How To Cut the Clutter and Win Readers

Most of us hate housework.

Nevertheless, even the most hopeless slobs amongst us would agree that we love having a clean, organised house. It looks more inviting. It's easy to find what you want, when you want it. If only it didn't take so much time to get it that way!

If you're lucky enough to have a cleaner, then you've solved the problem. It's someone else's job to clean up and get rid of the dust and the mess. Most of us don't have that luxury. If we want a clean and clutter-free environment, we have to work to get it that way.

It's exactly the same when it comes to writing. If you want a fresh, clutter-free piece of text - you have to clean it up yourself. Readers don't like to be surrounded by clutter any more than you do.

What Is "Clutter"?

"Clutter" in writing may be described as anything that clogs up the channel between the writer's imagination and the reader's experience. If you have a hard time identifying what is clutter and what isn't, use these points to guide you.

  • Be guided by the viewpoint character's thoughts, emotions and reactions. Climb inside the skin of the viewpoint character. What does he/she feel? Think? Decide? When something happens, what would this character's logical reaction be?

  • If something is not noticed by the viewpoint character, or is not important, don't put it in.

  • Don't over-explain. Remember that we all come to any novel with a host of experiences behind us. Readers and authors share many common experiences. For example: mention the word 'vomit' and that is quite enough for most readers to fill in the gaps. They don't need you to go into detail about the smell, texture, colour and so on.

  • Avoid the temptation to personify inanimate objects. If you attribute human characteristics or emotions to anything from a mailbox to a rock, it (a) distracts the reader, focusing his/her attention on something that is not important and (b) reduces the impact of the human character's emotions. (In a fantasy novel, of course, you may have all sorts of strange objects or creatures that take on human characteristics.)

  • Avoid repetition. This means repeated words or phrases (often repeated because the writer is too lazy to find an alternative) and repeated ideas. You don't need to explain the same thing three different ways.

  • Avoid words that will be unfamiliar to most readers. Don't take the high road and decide that it's your job to improve your readers' vocabularies. Most of them won't thank you for it. They don't want to put down the book and go find a dictionary. One unfamiliar word isn't a problem; a book full of them annoys the reader intensely. Do you want to annoy your readers? I hope not. An Example Of A Scene Filled With Clutter

    Gasping for air, Marcy raced through the dark green forest, not daring to look behind her in her state of raw panic. Tripping on a protruding root she half-fell, but recovered quickly and maintained her reckless headlong course through the knotted vines and lashing branches that were taking evil swipes at her as she ran. She had to get away from her pursuers.

    "Ouch!" she yelped as yet another branch attacked her, the 'thwack' of its savage assault echoing through the half-light. Almost falling again she managed to recover, grabbing on to a handy nearby swinging vine to save herself. Wishing she had never set out on this trip, she decided to stop to catch her breath. Taking the opportunity to look around, she suddenly saw a strange plant, its leaves an odd mottled purple that was at odds with all the greenery that surrounded it on every side. What a strange plant, she thought.

    Going over to take a closer look, she was intrigued by the way the plant seemed to be in a space of its own. No other plants grew close in the dim light of the forest; this one was entirely by itself. What's Wrong With The Above Scene?

    Plenty! I'm amazed you've persevered this far. (It made me nauseous just having to write it.) Okay, I've exaggerated the problems in the above excerpt somewhat to make my point - but I've seen worse. Much worse, actually.

    Here are some of the problems in the scene I created:

  • Over-explaining; repetition. We are shown that Marcy is in a state of panic by the way she's racing through the forest 'not daring to look behind her'. It's not necessary to add 'in her state of raw panic' or even 'her reckless headlong course'. Ditto for the words 'strange' and 'plant' - look for the instances of repetition. The fact that a vine is 'handy' implies that it is nearby, and it's in the nature of vines to swing - so we don't need the words 'nearby' or 'swinging'.

