets... Read More
It's always great to find a protein supplement with very... Read More
You know you have weighted, err, waited more than enough.... Read More
Am I missing something here? If I am, someone please... Read More
*Do you truly believe that not eating or cutting back... Read More
Gastric-bypass surgery is only the first step many morbidly obese... Read More
You are not a kid any more and becoming a... Read More
Ephedra and Ephedrine consumers are still under the assumption that... Read More
Any food that we take into our bodies is composed... Read More
A question from one of our readers:Dr. Mericle,With respect to... Read More
These fat burning tips can help you discover a fat... Read More
If you have been dieting and haven't lost weight, stop!... Read More
First off, let me start by saying this list is... Read More
If you knew when you were going to die, would... Read More
Although liposuction is one of the most commonly performed cosmetic... Read More
Have you ever dreaded the idea of pulling weeds, planting... Read More
If you want any weight loss program to work you... Read More
home cleaning services Wilmette ..1. Drink 8-10 glasses of water each dayOkay, for many... Read More
Sometime, during the phase of rapid weight loss after gastric... Read More
With the growing epidemic of diabetes and obesity in our... Read More
I don't know about you, but I absolutely love bread... Read More
Fat burning exercise is not merely one that will burn... Read More
Ever heard of the expression, "Getting up on the wrong... Read More
All Diets Work: No Diets WorkHave you lost weight in... Read More
I personal lost 60 pounds in 2003. Here are some... Read More
You have decided that you want to lose weight and... Read More
The weight loss protein debate centers around the effectiveness of... Read More
Cut the Calories, Bring Out the BikiniSummer's almost here and... Read More
Are you just exploding with the presence of light all... Read More
Everyone from politicians to parents is talking about fighting the... Read More
These days more and more people are getting intellectual instead... Read More
Recently a woman went public in her online diet community... Read More
Now I know you're always asking yourself questions.You know the... Read More
I just finished working my quads on a weight machine.... Read More
How did a thin person like me become overweight? My... Read More
Just like any other diet, the Atkins diet can become... Read More
A 'diet' is always seen as a temporary measure. An... Read More
Today I stopped by my favorite coffee shop in Berkeley,... Read More
Yes and no. Moderate calorie restriction helps in controlling and... Read More
New Medical Research shows high-intensity exercise can increase the body's... Read More
The market is flooded with weight loss supplements that make... Read More
It's the travel time, meaning hours spent sedentary. It prepares... Read More
Weight Loss |