Home
>
Writing
>
The Writers Angst

The Writers Angst

What is this annoying, insidious angst that permeates my psyche? In all other regards, I'm a moderately confident guy. I'm secure in my abilities to be a good father, husband, employee, friend, gardener, etc. And, heck! Lots of folks tell me I'm a good writer. I'm passionate about my writing. I consumed by my stories. I can't stop, can't envision life without it.

Yet, I have this persistent fear that I will be "outed" as a fraud by the next highbrow literary critic that comes upon my work. Even though complete strangers have given surprisingly glowing reviews to my first (and worst) book, even though my readers tell me otherwise, I can't get over the fear that a "real" writer will some day come along and renounce me, sending banishing me into the netherworld of faux writer fools who tumble around with ridiculous stories and are woefully inadequate when put to the task.

I know it's absurd. I've told friends, many friends, who write beautifully, that they are writers simply due to the process. If it's in your blood, if you can't stop, if your day is filled with the details of the next chapter, if you write for therapy, then you are a writer! You don't need a degree in English Lit or Composition to qualify. Heck, my degree is in Engineering. You don't need a degree, period! And yet, I have trouble applying that philosophy to myself.

I guess I have been slowly improving. Having taken part in an author's fair, having been called a "local author" by newspapers and radio hosts, having been dubbed "Genesee Valley Writer," has helped. As I receive more and more reviews from strangers (those who don't "have" to tell me I'm good), the anxiety has lessened a tad. But still, each time I know someone is reading the book, this annoying worry niggles around in brain. Will they like it? Will they see through me and spotlight the flaws? Will my still-fragile author ego be smashed?

It's so silly. I really hate it. I have to stop caring that when I've bared my soul to the world, it might get trounced on, smashed, and spattered with criticism. I guess it's time to admit... I am a "real" writer. And that's a step in the "write" direction.

Aaron Paul Lazar
www.legardemysteries.com

Aaron Paul Lazar resides in Upstate New York with his wife, three daughters, two grandsons, mother-in- law, two dogs, and three cats. After writing in the early morning hours, he works as an electrophotographic engineer at NexPress Solutions Inc., part of Kodak's Graphic Communications Group, in Rochester, New York. Additional passions include vegetable, fruit, and flower gardening; preparing large family feasts; photographing his family, gardens, and the breathtakingly beautiful Genesee Valley; cross-country skiing across the rolling hills; playing a distinctly amateur level of piano, and spending "time" with the French Impressionists whenever possible.

Although he adored raising his three delightful daughters, Mr. Lazar finds grandfathering his "two little buddies" to be one of the finest experiences of his life. Double Forte', the first in the series, was published in January 2005. Upstaged, number two, is in production. With eight books under his belt, Mr. Lazar is currently working on the ninth, which features Gus LeGarde and his family. www.legardemysteries.com

last minute cleaning help Arlington Heights ..

In The News:

Fox News Digital's artificial intelligence newsletter digs into a robot in Russia that faceplanted, George Clooney's alarm and OpenAI's rivalry with the New York Times.

Major data breach at Conduent exposes personal information of 10+ million people. Government contractor hit by cyberattack affecting Medicaid, child support systems.

Texas startup Janta Power raises $5.5M for innovative vertical solar towers that generate 50% more energy than traditional panels while using just one-third the land.

NASA's twin ESCAPADE spacecraft launched aboard Blue Origin's New Glenn rocket Thursday afternoon from Cape Canaveral, beginning their journey to Mars with arrival expected in 2027.

Learn how to set email reminders on iPhone and Android so you never forget to reply again. Simple built-in features help you stay organized and on top of messages.

Discover how Apple's passkeys revolutionize Mac security by replacing vulnerable passwords with biometric authentication and encryption for ultimate protection.

New survey reveals 78% of parents fear AI scams targeting their kids, yet nearly half haven't discussed these threats. Learn why this dangerous gap exists.

Chrome now autofills passport and driver's license info automatically. Google's latest browser update adds official document support with encryption and user control.

Scammers impersonate Department of Veterans Affairs employees claiming veterans owe money, but real VA communications only direct to VA.gov or official channels.

The AltoVolo Sigma hybrid-electric aircraft flies 500 miles at 220 mph while operating 80% quieter than helicopters, featuring safety systems and compact design.

Google search scam alert: fake customer service numbers can give scammers remote control of your phone. Learn how to spot these traps and protect yourself.

Electric vehicles overtake gas cars in total CO2 savings after just two years of driving, with emissions benefits growing over time as power grids get cleaner.

Louvre Museum reportedly used "Louvre" as password for surveillance system during $100M jewel heist. Learn how weak passwords put even famous institutions at risk.

Bipartisan AI jobs bill from Sens. Hawley and Warner would require companies to report AI-related layoffs and hiring to Department of Labor quarterly.

Joe A. from Shelton, Connecticut, lost $228,000 to a ZAP Solutions cryptocurrency investment scam after his divorce, highlighting rising online fraud.

AI-powered autonomous trucks from Waabi and Volvo target U.S. freight driver shortage with Level 4 self-driving technology and NVIDIA computing platform integration.

Survive flight disruptions with expert travel tips: Book early morning flights, download airline apps and know your refund rights during service cuts.

Apple's iOS 26.1 update delivers major security fixes, performance boosts and enhanced privacy controls for your iPhone. Discover why updating now protects your data.

Russian hackers use fake CAPTCHA tests to spread dangerous malware targeting governments and journalists. Learn how to protect yourself from these deceptive attacks.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Miami-Dade debuts America's first autonomous police SUV with AI cameras, drone deployment and real-time crime detection in groundbreaking law enforcement pilot.

Bank impostor scams cost Americans $2.9 billion as criminals use AI voices and caller ID spoofing to steal life savings. Learn nine essential fraud protection tips.

Foreign-owned apps secretly harvest personal data from seniors, making them prime targets for scams. Learn how to protect your privacy and stop data brokers today.

Sens. Josh Hawley and Richard Blumenthal introduce bipartisan GUARD Act to protect minors from AI chatbots through mandatory age verification and disclosure requirements.

Ghost-tapping scammers exploit wireless technology to drain accounts through small transactions, but RFID-blocking wallets and transaction alerts can protect you.

The Writers Angst

Writing