Way back in your early school years, you were probably taught to use the tag "he thought" in your stories, to tip readers off that someone was thinking. If you substituted something more innovative, like "he pondered" or "Harry deliberated", you might even have scored a big red tick.
If you liked to read as well as write, you probably cottoned on to the fact that there are other ways to indicate thoughts - such as using italics. (It's not likely that a teacher pointed this out to you. Usually, teachers considered their job done once they'd taught you about "he thought".)
Great! Off you went, liberally sprinkling italics all over your stories to show what was going on in your character's head. Occasionally you might have used italics AND "he thought". No way the reader could get confused then!
Neither of these two methods is the best way to show thoughts.
The single most effective way is to show what your characters are thinking is to blend their thoughts into the narrative flow. Instead of moving into the present tense, stay in the past tense. (Unless your entire story is in the present tense, of course.)
Let's use a few examples to show the difference.
Using The Present Tense To Indicate Thoughts
Chris slowly descended the stairs, all senses alert. What if someone attacks me? I won't be much use to Laura if I'm dead.
He stopped on the bottom tread, holding his breath and peering into the gloom. Over in the far corner, something moved... or was he imagining things? No, something did move. Chris was sure of it. He swallowed. I wish I had stayed at home. What's wrong with this? The constant switching from past to present tense and from third person to first person is annoying to the reader. The "flow" is much smoother if the tense and person remain the same - unless clear signals are given to the reader. In this example, the writer has not even used a simple tag, "he thought", to prepare the reader.
2. Using The Tag "He Thought" Chris slowly descended the stairs, all senses alert. What if someone attacks me? he thought. I won't be much use to Laura if I'm dead.
He stopped on the bottom tread, holding his breath and peering into the gloom. Over in the far corner, something moved... or was he imagining things? No, he thought, something did move. Chris was sure of it. He swallowed. I wish I had stayed at home. This is an improvement. Now that we've inserted "he thought", the reader has clear signals. They're prepared for the change in tense - they know that most thoughts are in the present tense.
Tip: When you use the tag "he thought", try to get it as close to the beginning of the thoughts as possible. Note in the example above, I've written:
No, he thought, something did move.
NOT
No, something did move, he thought.
This is because readers commonly take in chunks of text when they read, rather than reading one word at a time. The closer the words 'he thought' are to the beginning of the thought, the clearer the signal to the reader that things are changing.
3. Using Italics Chris slowly descended the stairs, all senses alert. What if someone attacks me? I won't be much use to Laura if I'm dead.
He stopped on the bottom tread, holding his breath and peering into the gloom. Over in the far corner, something moved... or was he imagining things? No, something did move. Chris was sure of it. He swallowed. I wish I had stayed at home. The use of italics is another clear signal that we are reading someone's thoughts. They are a valuable tool - if they are not over-used. What you are reading here is just a small sample of text, but there are quite a few italics.
Imagine if the character did a lot of thinking. (Which is probable. Most of us are thinking all the time as we go about our daily business.) In every second paragraph there would be another sentence in italics.
So, some of you may be thinking... is there really a problem with that?
Yes, there is. Italics are used for other purposes apart from to show thoughts. Some authors write page after page of italics to show a dream, or put the whole prologue in italics. Italics are often used for emphasis, too (as we saw in Part #1 of this article). If your readers see italics, they may subconsciously give more emphasis to those thoughts than you'd intended.
A good rule of thumb is this: Use italics for thoughts that are especially significant in some way - or such strong thoughts that you want to see them emphasised in the mind of the reader. This might happen at times of great stress or fear for your character.
Now we'll move on to the best, least intrusive way to show a character's thoughts... blended into the natural flow of the text.
4. Blending Thoughts Into the Narrative
Chris slowly descended the stairs, all senses alert. What if someone attacked him? He wouldn't be much use to Laura if he were dead.
He stopped on the bottom tread, holding his breath and peering into the gloom. Over in the far corner, something moved... or was he imagining things? No, something had moved. Chris was sure of it. He swallowed. He wished he had stayed at home. As you can see, in the final example, the flow of the narrative is not interrupted by changes to tense or person, tags like 'he thought' or use of italics. The reader is not disturbed in any way... but we are well aware that we are deep in Chris's viewpoint, and we 'know' what he is thinking.