  • Trees are just trees; vines are just vines. Marcy is getting caught up in them because she's running blindly to get away from her pursuer(s). Unless she's in some kind of enchanted forest, the trees could not be taking 'evil' swipes, and they are not 'attacking' her in some 'savage assault'. The writer should be showing Marcy's fear through her thoughts and reactions, rather than attempting to generate suspense through giving the trees human attributes.

  • Marcy's main aim is to escape her pursuers. Put yourself in Marcy's place. If you were running from someone or something, what would be your main concern? (a) to get away and (b) to make sure they were nowhere close if you had to stop. If you had to stop to catch your breath, is it likely you would suddenly forget your pursuers to look more closely at a strange plant? Of course not. You'd listen for sounds of pursuit and decide whether you needed to keep going or hide.

  • Make sure your characters act logically. Anything else is clutter. (In this case, if the strange plant is important to the plot, think of a more convincing way to bring it into the story rather than plonking it right in Marcy's path and having her 'suddenly' notice it.)

  • Avoid long sentences with lots of detail when you are trying to create the impression of haste and fear. For example: "Tripping on a protruding root she half-fell, but recovered quickly, maintaining her reckless headlong course through the knotted vines and lashing branches that were taking evil swipes at her as she ran." Do we feel Marcy's terror? Can we feel the burning of her lungs as she runs, gasping for air? Can we feel the pain as she falls? No, no and no. The writer is telling, not showing. In this sentence, the main character seems somewhat removed from what is happening to her. We're reading about her rather than looking through her eyes.

  • There's an over-reliance on the '...ing' construction. This is one of the main culprits in making a passage of text slow-paced and repetitive. In the example above we have sentences starting with "gasping"; "tripping"; "wishing" and "taking" - not to mention the other "ing" words that pepper the text: "protruding", "maintaining", "lashing", "echoing", "falling", "taking", and "swinging". Check all your work to make sure you're not showing symptoms of the "ing" disease! These are just a few of the things that can clutter your writing and make it hard for the reader to struggle through. Cut the clutter - and keep your readers turning pages.

    (c) copyright Marg McAlister

    Marg McAlister has published magazine articles, short stories, books for children, ezines, promotional material, sales letters and web content. She has written 5 distance education courses on writing, and her online help for writers is popular all over the world. Sign up for her regular writers' tipsheet at http://www.writing4success.com/

    shuttle from O'Hare Brocton .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare
    In The News:

    Experts say hackers who used to focus on Windows operating systems are increasingly targeting Apple IDs as part of a new phishing campaign.
    Unitree, a Chinese robotics company that developed a backflipping robot, has now introduced a humanoid robot capable of doing a side flip.
    Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
    According to the FBI, cybercriminals are sending extortion letters, threatening to release victims' sensitive information unless a ransom is paid.
    FireSat is a satellite project designed to detect and track wildfires early, aiming to detect a fire that's the size of a classroom within 20 minutes.
    Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reports that researchers have uncovered a Chrome vulnerability used in a cyber espionage campaign.
    Preserving voicemails securely on Android: Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals easy methods to keep memories alive forever.
    This phishing kit bypasses 2FA via session hijacking and real-time credential theft. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers four ways to stay safe from Astaroth phishing attacks.
    Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses Joby Aviation and Virgin Atlantic planning to launch 200-mph U.K. air taxis linking airports and cities.
    Fake Apple virus warnings, security alerts and messages are tactics used to prompt you to call a number or click on a malicious link. The CyberGuy explains how to protect your devices.
    The combination of artificial intelligence and neuroscience allows a paralyzed man to manipulate a robotic arm by using his brain to imagine movements.
    With the help of artificial intelligence, sophisticated fraud techniques emerging today are virtually undetectable to the untrained eye.
    Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents
    If you need to free up space on your Mac, consider deleting duplicate photos in your image library. Apple makes it easy to do, and the CyberGuy explains the process.
    Microsoft is discontinuing Skype in May after 22 years of service. Kurt the CyberGuy addresses other options for internet-based phone and video service.
    Tron 1, a Chinese company's two-legged robot, is versatile and can walk, roll and pivot, even on rough terrain. Tron 1 stands 33 inches tall and weighs 44 pounds.
    Hackers are tricking people into installing password-stealing malware by making them press keyboard shortcuts under the pretense of proving they're not bots.
    Saving the voices of loved ones can be a comforting way to keep alive memories. Kurt "the CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how to preserve voicemail messages.
    Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
    The FBI warns that some free online document converters load malware onto people's computers, making their private information vulnerable to attack.
    Toyota's compact electric FT-Me is designed to tackle challenges of city living while offering an accessible and eco-friendly transportation solution.
    Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says 23andMe's bankruptcy raises data privacy fears: Opt out, download and delete data now.
    UBTech and Zeekr unite with AI robot swarms to make car manufacturing faster and smarter. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how the process works.
    Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says Apple's Passwords app had a three-month phishing flaw from iOS 18 to 18.2 patch.
    Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how this super-small electric mini-truck takes a big step toward production.
  • Nobody Likes A Rambler

