Home
>
Writing
>
Italics Part 2 - Using Italics to Show Thoughts

Italics Part 2 - Using Italics to Show Thoughts

Way back in your early school years, you were probably taught to use the tag "he thought" in your stories, to tip readers off that someone was thinking. If you substituted something more innovative, like "he pondered" or "Harry deliberated", you might even have scored a big red tick.

If you liked to read as well as write, you probably cottoned on to the fact that there are other ways to indicate thoughts - such as using italics. (It's not likely that a teacher pointed this out to you. Usually, teachers considered their job done once they'd taught you about "he thought".)

Great! Off you went, liberally sprinkling italics all over your stories to show what was going on in your character's head. Occasionally you might have used italics AND "he thought". No way the reader could get confused then!

Neither of these two methods is the best way to show thoughts.

The single most effective way is to show what your characters are thinking is to blend their thoughts into the narrative flow. Instead of moving into the present tense, stay in the past tense. (Unless your entire story is in the present tense, of course.)

Let's use a few examples to show the difference.

Using The Present Tense To Indicate Thoughts

Chris slowly descended the stairs, all senses alert. What if someone attacks me? I won't be much use to Laura if I'm dead.

He stopped on the bottom tread, holding his breath and peering into the gloom. Over in the far corner, something moved... or was he imagining things? No, something did move. Chris was sure of it. He swallowed. I wish I had stayed at home. What's wrong with this? The constant switching from past to present tense and from third person to first person is annoying to the reader. The "flow" is much smoother if the tense and person remain the same - unless clear signals are given to the reader. In this example, the writer has not even used a simple tag, "he thought", to prepare the reader.

2. Using The Tag "He Thought" Chris slowly descended the stairs, all senses alert. What if someone attacks me? he thought. I won't be much use to Laura if I'm dead.

He stopped on the bottom tread, holding his breath and peering into the gloom. Over in the far corner, something moved... or was he imagining things? No, he thought, something did move. Chris was sure of it. He swallowed. I wish I had stayed at home. This is an improvement. Now that we've inserted "he thought", the reader has clear signals. They're prepared for the change in tense - they know that most thoughts are in the present tense.

Tip: When you use the tag "he thought", try to get it as close to the beginning of the thoughts as possible. Note in the example above, I've written:

No, he thought, something did move.

NOT

No, something did move, he thought.

This is because readers commonly take in chunks of text when they read, rather than reading one word at a time. The closer the words 'he thought' are to the beginning of the thought, the clearer the signal to the reader that things are changing.

3. Using Italics Chris slowly descended the stairs, all senses alert. What if someone attacks me? I won't be much use to Laura if I'm dead.

He stopped on the bottom tread, holding his breath and peering into the gloom. Over in the far corner, something moved... or was he imagining things? No, something did move. Chris was sure of it. He swallowed. I wish I had stayed at home. The use of italics is another clear signal that we are reading someone's thoughts. They are a valuable tool - if they are not over-used. What you are reading here is just a small sample of text, but there are quite a few italics.

Imagine if the character did a lot of thinking. (Which is probable. Most of us are thinking all the time as we go about our daily business.) In every second paragraph there would be another sentence in italics.

So, some of you may be thinking... is there really a problem with that?

Yes, there is. Italics are used for other purposes apart from to show thoughts. Some authors write page after page of italics to show a dream, or put the whole prologue in italics. Italics are often used for emphasis, too (as we saw in Part #1 of this article). If your readers see italics, they may subconsciously give more emphasis to those thoughts than you'd intended.

A good rule of thumb is this: Use italics for thoughts that are especially significant in some way - or such strong thoughts that you want to see them emphasised in the mind of the reader. This might happen at times of great stress or fear for your character.

Now we'll move on to the best, least intrusive way to show a character's thoughts... blended into the natural flow of the text.

4. Blending Thoughts Into the Narrative

Chris slowly descended the stairs, all senses alert. What if someone attacked him? He wouldn't be much use to Laura if he were dead.

