Do a little people-watching, next time you're in the grocery line. There's always someone with a cart, bulging with every conceivable kind of diet food. Flats of turkey bacon prop listlessly against the fat free half & half and Olestra cookies. At first glance, this is clearly someone who is completely health conscious, diet minded, and watching what they eat.
But peek beneath the basket to the lower rack ? where you normally find dog food, kitty litter, and toxic chemicals ? and you will see the full case of Mountain Dew. Diet foods and junk foods, rubbing wrappers in the very same cart might suggest mental illness, delusional optimism, or some other form of brain strain.
However, unbeknownst to the rest of us, these folks are actually brilliant physicists, cleverly disguised as profoundly confused shoppers, so as not to attract any attention. They throw you off their trail with very characteristic behaviors, like chasing a candy bar with a Diet Coke.
Yes, we can now release the fact that these scientists are members of the little know branch of their field known as gastro-physics, and they are actually testing a high-level theory regarding matter and anti-matter. Just as matter can be annihilated by anti-matter, they show how calories can be eliminated, obliterated, and just forgotten about altogether if you just consume them with their Universal opposite.
Oreos and skim milk cancel perfectly.
M&Ms are vaporized into the next astral plane when thrown into a trail mix bag with a few Spanish peanuts.
And then there's diet drinks ? the perfect dietary anti-matter for any form of plasticized fruit rollup, gummy worms, or even weight loss candy bars.
Sorry for the dive into the messy scientific details, but there's just a bit more you should know about this physics phenomenon. The calorie cancellation must happen within a certain time frame, if you are serious about blipping away that ingot of taffy you just ate.
It's like your mother explained, logically, that swimming after quick a baloney and cheese sandwich at the beach will make you drop like a rock to the bottom of the ocean, unless you wait the required 30 minutes or so.
In just the same way, modern gastro-physicists indicate that full cancellation can only take effect if the diet product smashes into the junk food within 7.45 minutes. These guys are brilliant.
So the next time you see cleverly disguised gastro-physicists chasing their Snickers with a Diet Coke, don't harrumph. They're not as daft as they seem.
About The Author
Dr. Will Clower is the award-winning author of The Fat Fallacy and founder of The PATH Curriculum, The PATH Online, and Newsletter.
The PATH: America's weight solution.
Dr. Clower can be reached on his website www.fatfallacy.com. www.fatfallacy.com
bathroom cleaning service Northbrook ..Well, look at you go! You keep moving closer and... Read More
Some of you will not like what I have to... Read More
Diet and Exercise. They are the inseparable twins that are... Read More
Your brain has this really interesting system that is kind... Read More
Are you wondering why you're not losing weight? If you're... Read More
Diet tips for losing weight abound. Some are good, some... Read More
More likely than not a diet with end up a... Read More
Okay, so you've read some of these articles, done your... Read More
"Unless that apple tastes like the best apple you've ever... Read More
Repeat a lie often enough and people take it as... Read More
In our society of fast food and long hours spent... Read More
I gotta confess: I'm completely addicted to crisps. Any kind... Read More
The people of earlier times depended on the rich resource... Read More
The math is pretty simple. One pound of fat equals... Read More
We all have aspects of health we want to improve.... Read More
Motivation is a factor often overlooked when it comes to... Read More
Holidays and special events should be a time of great... Read More
The very first thing you want to do before you... Read More
Gastric bypass surgeries are temporary physical fixes to a long... Read More
Several months ago I was in desperate need of weight... Read More
It's the American Dream: "If I could just lose a... Read More
Our bodies only require a small amount of salt for... Read More
Recently, I read an article from Japanese magazine that by... Read More
Everybody knows that 98% of dieters fail. But do you... Read More
A distorted body image is one of the symptoms that... Read More
insured cleaning company Wilmette ..At its most basic, dieting is about burning more calories... Read More
The cost of gastric bypass surgery and other bariatric surgical... Read More
Are you one of the many who may be tempted... Read More
There's a dirty little secret in the diet industry. The... Read More
After patients have had gastric bypass surgery comes a very... Read More
Losing weight and going on a diet can be quite... Read More
Nowadays, so much of the public is obese (fat) that... Read More
With obesity and disease increasing dramatically, many fitness experts are... Read More
Do you struggle to maintain or lose weight? If so,... Read More
Stop Weight From Creeping Up By Staying AwareEveryone has small... Read More
The gastric bypass procedure isn't for everyone, but those who've... Read More
Rules of day to day no longer apply as you... Read More
Just because you're working hard, doesn't mean that you're working... Read More
1. Increase your fiber intake. The body needs a lot... Read More
What is cellulite? Ask a doctor and he will probably... Read More
You are the GREATEST, aren't you? You are focusing on... Read More
Carnitine is simply the safest and healthiest supplement you can... Read More
What do I mean by that?Well, carrots are good for... Read More
Are you a 'look-and-lose' dieter? Have you studied every diet... Read More
Just like any other diet, the Atkins diet can become... Read More
Have you ever stopped to calculate how much time you... Read More
If you've been pursuing a lighter, healthier version of yourself,... Read More
Low carb beer and lite beer are two different animals.... Read More
There is no doubt about it; Americans are eating in... Read More
While the gastric bypass may seem like the perfect solution... Read More
Weight Loss |