Home
>
Writing
>
Dialogue Tags - A Study in Common Errors

Dialogue Tags - A Study in Common Errors

Verb and Subject

Incorrect:

"I bet you two had a fine time," said Ben.

When using tags, it's unusual to have the verb before the subject. The general rule of thumb is to use this construction sparingly, as a rare change in pace or flow. In addition, many editors are asking this construction not appear at all in a manuscript.

Correct:

"I bet you two had a fine time," Ben said.

The Comma and As

Incorrect:

"Do you kiss toads often? Or are you just a little weird?" Betty asked, wrinkling her nose in distaste.

"I often find the little green guys cute. You should try it sometime," Bertha said as she giggled.

In both instances, the comma after asked, and the 'as' after said, indicate the dialogue tag isn't necessary. Each is greatly improved by removing the tag and allowing the following sentence to stand on its own.

Correct:

"Do you kiss toads often? Or are you just a little weird?" Betty wrinkled her nose in distaste.

"I often find the little green guys cute. You should try it sometime." Bertha giggled.

Unnecessary Tags

Incorrect:

Mary scoffed at the idea. "I don't think you want me at your party," she replied.

Since we are firmly in Mary's head at the point of her dialogue, it can be assumed it is her reply. If you use a tag like this, ask yourself if it's really necessary. Is it obvious this is her reply? Then you don't need it. New writer's struggle with the idea that every bit of dialogue needs to be accredited to a character, otherwise the reader will be confused. The idea is to write so well from one character's perspective, that the reader will immediately tell who's dialogue it is.

Correct:

Mary scoffed at the idea. "I don't think you want me at your party."

Over Explaining the Tag

Incorrect:

"I don't care if you kiss all the frogs in the world, you aren't bringing that toad to my party," Shelly warned, her voice rising.

Ask yourself these questions when you find yourself hunting for words to explain the dialogue in the tag:

Is Shelly's dialogue showing her warning?

Is it clear from what Shelly says that her voice is rising?

What am I trying to show Shelly feeling with this tag?

You won't need to ask yourself these questions as you discover your own style more, but in the meantime, it's a good idea to look through your tags to see if any of them could be replaced, or simply deleted. Her outrage could have been shown much better by this sentence:

Correct:

"I don't care if you kiss all the frogs in the world, you aren't bringing that toad to my party." Shelly glared, hands on hips.

Conjunction Tags

Incorrect:

"You look lovely in that dress," Biff said, "and I think you're going to be the belle of the ball."

Although this break is all right occasionally, it should be used with extreme caution. A better approach is to lend depth to the moment at the break.

Correct:

"You look lovely in that dress." Biff leaned closer, his words a whisper against her flesh. "I think you're going to be the belle of the ball."

Showing Impact

Incorrect:

She wanted to scream, to run for help, but she remained frozen, like a trapped animal. "You killed him for money?"

"Exactly," he said.

"How could you?" She asked as adrenalin rushed movement back into her limbs and she backed away.

Obviously this is an excerpt from a larger scene. By the time the reader finds this exchange, they'll be familiar with all the players. To add impact to a statement, it's sometimes best to leave a tag off entirely, especially with a two-character exchange.

Correct:

She wanted to scream, to run for help, but she remained frozen, like a trapped animal. "You killed him for money?"

"Exactly."

"How could you?" Adrenalin flooded her limbs and she backed away.

Multiple Tags

Incorrect:

"You have to understand," Sean said as he clenched her wrists tighter. His eyes darkened with a menacing plea as he stated, "He was evil, I had to do it."

In this paragraph, we are firmly in Sean's head by the action described in the middle, there is no need to explain he is still speaking.

Correct:

"You have to understand." Sean clenched her wrists tighter. His eyes darkened with a menacing plea. "He was evil, I had to do it."

As with any rules in writing, there are always exceptions. However, once you've changed any of the problematic tags in your work to these more active and exciting tags, you'll find the pace of your work becomes faster and the work overall is much cleaner.

About The Author

Author of dozens of articles and award winning short stories, Jennifer Turner offers caring and concise critiques for aspiring authors without the high cost of big business editorial services at, ROTO-WRITER CRITIQUE SERVICE http://jturner.00books.com/index.html

http://jturner.00books.com/index.html

affordable house cleaning Park Ridge ..

In The News:

Holiday shopping scams surge as fake refund emails target distracted consumers during Black Friday and holiday seasons, costing Americans billions annually.

The AI-powered IRMO M1 exoskeleton features four modes, including turbo, eco, training and rest for hiking, running, cycling and sports with eight-hour battery life.

OpenAI announced upgrades for its ChatGPT Images platform on Tuesday, saying the program can now make more precise edits and produce images more quickly.

Chrome for Android now turns web articles into AI-powered podcast conversations. Get hands-free browsing with Google Gemini's natural audio summaries.

LastPass faces $1.6 million fine from U.K. regulators after 2022 data breach exposed 1.6 million users. Password manager failed proper security controls.

Petco disclosed a data breach exposing customer Social Security numbers, financial account details, and driver's license information due to a software error.

Baseball teams can now analyze complete swing mechanics in normal training environments using Theia's markerless AI system that processes standard high-speed footage.

Smart home hacking fears overblown? Expert reveals real cybersecurity risks and simple protection tips to keep your connected devices safe from hackers.

MIT develops needle-free glucose monitor using light technology. Revolutionary device could replace painful finger pricks for diabetes management.

The ClickFix campaign disguises malware as legitimate Windows updates, using steganography to hide shellcode in PNG files and bypass security detection systems.

Researchers from Osaka Metropolitan University designed a 21-foot dome that combines aquaculture and hydroponics to create a self-sustaining urban food system.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

ChatGPT data breach exposes personal info of users through partner Mixpanel. OpenAI confirms names, emails compromised in security incident.

Android rolls out Emergency Live Video for 911 calls, letting dispatchers see real-time scenes during emergencies. Great for holiday travel safety.

Malicious Chrome and Edge extensions collected browsing history, keystrokes and personal data from millions of users before Google and Microsoft removed them.

Google's new Call Reason feature lets Android users mark calls as urgent before dialing, displaying an urgent label to recipients using Phone by Google app.

Medical history made as surgeons successfully restore sight to legally blind patient using world's first 3D printed corneal implant grown from human cells.

Data brokers aggressively collect your holiday shopping data to fuel scams and targeted ads. Learn how to delete your digital profile before 2025 starts.

Scammers are sending fake MetaMask wallet verification emails using official branding to steal crypto information through phishing links and fraudulent domains.

Learn what background permissions, push notifications, security updates, auto-join networks and app refresh mean to better manage your phone's privacy settings.

Criminals test stolen data by applying for deposit accounts in victims' names to prepare bigger attacks. Learn why banks won't share fraud details.

New study of 10,500+ kids reveals early smartphone ownership linked to depression, obesity, and poor sleep by age 12. Earlier phones mean higher risks.

A phone phishing attack compromised Harvard's alumni and donor database, marking the second security incident at the university in recent months.

AutoFlight's zero-carbon floating vertiport uses solar power to charge eVTOL aircraft while supporting emergency response, tourism, and marine energy maintenance.

A new phone return scam targets recent buyers with fake carrier calls. Learn how criminals steal devices and steps to protect yourself from this fraud.

Dialogue Tags - A Study in Common Errors

Writing