He stopped on the bottom tread, holding his breath and peering into the gloom. Over in the far corner, something moved... or was he imagining things? No, something had moved. Chris was sure of it. He swallowed. He wished he had stayed at home. As you can see, in the final example, the flow of the narrative is not interrupted by changes to tense or person, tags like 'he thought' or use of italics. The reader is not disturbed in any way... but we are well aware that we are deep in Chris's viewpoint, and we 'know' what he is thinking.

If you wanted to emphasise the fact that there was indeed something moving, and that Chris was scared, you could include italics for one sentence: No, something did move. You would keep it in the present tense, because it's almost like Chris vocalising a thought... as though he were talking to someone else. In this case, your final version would read:

Chris slowly descended the stairs, all senses alert. What if someone attacked him? He wouldn't be much use to Laura if he were dead.

He stopped on the bottom tread, holding his breath and peering into the gloom. Over in the far corner, something moved... or was he imagining things? No, something did move. Chris was sure of it. He swallowed. He wished he had stayed at home. In the end, it's up to you. You're the author. You know how you want the reader to interpret your words. Just keep telling yourself: "Make it smooth!"

Marg McAlister has published magazine articles, short stories, books for children, ezines, promotional material, sales letters and web content. She has written 5 distance education courses on writing, and her online help for writers is popular all over the world. Sign up for her regular writers' tipsheet at http://www.writing4success.com/

rental limo Atlanta .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

A Texas company is developing a hypersonic jet, Stargazer, that could fly from New York City to London in under an hour, redefining boundaries of aviation.

Porch pirates are on the prowl this holiday season. Tech guru Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson has a number of tips to prevent holiday package thefts.

Fueled by artificial intelligence, CyberDog the robotic dog is designed specifically locate fire ant nests, which are endangering ecosystems.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents

Internet browsers are useful, but they can be dangerous. Clicking on malicious links can direct you to dangerous websites that steal information or infect your device.

Apple's latest iOS update introduces advanced artificial intelligence capabilities, which may be capturing and analyzing sensitive information.

Breach site confirmed 56,904,909 Hot Topic users' data leaked online. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says the company's silence makes matters even worse.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how an innovative Easy-Way kit turns standard strollers electric, simplifying navigation for parents.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about T-Mobile being hacked in broad cyberattack on global phone and internet companies.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson shows you how to add, customize and manage widgets for quick access to apps and info from your iPhone home screen.

Wrong Google searches can not only compromise your device and personal data. They can also bring law enforcement to your doorstep. Hackers are targeting Google searches.

China's Shanghai Kepler Robotics has developed a new humanoid robot that can carry up to 35 pounds per hand for commercial applications across various industries

Checking your hearing has gotten easier with the new hearing test feature in AirPods Pro 2. You can take reliable hearing tests using your iPhone or iPad.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how a VPN — virtual private network — works and how running it can slow down the operation of your device.

The WalkON Suit F1, an exoskeleton developed to help people with disabilities, can actually walk over to a person in a wheelchair, solving a major problem.

ClickFix, a new scam targeting computer users, is on the rise in the U.S. The scam prompts its targets to click on a link to fix a problem.

Skydweller is the world's largest unmanned solar-powered aircraft that can stay airborne for weeks, and even months, without refueling.

The U.S. government said it is investigating after People's Republic of China hackers targeted commercial telecommunications service providers in the U.S.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Scammers are using increasingly sophisticated ways to lure unsuspecting victims, and some are impersonating an email help desk or support team.

You can unsend or edit your iMessages with the latest iOS updates. Kurt the CyberGuy explains how you can save yourself some potential embarrassment.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says there’s been a rise in cybercriminal services using hacked police and government emails to send subpoenas and data requests to U.S. companies.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how Axiom Space and luxury designer Prada are collaborating on NASA's Artemis III spacesuit design.

Italics Part 2 - Using Italics to Show Thoughts

Writing