5 Ways to Break the Story Spell

You sink back into your favourite chair with a new book in your hand. With a barely perceptible sigh of anticipation, you turn to the first page. Ah, there's nothing like starting a brand new novel...

You start to read. Within minutes, you're engrossed in the action. A thunderstorm could break, and you wouldn't hear it. You turn the pages, immersed in the world of the story.

And then it happens. Something jars. Something is out of place.

Abruptly, you're reminded that you're reading. The sounds of the day become real again, and you're back in your everyday world.

The story spell has been broken.

Sometimes, you know what it is that has jerked you away from the characters that you're beginning to care about... perhaps an ambiguity in the text has made you re-read the paragraph, and you become aware that you're reading for meaning. Sometimes you have no idea... there's just something wrong.

As the author, the last thing you want is for your reader to be reminded that your world is not real. Sure, they know it when they first open the book - but once they start to read, they want to lose themselves in your story. Here are 5 ways you risk breaking that story spell.

1. Failing to check your work for "echoes"

It's all too easy to unintentionally repeat a word. Basic words like 'said' or 'and' don't really matter, because they are so common they are invisible to the reader. But for most words, you should try to avoid repetition even on the same page, let alone in the same paragraph or sentence.

For example:

"I don't think you should go back there," he warned. "If I were you I'd be getting out of there. They're just waiting for you to step out of line."

Did you spot the 'echo'? There were two: 'there' and 'out of'. If I were editing this piece, I'd change it to something like:

"I don't think you should go back," he warned. "They're just waiting for you to step out of line. I'd be thinking of leaving. Fast."

2. Beginning too many sentences with the same word

This happens most frequently with sentences starting with "He" or "She" or "I" - although sometimes it can be the character's name that is repeated too often.

Often, a sequence of sentences that start with the same word have a very similar structure throughout. What is the result of this? The writing seems monotonous, and readers start to get bored. They become aware that they're reading. It's not hard to think of a way to restructure sentences to avoid this sort of repetition.

An example of repeated sentence beginnings:

She crept into the house, alert for every sound. She was sure there was someone there. She could feel it...

An alternative:

She crept into the house, alert for every sound. There was someone there. In the darkness, in some corner... she could feel it.

3. Indulging in long or unfamiliar words

While you don't have to write sentences that consist entirely of words of one or two syllables, you should avoid using words that half your readers probably won't know. Good writing is transparent. That means you don't jerk the readers back to the real world because they don't know what the characters are talking about. One unfamiliar word every few chapters is okay (especially if the context makes it clear) - an unknown word every second page is not.

Your reader will start to feel annoyed, then angry because he's not in the 'club' of people who know words like this. (A few examples: expurgate, kinematic, consanguinity, promulgate. You may know the meaning, but a large percentage of your readership will not.)

4. Introducing images that are too "different"

Never forget that your aim is to make the reader:

  • feel what your character is feeling,

  • see what your character is seeing, and

  • hear what your character is hearing.

Some writers, in an effort to be original, come up with images that are so vivid and 'different' that they distract the reader.

For example:

"Her hair was coiled in plait around her head, like a snake sleeping in the sun." (Are you seeing hair, or a snake?)

"Fear crept up her back like a funnel web spider." (Are you feeling her fear, or visualising spiders? This one not only makes you 'see' spiders, but a particular kind of spider!)

So... be different, but not so different that your reader is reminded that he is 'just reading'.

5. "Info-dumping"

The key to reader involvment is getting deep inside your character's skin. When you're in there, you mention only what is relevant to the character at that moment.

The minute you start explaining something in detail (a forensic procedure, the history of a place, a character's backstory) you are in danger of going into "lecture mode" - that is, dumping information into the story and stopping the story flow.

Don't do it! Weave in information gradually as the story progresses - and only as much as is needed.

There are other ways to break the story spell, but these five are amongst the most common. Try to avoid them in your own work, and you'll have your reader hooked until the end of the novel!

(c) Copyright Marg McAlister

Marg McAlister has published magazine articles, short stories, books for children, ezines, promotional material, sales letters and web content. She has written 5 distance education courses on writing, and her online help for writers is popular all over the world. Sign up for her regular writers' tipsheet at http://www.writing4success.com/

Twin Lakes rental limo .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare
In The News:

