Hannah was distressed that, with all the inner work she had done on herself, she still found herself binge eating.
"There are times when I just can't stop eating. I feel awful after, but at the time I just want another cookie and another until they are all gone. Or I'll intend to take a few bites of ice cream out of the carton and find myself unable to stop until the whole carton is gone. I just don't get why I'm still doing this! And it seems worse since I married Roger, even though I really love him. I just can't figure this out!"
I asked Hannah to tune into the addicted part of her and allow that part to speak about why she needs to fill up with food.
"Well, sometimes I just feel so empty and alone inside. I just can't stand it. The food makes me feel so much better. I don't feel so lonely when I'm eating and filled up. But I don't get why I feel this way. I'm not alone. I have Roger and he loves me."
"It sounds like you want to eat when you feel alone inside, when your Inner Child - which is your feeling self - feels alone and abandoned inside."
"Yes," answered Hannah. "That's exactly what I feel, but I have no idea how to fill that emptiness and aloneness without food. And why do I feel alone inside when I'm not alone outside?"
The problem is that most people think that the empty alone feeling is caused by something outside themselves - such as not having a partner, feeling rejected by someone, being unhappy at a job or not having enough money. Yet that is never what causes inner emptiness and inner aloneness. It is caused by one thing - not taking loving care of yourself, of your feelings, of the child within. And we cannot take loving care of ourselves without having a spiritual source to turn to for love, wisdom, guidance and strength.
A spiritual source can be God, a Higher Power, a guardian angel, an inner mentor or teacher, a beloved relative who has died, or your own Higher Self. We all need a source of guidance to turn to other than other people or our own mind. Our mind is limited to our storehouse of beliefs, many of which are false or no longer supportive of who are now are. Our mind cannot guide us in what is truly loving to ourselves. It cannot advise us in what actions support our highest good. So unless we have a source of wisdom to turn to, we may not know what to do to take loving care of ourselves.
We will not even open to this Source until our deep desire is to take loving care of ourselves. As long as we believe it is someone else's job to fill us up, or that we will get filled up from work, money, food and so on, we will not take the loving action we need to take in our own behalf to take care of our Inner Child and fill ourselves with love.
The first thing I did with Hannah was to help her create, in her imagination, a spiritual source for her to turn to. When I asked her to do this, she immediately imagined her grandfather whom she had dearly loved as a child and who had died when she was five. She said she had often felt her grandfather around her, but had never thought to turn to him for help. Now, as she imagined him holding her and loving her, she began to cry with the joy of feeling his love for her.
"Hannah, while he is holding you, imagine the child part of you that wants to overeat. Imagine that you are holding her while your grandfather is holding you. Ask her how you are treating her that causes her to feel so empty and alone."
Little Hannah: "The thing you ALWAYS do that I just hate is you just go along with everything that Roger wants. What he wants and needs and feels is always more important to you than I am. You don't speak up for me. Every since we got married, it's like Roger is supposed to make me happy instead of you making me happy. I need you to make me happy by taking care of me instead of taking care of Roger so that Roger will love us. I need you to love me." (This did not come out all at once - this is a summary of what the Inner Child eventually said to adult Hannah).
As Hannah learned to turn to her grandfather for love and guidance and started to take care of herself instead of giving herself up to Roger, her binge eating gradually diminished.
About The Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or http://www.innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.
affordable house cleaning Wilmette ..So you ask, "How do I determine if I am... Read More
What is a calorie? The definition of a calorie is... Read More
Cellulite happens to us for many reasons. Some reasons-- like... Read More
I know, I know. What a crazy question!Considering that we've... Read More
Yes, you read it right?no diets!The first step in this... Read More
Your success in sticking with an exercise and weight loss... Read More
The latest trend in the area of weight loss is... Read More
The Order of Energy UtilizationBack to our table of stored... Read More
The underlying principles of low carb diets are based on... Read More
A bad day or even a bad week is not... Read More
Weight Loss tipsAll throughout my childhood and teenage years I... Read More
Losing weight is a lifelong commitment. It takes patience and... Read More
One of the difficulties with dieting is the well known... Read More
Many people are under the impression that gastric bypass surgery... Read More
The long marginalized San tribe of South Africa has suddenly... Read More
If you're trying lose weight, maintain your weight, or sculpt... Read More
Dr. Atkins death was unexpected. On 8 April 2003, he... Read More
In our never ending search for the illusive "Fountain of... Read More
If your low carb diet is going nowhere, maybe its... Read More
Gastric bypass surgery has many forms and can involve stapling... Read More
The purpose of this article is not to scrutinize, vilify,... Read More
If you want to reduce your body fat, focus on... Read More
To lose weight and keep it off you need an... Read More
We must all now be familiar with the Atkins Diet.... Read More
WHAT DOES BEING FIT REALLY MEAN?The "INSIDE-OUT" approach to fitness... Read More
quick home cleaning Northbrook ..Very few Americans are satisfied with their current weights. There... Read More
My name is Greg Ryan. I am a high profile... Read More
Weight loss information is often confusing and misleading. The more... Read More
At the University of Illinois, a new research found that... Read More
Any dietary plan on the market has some portion of... Read More
Close kept secrets to weight loss: Give me 9 days... Read More
The pursuit of a healthier me (or you) shouldn't involve... Read More
The world today has more obese and overweight people than... Read More
You may have read the old stories about how much... Read More
To continue the educational series on your health and fitness... Read More
Hannah was distressed that, with all the inner work she... Read More
If you've been enjoying life after gastric bypass surgery you... Read More
The South Beach Diet works, for most people. Its low... Read More
Weight loss surgery is fast becoming a very popular way... Read More
How would you like Julia Roberts to coach you on... Read More
Weight loss is a hot topic among people today, especially... Read More
In our mind's eye, we see our ancient ancestors as... Read More
Two basic approaches to losing weight; one approach is correct... Read More
Do calories matter or do you simply need to eat... Read More
There are all kinds of fad diets and quick fixes... Read More
For many years, herbalists believe that Cayenne is the most... Read More
Telling yourself you have to "struggle with this weight issue... Read More
Is it easy to lose weight? Yes. Losing weight is... Read More
For sometime now, you've been hearing about the Milk Diet... Read More
Diet pills have met with many different fates, and come... Read More
Weight Loss |