Home
>
Writing
>
Friendly Critiques

Friendly Critiques

When a writer is working on their next literary masterpiece the first opinions to be asked for are usually those of the writer's family and friends. But often when we ask for a friendly critique we get more than we anticipated.

I remember asking my family what they honestly thought of my writing. My daughter and two oldest sons were careful not to hurt my feelings. My youngest son honestly declared that I am definitely not a poet. My husband bluntly told me that my writing put him to sleep but he thought that was a good thing especially when he had insomnia.

A couple of my friends insisted that everything I wrote was absolutely wonderful! Of course, that was a dead give away as to their honest opinion. Another of my friends didn't know a critique from a competition. Every time I asked for her opinion she automatically went into compete mode. The worst part was that she never did critique my work one way or the other. As soon as I would ask for her opinion on something I wrote she would just start bragging about her house, car, kids, husband and anything else she could think of. As you can probably figure, I stopped asking for her opinion.

The point is, if you want an honest opinion, asking your friends and family might provide you with anything but a truthful critique. Friends and relatives tend to be either too blatantly honest, such as my son or they tend to not be completely honest in an attempt to spare your feelings.

Being the friend isn't always an easy position to be in either. If you tell your friend you love her work, her reaction might be something like this, "Oh, you're just saying that because you're my friend." If you tell your friend the work is good but it could be better, you may get a response such as, "How can you say that? I thought you were my friend?" You might find yourself caught in the middle, feeling like you're doomed no matter what you say. Have you been in a situation like this before? Maybe you've put your friend on the spot. At one time or another, most of us have been on one or both sides of the fence before. It's not a good place to be.

If you're the friend in this kind of situation you might suggest to your writer buddy that he or she join an online writing group where critiques are gladly given. If you're not a writer you might explain that you just don't feel qualified to give an accurate critique. For instance, "You know me. I can barely write a letter and I can't even remember the last time I picked up a book! Are you sure you want MY opinion?"

But if your friend really knows you well he or she won't fall for such a feeble attempt to get out of giving a critique. If you are the one asking for the critique don't put pressure on your friends. If they don't feel comfortable expressing their opinion, then respect that and let it go. If you continue to pressure you might not be happy with the results. If you're going to ask for an honest opinion then you better be prepared to hear it.

Too often we think we want to hear the opinion of others but once those opinions are voiced we are upset with what we've been told. Even if you get a negative critique you can find something positive in it. Take something from it and find where you can improve. Don't let a negative critique upset you; let it make you stronger.

Joining a writing group can have its perks. You can get honest (well sometimes) opinions from writers who have the same doubts as you do. They can give advice, share experiences, console and uplift you through periods of writer's block or rejection. They can help support you as you work toward your goals and inspire your creativity. You can do the same for them. You learn from each other. So give your friends a break and write on.

Darlene Zagata is a freelance writer and columnist for the print publication Moon Shadows Magazine. She is also the author of "Aftertaste: A Collection of Poems" and "The Choosing." Her work has been published extensively both online and in print. For more information visit her website at http://darlenezagata.tripod.com or contact Darlene at http://darlenezagata.tripod.com

rental limo Atlanta .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

A Texas company is developing a hypersonic jet, Stargazer, that could fly from New York City to London in under an hour, redefining boundaries of aviation.

Porch pirates are on the prowl this holiday season. Tech guru Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson has a number of tips to prevent holiday package thefts.

Fueled by artificial intelligence, CyberDog the robotic dog is designed specifically locate fire ant nests, which are endangering ecosystems.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents

Internet browsers are useful, but they can be dangerous. Clicking on malicious links can direct you to dangerous websites that steal information or infect your device.

Apple's latest iOS update introduces advanced artificial intelligence capabilities, which may be capturing and analyzing sensitive information.

Breach site confirmed 56,904,909 Hot Topic users' data leaked online. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says the company's silence makes matters even worse.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how an innovative Easy-Way kit turns standard strollers electric, simplifying navigation for parents.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about T-Mobile being hacked in broad cyberattack on global phone and internet companies.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson shows you how to add, customize and manage widgets for quick access to apps and info from your iPhone home screen.

Wrong Google searches can not only compromise your device and personal data. They can also bring law enforcement to your doorstep. Hackers are targeting Google searches.

China's Shanghai Kepler Robotics has developed a new humanoid robot that can carry up to 35 pounds per hand for commercial applications across various industries

Checking your hearing has gotten easier with the new hearing test feature in AirPods Pro 2. You can take reliable hearing tests using your iPhone or iPad.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how a VPN — virtual private network — works and how running it can slow down the operation of your device.

The WalkON Suit F1, an exoskeleton developed to help people with disabilities, can actually walk over to a person in a wheelchair, solving a major problem.

ClickFix, a new scam targeting computer users, is on the rise in the U.S. The scam prompts its targets to click on a link to fix a problem.

Skydweller is the world's largest unmanned solar-powered aircraft that can stay airborne for weeks, and even months, without refueling.

The U.S. government said it is investigating after People's Republic of China hackers targeted commercial telecommunications service providers in the U.S.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Scammers are using increasingly sophisticated ways to lure unsuspecting victims, and some are impersonating an email help desk or support team.

You can unsend or edit your iMessages with the latest iOS updates. Kurt the CyberGuy explains how you can save yourself some potential embarrassment.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says there’s been a rise in cybercriminal services using hacked police and government emails to send subpoenas and data requests to U.S. companies.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how Axiom Space and luxury designer Prada are collaborating on NASA's Artemis III spacesuit design.

Friendly Critiques

Writing