Home
>
Writing
>
The Writers Angst

The Writers Angst

What is this annoying, insidious angst that permeates my psyche? In all other regards, I'm a moderately confident guy. I'm secure in my abilities to be a good father, husband, employee, friend, gardener, etc. And, heck! Lots of folks tell me I'm a good writer. I'm passionate about my writing. I consumed by my stories. I can't stop, can't envision life without it.

Yet, I have this persistent fear that I will be "outed" as a fraud by the next highbrow literary critic that comes upon my work. Even though complete strangers have given surprisingly glowing reviews to my first (and worst) book, even though my readers tell me otherwise, I can't get over the fear that a "real" writer will some day come along and renounce me, sending banishing me into the netherworld of faux writer fools who tumble around with ridiculous stories and are woefully inadequate when put to the task.

I know it's absurd. I've told friends, many friends, who write beautifully, that they are writers simply due to the process. If it's in your blood, if you can't stop, if your day is filled with the details of the next chapter, if you write for therapy, then you are a writer! You don't need a degree in English Lit or Composition to qualify. Heck, my degree is in Engineering. You don't need a degree, period! And yet, I have trouble applying that philosophy to myself.

I guess I have been slowly improving. Having taken part in an author's fair, having been called a "local author" by newspapers and radio hosts, having been dubbed "Genesee Valley Writer," has helped. As I receive more and more reviews from strangers (those who don't "have" to tell me I'm good), the anxiety has lessened a tad. But still, each time I know someone is reading the book, this annoying worry niggles around in brain. Will they like it? Will they see through me and spotlight the flaws? Will my still-fragile author ego be smashed?

It's so silly. I really hate it. I have to stop caring that when I've bared my soul to the world, it might get trounced on, smashed, and spattered with criticism. I guess it's time to admit... I am a "real" writer. And that's a step in the "write" direction.

Aaron Paul Lazar
www.legardemysteries.com

Aaron Paul Lazar resides in Upstate New York with his wife, three daughters, two grandsons, mother-in- law, two dogs, and three cats. After writing in the early morning hours, he works as an electrophotographic engineer at NexPress Solutions Inc., part of Kodak's Graphic Communications Group, in Rochester, New York. Additional passions include vegetable, fruit, and flower gardening; preparing large family feasts; photographing his family, gardens, and the breathtakingly beautiful Genesee Valley; cross-country skiing across the rolling hills; playing a distinctly amateur level of piano, and spending "time" with the French Impressionists whenever possible.

Although he adored raising his three delightful daughters, Mr. Lazar finds grandfathering his "two little buddies" to be one of the finest experiences of his life. Double Forte', the first in the series, was published in January 2005. Upstaged, number two, is in production. With eight books under his belt, Mr. Lazar is currently working on the ninth, which features Gus LeGarde and his family. www.legardemysteries.com

Indian Head Park taxi to Midway .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

The Reachy 2 robot is designed to be friendly and approachable, inviting natural interaction and is perfect for research, education and experimenting with embodied AI.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson shares several easy ways to keep your credit cards safe from digital thieves while you're traveling this summer.

Arcturus sets up cameras around the edges of baseball stadiums to capture real-time action and generate a 3D digital clone of the game.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

The CyberGuy explains why healthcare organizations are vulnerable to hackers after there have been a half dozen data breaches this year.

Developed at two California universities, the innovative technology combines brain-computer interfaces with advanced AI to decode neural activity into audible speech.

Microsoft patches 12 critical flaws, but six have already been exploited by criminals. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says updating your system is only a short-term fix.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how robots can milk, feed and clean cows on dairy farms, boosting efficiency and comfort.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says quantum internet ensures unhackable security and redefines online privacy and speed.

Kawasaki's CORLEO is a hydrogen-powered, AI-driven rideable robot. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reports on this new way of thinking about off-road transportation.

The CyberGuy breaks down five mobile privacy terms that could make a difference when it comes to keeping your personal information safe.

A groundbreaking robot that's like a real-life Wall-E uses advanced artificial intelligence to replicate natural gestures and deliberate actions with striking accuracy.

If not properly managed, Windows Defender Application Control, a security feature with Windows, could be a potential security vulnerability.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

FlashBot Arm, a semi-humanoid robot, acts more like a human than traditional robots, and you may see it working at a restaurant, healthcare center or hotel.

There are multiple ways to find your missing Android phone after it goes missing. One method involves using a smartwatch to ping your phone.

The NeuroOne OneRF Ablation System is a new device with FDA-cleared technology designed for both diagnosing and treating neurological disorders in one procedure.

The CyberGuy provides tips to protect yourself from criminals who use various methods to make unauthorized transactions using your account information.

New drone technology maps land and water with stunning accuracy, giving researchers and conservationists a new way to understand our planet.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

X hit with massive data breach with 200 million records leaked, including emails. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers seven tips to help protect yourself.

Atlas robot by Boston Dynamics amazes tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson with its breakdancing moves.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about how Google kept Android SafetyCore details quiet until it scanned users' photos.

Hydrogen trucks debut in Georgia, sparking debates on costs and green freight gains. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson comments on this promising chapter in green logistics evolution.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says ChatGPT learns from chats, but you should avoid sharing sensitive information to protect your privacy.

The Writers Angst

Writing