The Magic of Layout in Your Story

"The Magic of Layout..."???

Okay... "magic" might seem a bit over the top when you first read this article title. But believe me, although it doesn't involve incantations or bubbling cauldrons, careful selection of layout does work magic on the reader.

Picture book authors understand this (as do parents and others who read a lot of picture books aloud). By moving a sentence - or even a word - to the next line, the author can add a lot of impact to the text.

When a word or sentence is moved to a new paragraph, the reader automatically pauses before reading it. This might be a physical pause, if the story is being read aloud, or it might be a mental pause. This can create tension, or set the reader up for a humorous twist, or add emphasis to one word alone.

Let me demonstrate.

TAKE ONE

Ben hauled himself over the sill and dropped silently into the room. He moved to one side, away from the window, and waited several minutes while his eyes adjusted to the dark. Objects in the room gradually began to take shape, defined by the bright moonlight. Ben mentally traced the path he would tread to get to the door; he didn't want to bump into anything, or send something crashing to the floor. Just as he was about to move, he heard a sound. A quiet sound... a sort of whispery scrape. No, not a scrape exactly. He listened harder; all senses on alert. Then there was a creak... and another. He realised it was coming from the hall outside. Someone was making an effort to move quietly. Ben took a few quick steps to one side, and crouched in a corner, half behind a chair. Then the door swung open and a figure was outlined in the dim light cast by the low-watt bulb in the hallway. His heart thumping, Ben exhaled slowly. It was McInerny in his dressing gown and slippers. The above is written in one 'solid' paragraph. It tells the story, but it fails to take advantage of the opportunities offered to build suspense. The pacing seems rushed; the tension doesn't really build.

We can change this simply by changing the layout. Sometimes, you will have to change the sentence itself to achieve the effect you want. You might have to shorten it, or use a sentence fragment (these often do a better job of reflecting someone's thoughts than complete sentences). You might find that you get the effect you want by putting a word or phrase in a paragraph on its own.

Let's experiment:

TAKE TWO

Ben hauled himself over the sill and dropped silently into the room. He moved to one side, away from the window, and waited several minutes while his eyes adjusted to the dark.

Objects in the room gradually began to take shape, defined by the bright moonlight. Ben scanned the room, mentally tracing the path he would follow to get to the door. He didn't want to bump into anything, or send something crashing to the floor.

Just as he was about to move, he heard something.

A quiet sound... a sort of whispery scrape.

No, not a scrape exactly. He listened harder; all senses on alert.

A creak. Then another.

Shuffle...creak.

It was coming from the hall outside, and getting closer. Someone was making an effort to move quietly.

Ben slid a few steps sideways into the corner, and crouched, half behind a chair. He shouldn't be immediately visible if anyone came in.

The door swung open. A figure was outlined in the dim light cast by the low-watt bulb out in the hallway. Ben exhaled slowly, his heart beating fast.

McInerny. In his dressing gown and slippers.

ANALYSIS

What we've done in the scene above is take one long paragraph and break it into ten paragraphs. This is quite a dramatic change... but it has been done with an eye to building in a lot more tension.

Imagine what it's like for Ben, dropping in through the window in this dark house. We don't know why he's there (since I just made it up) and we don't know how much of a threat McInerny is. But the point is, we have created suspense by showing the reader that Ben doesn't want to be seen or heard. By creating many more pauses - by making the reader wait until the next paragraph to find out what happens - we mimic the breathlessness and anticipation felt by Ben. (Remember, suspense is created not so much what happens as the anticipation of what will happen.)

Ben has come in through the window, so we can assume he's not supposed to be there. He doesn't want to make a noise or reveal his presence... so he's either afraid of being discovered, or he wants to keep his visit a secret.

Either way, we need to keep the reader on the edge of his or her seat. We can do this much more effectively by manipulating the layout, as you have seen.

PLACEMENT OF SPEECH TAGS

Changing the layout or structure of a sentence can work wonders in dialogue, too. Most writers tend to put a speech tag on the end of a sentence:

"I thought I left it at home," he said. That works just fine with short snippets of dialogue. But when you've got a character relaying a lot of information, you can give the reader a mental breather by moving the speech tag to the middle.

NOT THIS:

"I had no idea that he was involved in anything like this. As far as we knew, he just went to work every day. He always came home looking as though he'd done a day's work - dirty clothes and a black face. But come to think of it, he started working different hours about a month ago. If the boss wanted to keep going on a job they'd do a few hours overtime... or that's what he told us. Now it sounds like he wasn't even at work half the time," said Jenny. BUT THIS:

"I had no idea that he was involved in anything like this. As far as we knew, he just went to work every day," said Jenny. "He always came home looking as though he'd done a day's work - dirty clothes and a black face." She glanced across at Monroe. "But come to think of it, he started working different hours about a month ago. If the boss wanted to keep going on a job they'd do a few hours overtime... or that's what he told us. Now it sounds like he wasn't even at work half the time." In the first example, there's a fairly big chunk of dialogue followed by 'said Jenny'. This lessens the impact of what has been said, and the whole paragraph has been written so the reader isn't offered any 'mental pauses'. By inserting 'said Jenny' after the first two sentences, we're giving the reader time to absorb some information before going on to the next bit.

The sentence "She glanced across at Monroe" helps us to picture Jenny's actions as well as giving another 'pause' during which she seems to be processing the information she's just found out - and follows it up with more information: that he had been keeping different hours. This has added impact because it's offset from the rest of what Jenny has to say.