If you wanted to emphasise the fact that there was indeed something moving, and that Chris was scared, you could include italics for one sentence: No, something did move. You would keep it in the present tense, because it's almost like Chris vocalising a thought... as though he were talking to someone else. In this case, your final version would read:
Chris slowly descended the stairs, all senses alert. What if someone attacked him? He wouldn't be much use to Laura if he were dead.
He stopped on the bottom tread, holding his breath and peering into the gloom. Over in the far corner, something moved... or was he imagining things? No, something did move. Chris was sure of it. He swallowed. He wished he had stayed at home. In the end, it's up to you. You're the author. You know how you want the reader to interpret your words. Just keep telling yourself: "Make it smooth!"
(c) Copyright Marg McAlister
Marg McAlister has published magazine articles, short stories, books for children, ezines, promotional material, sales letters and web content. She has written 5 distance education courses on writing, and her online help for writers is popular all over the world. Sign up for her regular writers' tipsheet at http://www.writing4success.com/
Northbrook Cadillac Deville rentals .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareWhat a wonderful resource the Internet is!Students find information to... Read More
As one of those fabulous Baby Boomers, you now own... Read More
Have you ever had a student write to tell you... Read More
ESSAY 2Andre Malraux once said that what interested him in... Read More
1. Turning your idea into a bookWith non-fiction books the... Read More
As an editorial professional, I'm sure you're aware of the... Read More
Your struggling to sell just a few copies of your... Read More
'Summer afternoon - summer afternoon; to me those have always... Read More
Remember the days when we wrote with pen and paper?... Read More
"This is just brilliant. The whole interview is incredible? I'm?... Read More
There are so many ways for writers to make good... Read More
Whether you are writing a magazine article, composing a press... Read More
Creating incredible characters can be easy if you know of... Read More
When you get stuck for ideas, and the words won't... Read More
Story Structure Templates are the fastest way to write screenplays.... Read More
It's important to have a space set aside in your... Read More
At first, I noticed that I could have written many... Read More
Everybody knows writing a story is not easy. Like the... Read More
Long ago, movie directors mastered the technique of creating a... Read More
My dad was wrong. I just discovered that I am... Read More
Every writer expends a great deal of creative energy developing... Read More
Obtaining the skills for writing good business correpondence is important;... Read More
You wrote a tips booklet. Maybe more than one. Oh... Read More
A few months ago, I wrote a guide entitled: 101... Read More
Creative Writing Tips ?It's no use coming up with a... Read More
Beason Mercedes Benz s500 rentals ..Dream that your book can be a number one best... Read More
Yes, you know your subject. You also need to think... Read More
I have added a new word to my vocabulary. Logorrhea.... Read More
When you write for international audiences, mainly directly in English,... Read More
I've just come back to work after nine glorious, sun-drenched... Read More
How long should your chapters be?I can't resist... I have... Read More
Sometimes I can be dense when it comes to realizing... Read More
Characters in a good novel really carry the story along... Read More
ESSAY 2Andre Malraux once said that what interested him in... Read More
Whenever you sit down to plot a story (or even... Read More
You have a new website, or a new business, or... Read More
Using a ghostwriter to craft your free reprint articles and... Read More
In large publishing houses, many manuscripts penned by first-time authors,... Read More
First, let's tackle the question that is uppermost in many... Read More
If you find your sentences filled with commas, and they... Read More
Beyond three and four act story structure, lies the Hero's... Read More
I just finished to read a book. A story for... Read More
One of the best ways to blow someone's winning streak... Read More
Writing papers and book reports has long been the bane... Read More
We all know people who ramble. They include every boring... Read More
ELICIT, ILLICITElicit means to extract or draw out; illicit means... Read More
Most people can easily identify with the dreaded "writer's block".... Read More
1) Convince yourself you want to do something else. If... Read More
Not long ago, I took stock of my unrealized desire... Read More
What is Sense of Place? It's the image of a... Read More
Writing |