    We all know people who ramble. They include every boring... Read More

    Formats for Writing Life Narratives

    Q and A.Best choice when subject is very verbal or... Read More

    Is The Theme Reinforced In The Ending?

    Creative Writing Tips ?By now you should have an idea... Read More

    Do You Plot With Your Character In Mind?

    Creative Writing Tips ?You are plotting the story. You write... Read More

    How to Finish Your Self-Published Book Fast

    Started a book and then got bogged down? Like many... Read More

    Personal Journaling - Strategies To Make It Easy

    Recently I was watching the Oprah show and it was... Read More

    Getting the Story Down

    Questions and answers on writing life experiences for ourselves and... Read More

    Whats in a Name? Giving Birth to your Characters

    So you've got your plot outlined, a title lined up... Read More

    Crime Writing Beckons

    If your cash is running out fast and you have... Read More

    Hero?s Journey ? The Herald

    Beyond three and four act story structure, lies the Hero's... Read More

    Writers can Grow to be Comfortable with Criticism

    On my first newspaper assignment as a critic, I was... Read More

    To Tell If You Are A Literary Snob

    "I don't know if I should put 'writer' on my... Read More

    Is Someone Plagiarizing Your Work?

    About two weeks ago I received an article submissionthat immediately... Read More

    Does Each Element of Your Story Further The Theme?

    Creative Writing Tips ?Whichever theme you choose, all the elements,... Read More

    10 Tips To Help You Pack More Power Into Your Business Writing

    1. Before you write anything down define not what you... Read More

    Writing Made Them Rich #4: Paulo Coelho

    Paulo Coelho was born on August 24th 1947 in Rio... Read More

    Basic Word Processing Tips for Writers

    Word processors are so widely used now that I tend... Read More

    The Authors Life: 14 Hints on Creating a Career Plan

    1. Remember publication is a business; writing is an art.... Read More

    Writing Press Releases That Get Noticed

    Among the various foolproof methods used to boost traffic to... Read More

    9 More Writing Tips for Successful Email Marketing

    A few months ago, I wrote a guide entitled: 101... Read More

    Editing Secrets

    Once you've plotted out your book, developed the characters and... Read More

    The Magic of Layout in Your Story

    "The Magic of Layout..."???Okay... "magic" might seem a bit over... Read More

    Should You Hire a Ghostwriter?

    Have you heard the term 'ghostwriter' and wondered what they... Read More

    The Power of Punctuation

    Punctuation, when used creatively, is powerful. Note, however, that when... Read More

    Idea-Mining for Writers, 102

    As many authors are fond of stating, "Ideas are all... Read More

    Chicago charter limousine service Hickory Hills ..