The White House launched a new cybersecurity safety label, the U.S. Cyber Trust Mark, intended to help consumers make informed decisions on smart device safety.
Today's tech can help make life so much easier — if you know how to use it. Here are a few tips on the quickest and best ways to make your phone, laptop and other devices work for you.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers Windows 11 restart fixes: Update drivers, run system scans and check hardware.
Sony and Honda's Afeela 1 EV launches with advanced tech and entertainment for $89,900. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson gives his takeaways.
With limited hard drive space, tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers these tips for storing large video files and photos.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says the $236,000 Yangwang U9 electric hypercar boasts 1,287 horsepower and can jump obstacles.
Flip phones are harder to block spam calls from, but it's not impossible. Kurt the "CyberGuy" explains how to stop incoming robocalls on your flip phone.
With so many notifications buzzing our phones these days, it's tough to distinguish between legitimate messages and possible scams. Kurt the CyberGuy helps unravel the mystery.
Scammers have a new trick where they pretend to be job recruiters to plant malicious apps on your devices. It all starts with a deceptive email.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
Kurt the CyberGuy breaks down why those emails that warn that "Your Apple ID has been disabled" is most likely a scam. Here's how to protect yourself.
Even small mistakes can negatively impact your credit score; here are some of the most common credit report errors and how you can fix them.
Tech guru Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explores the many different ways you can repurpose that old iPhone of yours rather than trashing it.
A pioneering artificial intelligence and robotics company from China has developed a repository of over 1 million robotic movements to provide robotic training.
Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals the warning signs and steps to take if you suspect that your personal computer is infected with a virus.
Researchers found in a study that users of a robotic prosthetic hand could successfully grasp and move two objects at once without dropping them.
The James Webb Space Telescope captured photos of one of the earliest supernovas ever seen using infrared technology, and creating a time lapse of the phenomena.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
New Mac malware variant targets browser credentials and personal data, researchers find. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson gives tips to safeguard your Mac from the latest malware threats.
The Jetson One eVTOL showcases air racing potential, ushering in a new aviation era. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says the race for eVTOL supremacy is just beginning.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals that hackers stole data from Gravy Analytics, a major seller of smartphone location data to the U.S.
Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson: If you just bought a new iPhone, here’s what to do first when you fire it up.
AC Future and Pininfarina unveil AI Transformer homes, merging sustainability and innovation. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says this could change the way we think about home.
Technology expert Kim Komando shares her easy tips on how to declutter your phones, computers and devices from the files you no longer need.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson has the details on a Volkswagen data leak that exposed the personal data of around 800,000 EV owners.

Freelance or Staff

There is no doubt that a staff writer enjoys advantages... Read More

Plotting Problems - Episodic Writing

The rejection letter says: "Your story, on the surface, appears... Read More

Write That Down! Compulsively Collecting Content for Your Writing

Have you ever read someone else's writing and thought one... Read More

A Writers Personal Cheer Squad

We all need a cheer squad.We all need people to... Read More

A Beginners Guide to Writing a Novel

No one is born a novel writer. But do you... Read More

Use These 3 Editing Tips to Ensure Your Writing Hits the Bull?s-Eye

The first step in the writing process is to put... Read More

Self-Examination

Self-examination sheds light on a writers motives, goals, and aspirations,... Read More

Aesop, Abraham Lincoln, and You

May I tell you about a writing technique shared by... Read More

Cheap Therapy

I call it cheap therapy. That gushing, near-religious, poured-from-the-body stress... Read More

7 Steps to Successful Publishing

The decision to publish a book is very exciting! It... Read More

In Your Own Words

More Tips For New Writers (Part I)Explain in your own... Read More

The Demon Fear

You have a great idea for a poem, a story,... Read More

Local Knowledge: Background and Historical Setting in Novels

You're writing a story set in your local city, but... Read More

Use Real-Life Templates For Writing Success

At some point along the way, most of us have... Read More

Screenwriting and Screenwriters ? beyond Syd Field

Without denigrating the work and contribution of Syd Field to... Read More

Writing Short Info Reports

People want information, they want it quick, frequently in short... Read More

Editing and Polishing - How Much is Enough?

A few days ago, I critiqued a chapter for a... Read More

Using Metaphor Effectively

We've all heard a politician on their soapbox, pushing for... Read More

Screenwriting ? Five Golden Insights

Originality emerges from structure. Once you have a story idea,... Read More

Vital Verbs

Remember back in the dark days of your school years... Read More

Written Communications ? 6 Tips on Language & Tone

In most aspects of business, we will be expected to... Read More

How To Identify Your Own Style Of Writing

This article is to help identify which style, technique or... Read More

How To Stay Fit While Writing

Day after day, writers tend to sit for hours writing... Read More

Kick-Start your Juices

Listen, consider this scenario.You have a deadline to honour. Time... Read More

To Tell If You Are A Literary Snob

"I don't know if I should put 'writer' on my... Read More

West Dundee Lincoln Stretch limo rentals ..