Co-Dependency and Food: Trying to Fill the Void

Nice girls don't speak up. Nice girls take care of and support others. These are just a few of the messages girls often receive as they are socialized. Often in adulthood, these ingrained messages turn into full-blown co-dependency. Years can go by. Unmet needs build up energy; they demand attention. But without learning skills in setting boundaries, letting others feel their own pain and making oneself a priority, food often becomes the hassle-free, soothing balm to take the edge off and release that pent up energy momentarily, that is until the guilt sets in.

We are in one of the following roles when we are co-dependent ? victim, rescuer or persecutor. Following are a few examples of how these roles play out in our relationship with food:

Victim: You eat too much food. You gain weight and then can't eat what you want. No matter what you do, what diet you try, you can't lose weight. No matter how you eat, you seem to continue to gain weight, feeling worse and worse.

Rescuer: The dessert makes you feel better, especially the chocolate. It makes you feel loved. You feel comforted and nurtured when you eat certain foods. You reward yourself with food over the smallest perceived successes. Or someone may rescue you when you claim you can't lose weight. "You've tried hard. It's not working for you. Go ahead and eat it. You're not losing weight anyway. You can try that new diet tomorrow."

Persecutor: You're great at beating up on yourself. No matter what you do, you can't lose weight. Your tortured thoughts go something like this: "I'm never going to lose this weight; it's too hard to lose weight. I hate myself because I can't control my eating. I hate myself because I'm not following this diet perfectly. I'm fat. I'm ugly. I hate myself."

How do you get out of your co-dependent relationship with food? First, pay attention to your thoughts ? I mean really notice. What are you saying to yourself about food, your body, your weight, yourself? Likely you'll find that you wouldn't say those things to your worst enemy. Secondly, write those thoughts down. Ask yourself if any of your thoughts are really true about you or do they come from unconscious, past patterns. Next, ask yourself if you wish to continue to believe these thoughts. If not, forgive yourself for believing them and replace those thoughts with the ones you want.

It goes like this.

My thoughts:

I always eat too potato chips, and I can't lose weight. I'm so spineless.

Are my thoughts true?

I don't always eat too many potato chips. I've been eating dessert, which is probably why I can't lose weight. It's not the potato chips. I don't know why I said I'm spineless. I'm not.

Why do I eat so many potato chips?

When I ate them today, it was after that conversation with my friend. I felt angry. The crunch of the potato chips helped me feel less angry. Now that I think about it, I eat potato chips a lot when I'm angry.

Do I want to continue believing my thoughts?

No. I forgive myself for eating potato chips to swallow my anger. I forgive myself for calling myself spineless.

New thoughts:

When I'm angry next time, I'm going to express my anger appropriately and talk with the other person. I'm not going to eat potato chips. I can lose weight. I am successful in losing weight.

Learn to listen to yourself and not rely on outside cues for what you may or may not think and feel. It's not selfish to meet your real needs directly. When you meet your true needs, food is no longer a bandage. Then you can freely choose whether or not to eat that particular food without the intensity of unmet emotional needs. It's about valuing yourself and making decisions and choices that honor your value. New thinking will support your weight loss efforts.

About The Author

Zo Houseman is the author of Live Lightly! that describes how she lost 100 pounds and kept it off by learning to think differently. Read free excerpts. More information and resources are available at http://www.setyourheartfree.com.

http://www.setyourheartfree.com

professional maid services Park Ridge ..
In The News:

