Home
>
Writing
>
5 Ways to Break the Story Spell

5 Ways to Break the Story Spell

You sink back into your favourite chair with a new book in your hand. With a barely perceptible sigh of anticipation, you turn to the first page. Ah, there's nothing like starting a brand new novel...

You start to read. Within minutes, you're engrossed in the action. A thunderstorm could break, and you wouldn't hear it. You turn the pages, immersed in the world of the story.

And then it happens. Something jars. Something is out of place.

Abruptly, you're reminded that you're reading. The sounds of the day become real again, and you're back in your everyday world.

The story spell has been broken.

Sometimes, you know what it is that has jerked you away from the characters that you're beginning to care about... perhaps an ambiguity in the text has made you re-read the paragraph, and you become aware that you're reading for meaning. Sometimes you have no idea... there's just something wrong.

As the author, the last thing you want is for your reader to be reminded that your world is not real. Sure, they know it when they first open the book - but once they start to read, they want to lose themselves in your story. Here are 5 ways you risk breaking that story spell.

1. Failing to check your work for "echoes"

It's all too easy to unintentionally repeat a word. Basic words like 'said' or 'and' don't really matter, because they are so common they are invisible to the reader. But for most words, you should try to avoid repetition even on the same page, let alone in the same paragraph or sentence.

For example:

"I don't think you should go back there," he warned. "If I were you I'd be getting out of there. They're just waiting for you to step out of line."

Did you spot the 'echo'? There were two: 'there' and 'out of'. If I were editing this piece, I'd change it to something like:

"I don't think you should go back," he warned. "They're just waiting for you to step out of line. I'd be thinking of leaving. Fast."

2. Beginning too many sentences with the same word

This happens most frequently with sentences starting with "He" or "She" or "I" - although sometimes it can be the character's name that is repeated too often.

Often, a sequence of sentences that start with the same word have a very similar structure throughout. What is the result of this? The writing seems monotonous, and readers start to get bored. They become aware that they're reading. It's not hard to think of a way to restructure sentences to avoid this sort of repetition.

An example of repeated sentence beginnings:

She crept into the house, alert for every sound. She was sure there was someone there. She could feel it...

An alternative:

She crept into the house, alert for every sound. There was someone there. In the darkness, in some corner... she could feel it.

3. Indulging in long or unfamiliar words

While you don't have to write sentences that consist entirely of words of one or two syllables, you should avoid using words that half your readers probably won't know. Good writing is transparent. That means you don't jerk the readers back to the real world because they don't know what the characters are talking about. One unfamiliar word every few chapters is okay (especially if the context makes it clear) - an unknown word every second page is not.

Your reader will start to feel annoyed, then angry because he's not in the 'club' of people who know words like this. (A few examples: expurgate, kinematic, consanguinity, promulgate. You may know the meaning, but a large percentage of your readership will not.)

4. Introducing images that are too "different"

Never forget that your aim is to make the reader:

feel what your character is feeling,
see what your character is seeing, and
hear what your character is hearing.

Some writers, in an effort to be original, come up with images that are so vivid and 'different' that they distract the reader.

For example:

"Her hair was coiled in plait around her head, like a snake sleeping in the sun." (Are you seeing hair, or a snake?)

"Fear crept up her back like a funnel web spider." (Are you feeling her fear, or visualising spiders? This one not only makes you 'see' spiders, but a particular kind of spider!)

So... be different, but not so different that your reader is reminded that he is 'just reading'.

5. "Info-dumping"

The key to reader involvment is getting deep inside your character's skin. When you're in there, you mention only what is relevant to the character at that moment.

The minute you start explaining something in detail (a forensic procedure, the history of a place, a character's backstory) you are in danger of going into "lecture mode" - that is, dumping information into the story and stopping the story flow.

Don't do it! Weave in information gradually as the story progresses - and only as much as is needed.

There are other ways to break the story spell, but these five are amongst the most common. Try to avoid them in your own work, and you'll have your reader hooked until the end of the novel!

Marg McAlister has published magazine articles, short stories, books for children, ezines, promotional material, sales letters and web content. She has written 5 distance education courses on writing, and her online help for writers is popular all over the world. Sign up for her regular writers' tipsheet at http://www.writing4success.com/

tidy up service Glenview ..

In The News:

New Android malware BankBot YNRK silences phones, steals banking data and drains crypto wallets automatically. Learn how this advanced threat works.

FDA approves first human trial for Paradromics' brain-computer interface that could restore speech for paralyzed patients through neural technology.

New phishing platform QRR targets Microsoft 365 users across 1,000 domains in 90 countries. Learn how to spot fake login pages and protect your accounts.

OpenTable now uses AI to track your dining habits and share insights with restaurants. Learn what data they collect and how to protect your privacy.

Google's discontinued Nest thermostats still secretly upload home data to company servers despite losing smart features, raising serious privacy concerns.

New Android malware NGate steals NFC payment codes in real-time, allowing criminals to withdraw cash from ATMs without your card. Learn protection tips.

DoorDash confirms data breach exposing customer names, emails, addresses after social engineering attack. Learn how to protect yourself from scams.

Concerned about Google's AI scanning your Gmail? Learn how to disable Gemini features that access your emails, Drive files and Chat messages for privacy.

Google warns Android users about dangerous fake VPN apps hiding malware that steals passwords, banking details and personal data from phones and tablets.

Apple's digital passport feature lets iPhone users breeze through TSA checkpoints this holiday season using Digital ID technology at 250+ airports.

A new phishing scam targets family photos with fake "Cloud Storage Full" alerts. Criminals steal credit card information through fake sites. Learn protection tips.

South Korean scientists create ultra-thin fabric muscles that turn clothes into robotic assistants, lifting 33 pounds while weighing under half an ounce.

Archer Aviation has acquired Hawthorne Airport for $126M to launch an LA air taxi network ahead of the 2028 Olympics, featuring AI-powered eVTOL operations and next-gen aviation tech.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Fake AI apps disguised as "ChatGPT" and "DALL·E" are flooding app stores with dangerous malware that steals data and monitors users without detection.

Fake buyers demand specific vehicle reports from unknown sites to steal credit card information from car sellers, but warning signs can help identify these scams before paying.

Android users can now manage apps across multiple devices more easily with Google Play Store's updated remote uninstall button in the latest update.

NASA's Perseverance rover discovers shiny metallic rock on Mars that could be a meteorite from an ancient asteroid, containing high levels of iron and nickel.

Holiday scams spike during Black Friday and Cyber Monday as criminals exploit your leaked personal data. Learn how to protect yourself from fake stores and phishing.

Commerce Department proposes TP-Link router ban over Chinese security risks. Learn how this potential prohibition could affect your home network and devices.

Hyundai AutoEver America suffered a data breach affecting 2,000 current and former employees, exposing names, Social Security numbers and driver's license information.

Washington court rules automated license plate reader images are public records, even when stored by vendors like Flock Safety, setting precedent for transparency.

Fake airline texts claiming flight cancellations are targeting travelers with convincing scams. Learn how cybercriminals steal personal data and credit card info.

Discover how iOS 26's new Adaptive Power feature automatically extends iPhone battery life by learning your usage patterns and adjusting performance intelligently.

New TikTok malware campaign tricks users into running PowerShell commands that download Aura Stealer, which steals credentials and authentication tokens.

5 Ways to Break the Story Spell

Writing