Next time you're editing your manuscript, play around with the words and paragraphs. See what happens if you create these mental pauses. Look at the page and judge the effect of building in a lot more white space, instead of one big, dense paragraph. You're sure to find that a simple thing like changing the layout can add a lot of zing to your style!

(c) Copyright Marg McAlister

Marg McAlister has published magazine articles, short stories, books for children, ezines, promotional material, sales letters and web content. She has written 5 distance education courses on writing, and her online help for writers is popular all over the world. Sign up for her regular writers' tipsheet at http://www.writing4success.com/

executive chauffeured services Bradford .. Madison to Airport car
In The News:

Getting virus alerts on your iPhone? Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson helps you learn how to handle fake scam alerts and boost security.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says opening emails is safe, but risks arise from interacting with links, attachments or HTML content.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals four signs of compromised Social Security numbers and offers five steps to protect yourself.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how MAB Robotics' Honey Badger 4.0, a versatile robot, now walks underwater with amphibious skills.
An updated Android trojan called FakeCall hijacks bank calls. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says Android phone manufacturers and Google need to step up their game on security.
The Massimo Modular E9 is a sleek, smart and comfy tiny home in 409 square feet. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson takes a closer look at what the future of housing might look like.
Every stock trader should consider a virtual private network to safeguard their trading, according to tech guru Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson.
Apple recently announced its new lineup of Macs and rolled out Apple Intelligence, its latest artificial intelligence-powered feature for its products.
A Swiss-engineered robot can climb ladders, showing why it's at the cutting edge of autonomous robotic solutions for harsh industrial settings.
Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson presents the cities targeted most by robocalls, why this is happening and what you can do about it to protect your privacy.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents
Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson shares tips and suggestions for how to get the best use out of the updated Calendar app available with the latest iOS update.
Your Social Security number, your unique identifier used for many purposes, has likely been leaked on the Dark Web; here are some steps you can take to protect yourself.
Researchers have developed a new technology that creates strong, sticky fibers capable of lifting objects and capturing things from a distance.
Smart rings track the same things that smartwatches do, including steps, sleep and a general overview of your overall health, and they tend have more battery life than smartwatches.
Researchers have developed a robotic finger that can perform routine medical exams like those conducted by doctors, helping to address the growing shortage of trained professionals.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
Insurance administrative services company Landmark Admin reported that a data breach from a May cyberattack affected over 800,000 people.
Sotheby's will auction the first artwork created by Ai-Da, the world's first robot artist created in 2019 by British gallerist Aidan Meller.
More than 250 million users of the Verizon Messages app will have to switch to another app. Verizon is shutting down Messages in the next month.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson provides a list of 10 celebrities who are the most targeted by deepfake scams, including Tom Hanks.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how Vast's Haven-1, launching in 2025, transforms space living with human-centric design.
UnitedHealth confirms over 100 million Change Healthcare users had their data stolen. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals what happened and what caused the breach.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how iOS 18 brings new text formatting and animated effects to the Messages app.
Whether you're a social media veteran or novice, Facebook friend request scams are common. Kurt the CyberGuy provides tips to keep your account safe.

9 More Writing Tips for Successful Email Marketing

A few months ago, I wrote a guide entitled: 101... Read More

Dreading the Writing Assignment? Outlines to the Rescue

Writing technical articles is a challenge. There you sit, surrounded... Read More

On Writing and Poetry: Harry Calhoun in Conversation

"This is just brilliant. The whole interview is incredible? I'm?... Read More

Writing the Chapters of Your Life: Surprising Insights Using This Special Journaling Technique

List-making is a favorite journaling technique and is often used... Read More

Creating a Writing Space

It's important to have a space set aside in your... Read More

Balance Your Life

Balance your life ... Read More

Creative Problem-Solving: Following Your Stream of Consciousness

Having trouble finding a solution to a nagging problem? Try... Read More

Check Your English Grammar With This Easy Technique

As an International language, English has been used widely in... Read More

2nd Installment on Autobiography

ESSAY 2Andre Malraux once said that what interested him in... Read More

The Three Cs of Writing an Excellent all Purpose Headline

Since the headline is the first contact your readers have... Read More

Get Published: The Nuts and Bolts of English, and How to Impress a Publisher (2)

The tiniest things can be so useful when you come... Read More

How You Can Find Freelance Editing Jobs

Freelance editing opportunities are out there, you just need to... Read More

How to Come Up with Fresh Story Ideas

How to Come Up with Fresh Story Ideas When Your... Read More

Italics Part 1 - Do You Need to Use Italics?

Next time you're tempted to use italics for emphasis... STOP!"Why?"... Read More

How To Write for the Web

The Scanning ReaderWriting for the Web is different than writing... Read More

Mumblings

The self-indulgent writer listens only to the mumblings of sycophants,... Read More

Want to start a publishing revolution?

Calling all publishers, editors, journalists and freelance writers. It's time... Read More

Are Writing Exercises Effective?

It was reported that the great American author Sinclair Lewis... Read More

Nonfiction Idea Generators

The hardest part of nonfiction writing is finding a subject... Read More

How To Self-Publish Your Own Books, Manuals, Reports Or Newsletters

You can make a lot of money by writing and... Read More

A Perfect Day for Writers

In one of the exercises in my "Getting Started as... Read More

How to Write Words Worth a Thousand Pictures

Our Image-Driven SocietyWe live in a new image-driven society. It... Read More

Keep your Book Dream Alive

Is your book nearly finished, finished, published, or even in... Read More

Another Way to Show Your Expertise: Write a Book!

Maybe you should write a book! This is not as... Read More

A Mode of Transportation

Great writing transports one vicariously to realms that the reader... Read More

O'Hare Chicago prom limo ..