ShinyHunters claims responsibility for stealing 94GB of Pornhub user data affecting over 200 million records and demands Bitcoin ransom.
ChatGPT 2025 now connects to Apple Music, Canva, Expedia, TripAdvisor and OpenTable through built-in apps that help users create playlists, design graphics and more.
Apple releases emergency patches for two zero-day vulnerabilities actively exploited in attacks. iPhone and iPad users urged to update immediately.
DoorDash launches Zesty, an AI-powered social app that recommends restaurants through conversational search, now testing in San Francisco and New York.
Cybersecurity firm Infoblox reveals that over 90 percent of parked domains now redirect visitors to scams and malware, making simple typos extremely dangerous.
The Fox News AI Newsletter covers the latest artificial intelligence technology advancements, including the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
GPT-5.2 is now live for all ChatGPT users with improved coding, writing and image interpretation, with Kurt Knutsson offering his review.
New iPhone replacement scam uses pressure tactics and fake carrier calls to steal devices from buyers. Criminals claim shipping errors and demand urgent returns.
Amazon Ring's new facial recognition feature sparks privacy controversy as Electronic Frontier Foundation critics argue the AI upgrade expands surveillance risks.
New Android banking trojan Sturnus steals credentials, reads encrypted messages and controls devices.
Denmark's 3D-printed student village proves automation builds 36 apartments faster than traditional methods. Skovsporet project shows housing future.
Discover Android's new Sound Notifications feature that alerts you to smoke alarms, doorbells, and baby cries even when wearing headphones.
New SantaStealer malware reportedly threatens holiday shoppers with password theft. This Christmas-themed info-stealer targets browsers and crypto wallets.
The Christmas season brings a surge in Netflix phishing scams targeting shoppers with fake emails. Stacey P received convincing scam but verified account first.
San Francisco Giants invite Jamie Grohsong to throw ceremonial first pitch at Oracle Park after he learned to play baseball with a bionic hand following an injury.
FBI warns cybercriminals are stealing family photos from social media to create fake proof of life images in virtual kidnapping scams targeting victims.
Instagram's new 'Your Algorithm' tool lets you control your Reels feed in real time. The app now gives you power to customize what videos you see.
Major Marquis fintech breach exposes 400,000-plus Americans' data through unpatched SonicWall vulnerability, with Texas hardest hit at 354,000 affected.
Free up iPhone storage fast by clearing large photos and videos from Messages app. Simple steps for iOS users to delete attachments without losing chats.
Scammers are flooding inboxes with fake tracking alerts that mimic real carriers, exploiting the holiday rush to steal logins and personal data.
The Fox News AI Newsletter brings you the latest news on AI technology advancements and the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
Texas family reunites with missing 11-year-old cat Grayson after 103 days using Petco Love Lost's AI photo matching technology and community help.
Tired of AI customer service loops? These insider tricks help you escape "frustration AI" and get real human help when you need it most for urgent issues.
Unlock richer audio from your streaming apps with simple tweaks to volume normalization, equalizer settings, and quality preferences for cleaner sound.
Scammers are sending fake Facebook settlement payout emails that mimic legitimate notices from the privacy settlement administrator to deceive users.

Seven Pitfalls That Cripple Weight Loss

Do you struggle to maintain or lose weight? If so,... Read More

Simple Weight Loss Plan

The math is pretty simple. One pound of fat equals... Read More

When Dieting Should You Weigh Yourself Every Day?

How to Break the Weighing HabitFace it, if you weigh... Read More

Low-Carb Diets: Are You Losing More than Weight?

The average American eats about twice as much protein than... Read More

Acupuncture Weight Loss -- Does it Work?

Acupuncture for weight loss is a modern application of this... Read More

Hoodia - An Elixir that Fights Obesity Part 1

Humanity is always in search of a wonder drug that... Read More

Weight Loss Surgery: What are the options?

To understand how surgical procedures aid the grossly overweight person... Read More

Supersizing America

For some of us, food is warmth and love. We... Read More

5 Easy Weight Loss Tips You Can Use Right Now

Sometimes, just the thought of starting on a diet and... Read More

Weight Loss Tips, Tricks, And Tactics - Part 2

I personal lost 60 pounds in 2003. Here are some... Read More

Add High Water Content Fruits and Vegetables to Your Diet For Fast Weight Loss

Include in your diet things that contain more water like... Read More

Frankie The French Fry Hatches A Plan

Frankie saddled up to the bar at the We-Stuff-Em-All Diner,... Read More

NotOneOunce -- The Run-up To Thanksgiving

The 8-Week Campaign to Survive the HolidaysEating preparations in the... Read More

Easy Weight Loss -- 5 Steps to Lose Weight

Is it easy to lose weight? Yes. Losing weight is... Read More

Obesity - How it Affects Your Health

1. Carrying around excess body fat will decrease your energy... Read More

Dieting 101 - For Those Who Want to Start But Dont Know Where to Begin

Okay, so you've read some of these articles, done your... Read More

Weighing in on Weight Loss

Dieters have long searched for secret paths to easy weight... Read More

How to Gain More Pleasure While Losing Weight

It's easy to lose sight of our goals, "Do I... Read More

Losing Weight: The Simple Science of Losing Weight

Are you committed to losing weight and keeping it off?... Read More

Good Night, Sleep Tight!

One of the most important things you can do for... Read More

Personalized Weight Loss Plans -- Breaking the Yo-Yo Cycle of Failed Diets

Dieting will continue to fail most dieters, unless personalized weight... Read More

Losing Weight is Like Eating Ice Cream

"Life is like a box of chocolates," drawled Forrest Gump.Metaphors... Read More

Rating the Fad Diets

THE 200 POINT SYSTEMWith so many different diets available, how... Read More

What Is Fat Burning Food and 5 Ways To Implement It Into Your Diet

Many people (especially on the net) claim that you can... Read More

It?s Not Just About Dieting

You may not like what I'm about to say, but... Read More

cleaning lady near Lincolnshire ..